Monthly Archives: January 2008


It’s Thursday and it is to laugh. My sister took a Laughter Yoga course last weekend. Apparently, laughter IS the best medicine. If you laugh you feel good, and even if you fake laughing you can still get the benefits. With the day that I had today, I got some laughter in this afternoon and it really helped my mood. You know, last Thursday when I was sick, was a better Thursday than today. One of the things Tom Chin said, as a warning perhaps, that this week would be employee reviews, to determine the mythical bonuses.

A few people were called into closed door sessions, but not me. Neither was one of the Stooges, Moe. He’s been on the outs with Vivek who smiles in Moe’s face, while sharpening a knife. Last month Vivek asked me to find out how soon someone could be expelled from the network. The answer was, it could be within minutes, depending on where the IT was, if he was available or not, or he would send his assistant into the office to do it. So that could all be tomorrow. Getting rid of myself and Moe would save the company some money. I’d prefer it doesn’t happen, but in the event that it does happen, I set about cleaning out my desk.

I admit I was disappointed it didn’t happen today, I was on pins and needles all day. I did get a lot of work done, which means if I don’t get fired, I will have very little to do next week. Already some tasks hat I used to do have been reassigned to Lydia. I talked to a temp, Peaches, who works for another company that sublets office space from us while having a smoke.

She told me about how she was once let go from a company that gave her six months salary as a severance package. That would be nice to have. She called it shut up money, whereas other people or companies would call it hush money. A tidy amount to keep one’s mouth shut. I do have things to shut my mouth about. Monkeys in trees eating bananas while singing dirges in the original Latin. Things like that. I think Tom Chin who was more than likely bullied when he was growing up 50 years ago might see this as an opportunity to lord it over me. I see that mentioning those two things might give me some leverage. Dirge singing monkeys banana smeared mouths spewing Latin. I’m fucking Matt Damon.

It was an odd day. The only people that spoke to me was Moe, Curly and Lydia. Greg Stevens said hi in passing. Vivek totally ignored me after saying hello to just about everyone else in the office. Tom Chin didn’t say anything either. Whatever it is, I did my best. I tried to create a system in the office so things would run smoothly. True there was that file that was on my desk last week, though to my credit, I did phone in and tell them where it was.

Not good enough I guess. If I didn’t get sick last week this all could have been avoided, but I got sick and that’s that. Nobody got hurt, no rules were broken, no information or identities stolen. So this is where I stand. Not feeling secure in my job, but able to laugh, and that’s what’s important. I guess that’s why I’m feeling pretty positive, not the negative person I could be and have been when in situations like this. And so I laugh! Like so…and I’m not being sarcastic

Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five

Well here it is, Wednesday. Started out rainy, started out with me sleeping later than usual and that was because I was up until midnight which I rarely do. Maybe on Fridays or Saturdays, but not Tuesday. Bill’s dad is still unresponsive, in a fetal position. His heart rate slows and speeds up and he’s breathing on his own, but I guess not much else is going on. Bill spent most of the day at the hospital. The bitch of a home health care aide threatened to call social services, claiming that Bill is neglecting his mother’s care.

Of course this happened after Bill told her there will be no money under the table, and that her services were no longer required. Oh and she’s a judgmental religious type to boot. I tried to reassure Bill that she’s probably gone forever, and that was her last attempt to get back at Bill. She will probably move on to another family to torment, holy book in one hand, and a steel rod up her ass.

After a slow hustle around the apartment I got to the bus stop to see the regulars standing there, leaving me to think that either everyone woke up late or the bus was late. It was the bus because it was crazy crowded when I got on it. Since it was rainy and since I was late, I decided to take the train, and once on the platform I remembered why I don’t like to take the train. Too crowded and I couldn’t fit onto the first train that pulled in, I mumbled Fuck this shit and stepped off waiting for the next E train.

Got to the office a little bit late yet still in before anyone else. I did what I had to do, and also deftly avoided Tom Chin who is probably wondering why I don’t have anything to say to him that’s not work related. Maybe it’s because he yelled at me last Friday when I was still sick, or maybe it’s because he’s just a 58 year old nerd. It’s probably a mixture of the two. I heard tomorrow is the employee review day.

Two of the Three Stooges were in and they mentioned they were probably going out for drinks after work, I told them I would probably be logging onto I was joking really. I don’t think anything will happen, that they will fire my ass. I don’t even care about the bonus that could depend on the review. If I get it, great. If I don’t, no big deal. If they try anything though, I do have an ace up my sleeve.

I did hear from a former Wanker Banker colleague, that one of the IT guys, my old pals, Vinnie’s father passed away yesterday. That was sad to hear, Vinnie being a really good guy. I made a point to go to a card shop and buy a card for Vinnie, a birthday card for my brother in law Rex, who got the Onion Atlas that I ordered for his birthday this weekend, and a card for my late cousin Jackie’s widow, Corinne to let her know I was thinking of her. I didn’t send a holiday card to Corinne, it didn’t seem like the thing to do, they were probably still grieving and having a sad Christmas. A handwritten card a month later could say so much more.

I left the office a whole fifteen minutes early, even said good night to Tom Chin but his head is so far up his ass that he probably couldn’t hear me, being so gassy and all. Had to buy coffee for the office, I was glad to see that girl was not behind the counter. One guy filled my order, a new guy filled it, charging me for two pounds instead of three. I had to tell him the actual price. I turned and walked out the store after the purchase, and there she was, the girl who was so tired and cranky the first day I walked in. I think she thinks we’re friends. I don’t know why. I do my best not to give her that impression. ‘Oh you’re buying more coffee?’ she said. ‘Yes I am’ and I walked out the door into the brisk, yet refreshing arctic air.

Added a few hours later