Monthly Archives: May 2012

I Left My Wallet In El Segundo

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An interesting day. I had to come in to the cigar shack an hour early which wasn’t so bad, the commute is geared to end at 10:00 so I had smooth sailing since I was on the 9:30 bus. Tomorrow is going to be a pain in the tuchis since I will have to be at the cigar shack at 8:00 so Bradley can train us on things we need to be trained on.

It has been quite an interesting day to say the least. I did the bank run this morning and while walking and chatting with Bill on the phone, I spotted Steve Martin walking by. He was trying to be invisible and as he passed me I said ‘Hi Steve’ and he nodded and kept on moving. I have to admit, it was a thrill to see him. He looked good and dapper in an LA style while walking down Broadway.

I did the bank run and headed back to the cigar shack where I was working with Thomas and Jerry Vale. Bradley was out today as was the possum and Zack was out somewhere in New Jersey. It was a good day, not as busy as the head Jesus would have liked, but relatively OK. The three of us made for a good team, only stepping on each others toes occasionally and usually apologizing if and when that happened.

Lunch came quickly and went quickly. I sat on a bench by the park and smoked a cigar, joined in the last few minutes by an older gentleman who shops at the cigar shack. He lives across the street from my bench and his wife spotted me and told the older gent who came down to smoke with me. I only had about 10 minutes left to spend with him and we had a good chat about the cigar shack.

As I headed back to the cigar shack, I had a few extra minutes and sat down. Then I spotted George Takei and his husband Brad walking down the street. I asked George takei if I could have a picture and he said sure so I handed Brad the camera and he took a lovely snapshot. I showed it to Thomas once I got back to the cigar shack and he was quite thrilled.

He almost went out to see if George Takei was still around but I talked him out of it, telling him that he had probably moved on. Earlier in the day we received an email from Zack saying that the email servers would be down for a few hours starting around 6:00. AT around 6:30 I get a text from Zack, telling me to check my email when I get a chance.

I reply, telling him that the servers were down (much like he predicted earlier in the day), and then a minute later, asking him if there was something I should know. It weighed on my mind and I asked Thomas and Jerry Vale if they got the same message but they hadn’t. An hour or so later I checked again to see if the server was up.

It was then that I received word that Zack has discovered this blog. Apparently former genital massager Markos hipped Zack to this here blog and Zack emailed me in turn. It surprised me but I had a feeling that someone would have figured it out eventually. I mean, the Martini Basher incident a couple of years ago should have been a tip off but it went unnoticed. Most everyone knew about it, even Bradley knew about it. He’ll probably deny it but he has quoted things from this here blog. Some customers read this here blog and they enjoy it.

And to my credit, Zack did say it was witty, much more witty than the other blog that I unofficially write for the cigar shack. I say unofficially since I do not get paid for it and there’s really no credit for it. Zack did carbon copy Bradley on the email, saying ‘I guess GZA was right’. What does Wu Tang Clan have to say about the blog? Such a cryptic poet that Zack can be.

My writing was called Beckett-like the other day which I took as high praise and now this! Samuel Beckett, one of the greatest writers of the 20th Century…

So I guess tomorrow could very well be my last day. Today did have an air of finality to it and also felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Word is now officially out that I am unhappy working at the cigar shack and with my sales this month being subpar he might just get what he wanted, or at least what Bradley wanted.

Nevertheless I have to attend Bradley’s training session tomorrow at 8:00AM. That should be very interesting. Is the writing on the wall or merely on this here blog? You know I will keep you posted whatever happens. I think things are getting quite interesting, wouldn’t you agree?

George Takei and me


04 The Last Time

I Know You’re Out There Somewhere

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I just woke up from a nap. It was supposed to be an hour long nap, and I set the Internet Alarm Clock for an hour. I got as far as a half hour, waking up from a deep sleep, apparently dreaming that the alarm clock was going off. It creates an irritating sound, two rooms away which would cause me to get out of bed and shut it off, close the window.

I guess I was dreaming about it, and the sound is like a large mechanical dog barking and it ‘barked’ about 4 or 5 times then stopped making me think Bill was home and shut it off. But he wasn’t and once I was awake, I couldn’t go back to sleep.

It was a somewhat productive day off. Laundry that was washed over the weekend was finally put away. It took a while due to time and the fact that things were dried on racks. The humidity did not help much with the drying. The usual trip to the supermarket, the quick chat with Isis and back home for breakfast.

I started to despair since about a dozen resumes went out over the past weekend and nary a nibble had occurred. I knew if I stayed indoors all day it would be too depressing so out for a walk I went.

I printed out a few resumes and decided to hit a few spots on Washington Street, even if there was no sign in the window, I talked to whoever was in and introduced myself, gave a little song and dance and dropped off the CV. Other places that did have ‘Now Hiring’ signs in their window directed me to visit their websites and go sign up there. Still, I left my CV there before heading out.

There are a few spots in town with ‘Join our Team’ signs in the window, and you visit their website and wait for nothing to happen. At least nothing happens to me. I’ve applied a few times, I don’t have any visible tattoos and am willing to stand and do whatever it takes, whatever they ask and no word is forthcoming. So I apply and reapply anyway.

A bright spot in my day was running into Lisa Rigoux Hoppe on the street. She was looking good, coming back from physical therapy and going to get a bite to eat before heading back to work. She mentioned that she’s been looking at the university website on my behalf but there really isn’t anything happening and the things that are happening are listed for the students. And that’s my competition, the students, the recent college graduates and the people who have been out of work for some time.

I don’t know what it is. The cigar shack for me personally has been getting worse and worse. A cigar dinner is planned and I have advertised it on the cigar shack blog, and I have placed other adverts online and sent out emails. My clients are uninterested or broke or what is the likely cause, my emails get sent to their spam folders since under pressure from the midlevel head cheeses I send them too many emails.

So there is that pressure to upsell everything. I have to stop treating people the way I like to be treated when I shop. I have to be more in their face, hovering around them and not sell the lower priced items but go for the big ticket items which more often than not, turns them off and after trying to sell a lighter for $1,900 they leave not caring about a $25 lighter that is available and in their price range.

I don’t care about fancy watches and I don’t look for them on people’s wrists. I can’t read people like that, I tend to look past the surface and see the person underneath the fancy trappings. My co-workers have an eye for that and I guess that’s why they tend to do better. I guess working at the late, lamented Farfetched or even Pier Platters back in the day, i.e. working for friends- does not really count as working retail.

Apparently I am ahead of the curve on cigars somehow. I prefer the larger gauge cigars and for the past two years management and co-workers have derided me on that fact. Now the premium cigar makers are coming out with larger gauge cigars. Management will grumble, but there’s the fact- I was right and they were wrong.

With regards to my co-workers, there is also the fact that they have been working retail most of their lives and are better at that, where I have been working in offices mostly and used to the 9 to 5, Monday through Friday gigs.

It’s still rough out there and I do have a job.


Road To Nowhere