11:15 AM June 24, 2026. Big fruit stand. Fairly quiet at the moment. That could change any minute. Working with Violet. Steely Dan Aja is playing for the second time. I figure that if I have to rearrange my lunch time to accommodate Violet then I will comandeer the music.

I actually thought about the music last night at home. Soft, easy going stuff. I started out with the Spinners Greatest Hits and now we’re on Steely Dan. I’m sure you can figure out where this is going. Then Boz Scaggs’ Silk Degrees came on…

There is a Pride event at this big fruit stand this afternoon though I am uncertain I was invited or allowed to take part in it. That’s fine. I’m always the odd man out at these types of things and if this type of thing can be avoided you know that I will avoid it.

So I have my scheduled lunch in 30 minutes. I am not hungry but that does not matter. I did bring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which I will more than likely eat when I return and when Violet goes on her lunch break. I will sit in a concrete park a block away and enjoy a little cigar.

My sister flies in tonight. My brother has flown out to Colorado. They might not see each other this time. And with the whole thing involving getting older, who knows what’s what? Myself, I am anxious since I haven’t seen my sister in a few years and she has a discerning eye (& ears) and will probably worry about my state of health.

And an aspect of my state of health is directly related to having a small cigar at lunch time. After years of smoking both tobacco and marijuana something was bound to take it’s toll and Annemarie will definitely pick up on that. That is causing me enough anxiety already.

Yancy made it a point to seek me out and ask my opinion on Clive Davis’ passing. I told him that I didn’t work directly with Clive Davis, though I did work for someone who did, that I mentioned the other day in a previous post. Yes he was a legend of his own making.

I sent Mike a post about a possible job and he is interested in it but since he only has his phone, he is going to have to call me when I get home to work on it together. It should not be too difficult since I already have most of his information on my computer already.

It wasn’t difficult but I did mess up a bit by sending a list of references instead of a cover letter. I caught it soon after the initial sending, but I felt bad as I apologized on Mike’s behalf and re-sent the information. Is there comfort in knowing it’s for a custodial position and that grammatic accuracy is not a requirement for picking up trash in a public park in Manhattan?

Still, there is unease.

It’s a great day; quite a bit of rain last night. It’s needed as we are in a drought. The grass in Liberty State Park was yellowing, and with this batch of rain, it may be green again. I won’t know since this weekend I will not be bicycling.

My sister is flying into town for 7 days. She’ll be here tomorrow and leave next Wednesday. My brother Brian might miss her completely as he is in Colorado tending to his son, Brian, who was in a motorcycle accident in May and did not look after himself, and now has issues regarding blood clots.

Brian 2 listened to his mother and went to the emergency room, and he’s been in the hospital ever since. Brian 1 flew there at the last minute and needed a ride share to get from Denver to Boulder, which I believe is about 30 miles and that more than likely cost a bit of money. Our niece Corrinne is dog-sitting in that area so last night she was able to help him out as much as possible.

Summer depression is no fun. I can feel its edges nearby. Usually at lunch, when I am just sitting outside enjoying a cigar, I get waylaid by existential questions, and those are never easy to deal with. If I were going to feel those feelings, I would rather do it at home.

Over the weekend, there were some ill feelings between Bill and myself. Bill had a tooth extraction and was prescribed antibiotics. Bill likes yogurt, which is probiotic. I remembered when I was on antibiotics for something or another, and my sister advised me to have yogurt for the probiotics.

I thought one could not enjoy yogurt while on antibiotics. I suggested Bill look it up, but on the way home from the supermarket, we stopped off at the chain store pharmacy where Bill asked the person behind the counter about antibiotics and probiotics. They reassured Bill, and Bill told me that it would be OK.

I still suggested getting a second opinion, and that upset Bill so much he got bratty, and getting bratty shut me down. That created a few hours of noncommunication between us and was very uncomfortable. I tried to take a nap but was too stressed.

I did talk to my sister, who told me that yogurt and antibiotics were alright to mix. So I was wrong. A twist of the knife was that Bill had back problems a few weeks ago and I always asked about it, making suggestions when possible. And now the tooth extraction had me looking after Bill even more.

The thing is, a few weeks ago, there was a mark on my face about the size of a quarter. I told Bill about it, and he listened and never asked about it, whereas I’m the idiot motherfucker asking about his tooth or his back.

After sitting on my front steps smoking a cigar, I went back upstairs where things had gotten quite frosty. I made dinner and asked if he could eat that with his tooth and all, and he couldn’t. We did have a talk, and he resented me not trusting him and thinking he was a moron.

I told him I did not think he was a moron. I did think he was incapable of returning care, though. I told him about the thing on my face that I have been managing, and it’s almost gone, and that I’m looking out for him, but he couldn’t be bothered to look out for me.

Only child syndrome, perhaps. Things did resolve. And things are better; he is actually making a show of looking at my face, and I need to tell him he is looking at the wrong side of my face. He is making an effort, and we shall see how long that lasts.

The fruit stand is having an off site event on Thursday. I am reluctant since my sister arrives tomorrow. Then again, I probably won’t see her until Friday so I guess it will all work out. I have sent my info in that I will be a team player and attending this soirée for what it’s worth