Fanciful

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Back in the office. I admit that I messed up on a couple of things the past few days. In the back of my mind, the evil Jiminy Cricket whispers that I am about to be fired. Signs indicate some things. Marcus was going to have me train on ordering supplies tomorrow when I am at the big fruit stand, but now that is not going to happen. And Jiminy Cricket whispers ‘ why would they train someone who’s about to be let go?’

There is no proof beyond my paranoia. Bill is on the road today, and Mike is coming over to fill the void. One of the main drones from the big fruit stand is in the office. I didn’t know of his visit and merely asked,’ What are you doing here?’ an innocuous and harmless question which could be used against me.

Last night Bill and I watched Harold and Maude. I had seen it before, Bill had not. He enjoyed the macabre humor and did not know that Bud Cort was, and didn’t know that he died last week. It’s still a touching movie, and I was glad to show it to Bill.

At work, Jiminy Cricket is whispering in my ear. I am trying to appease the company that placed me at the fruit stand. I could definitely use a nap. Jimmy Chile helped me out a bit with a response to email my supervisor with. Taking what they sent me, rewording it, and sending it back. Jimmy Chile has a better grip on things than I do.

I am off to pick up my lunch from Wendy’s. Not the healthiest, but it serves a purpose. I had chicken nuggets, medium fries, and a chocolate frosty some of which wound up on my shirt. I know chicken nuggets are not real, but they did the job, and I will probably have a hamburger tomorrow as well as Saturday.

Still wrestling with the staffing agency and their need to read my goals. I can only think of one goal, and that is to wake up, go to work, and come home with no harm to myself or others. But that would not satisfy them. Too honest and too simple, and though it is work-related I don’t think they would see it that way

In 1995, a man and a woman whom I am friends with got married. They were a lovely couple, and they still are. I foolishly asked if they were going to have children, asking because I thought that they would be awesome parents. It was not received that way, and I ruffled the male of the species’ feathers. In hindsigh,t it was none of my business but I meant no offense.

I still think of them as friends, though time has passed and my mouth may have caused bruising in the relationship. Nothing malicious as far as I know, but malice is sometimes in the ear of the beholder. Perhaps it is merely another case of my sometimes default setting of vapidity.

Listening to Lazy Line Painter Jane by Belle and Sebastian, gifted by my greatly missed friend Juan, who is out there enjoying the universe since he was much too good to remain on the wheel of reincarnation.

Listening to songs from his mixtape playlists makes me miss him so much. He was a good friend, and I thought he would live forever. He should have. I wish I paid more attention.

I can’t play any more songs, they’re making me sad.

Jesse Jackson has passed away. I attended one of his rallies. It may have been autumn 1987; I videotaped it, I think. Just don’t ask me where the tape is. I recall it may have been on West 58th Street by the Plaza, but you know how fanciful my memory can be.

Smell Test

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Saturday morning dream that had John Hamilton and Jane Scarpantoni. When I was talking to my brother Brian on the phone he mentioned the vivid dreams he’s been having. I too have been having vivid dreams as of late.

It was a good weekend. Mike came over on Friday and I made a conscious effort to be in a good frame of mind. Bill and Mike sat on the couch chatting the hours away. I turned off the TV and listened with an occasional interjection.

I also played a selection of Brian Eno tracks and picked up the guitar for a bit. it was all very pleasant and I went to bed before Bill or Mike. I slept quite well and woke up before 9 AM on Saturday morning.

Bill dropped off his laundry and got us all breakfast sandwiches from the bagel shop I do not patronize anymore. Bill and I each had one, Mike had two which was fine since Mike paid for his own.

We ran some errands after the breakfast sandwiches, a trip to see Mona, a stop at the dispensary and the cigar shop and then the supermarket. Bill and Mike having good chats as we strolled on a nice Saturday.

Back at the apartment we watched the TV, settling on Wonder Man which was highly recommended by Marcus at work. And Marcus was right, it was very good.

I decided after the eight episodes of Wonder Man which flew by, that another Ben Kingsley movie might be worth checking out, Sexy Beast. I had seen it before. Ben Kingsley steals this movie with his performance.

Mike was not into it and Bill was seemingly ambivalent until the Don Logan character shows up. Soon Bill was off to bed, leaving Mike and me to carry on before I too went horizontal next to Bill, Mike stretched out on the couch. Mike likes the couch and sleeps soundly upon it

Both Bill and Mike were up before me on Sunday morning. No breakfast sandwiches for anyone, though Mike had his cereal and Bill has whatever it was that he had, probably soup. Yes Bill has soup for breakfast on occasion, not as odd as I used to think.

I am at work now. somehow I spaced on sending a reply to an email request. Of course, Yancy found it. Embarrassed and cautious. I was worried about my cognitive skills. So I downloaded a Self Administered Gerocognitive Examination, or SAGE.

I completed the test within a few minutes. Too easy. I guess I am not as far gone as I feared. Or am I? It is a scary prospect. A woman I grew up with, Audrey Iwanicki, had dementia for a number of years before passing away and she was only few years older than me.

It’s really nothing to brag about, taking the test. L’Orange merde brags about it like it was a major accomplishment, and perhaps it is to him

I had an email from the agency that placed me at the fruit stand. My goals have to be emailed today. I thought later this week but the email said otherwise.

Luckily I had actually fed some information into the dreaded AI and to me, the results were satisfactory. But it is not up to me. I sent out what I had and now have to see if it passes the smell test.

Dissolve – reveal