Monthly Archives: March 2010

In the Pines

Another day. Another Wednesday. Right now, the sun is shining. It hasn’t rained today. At least not since I’ve been awake. It was a pleasure to get out of the apartment without an umbrella. Last night was a monsoon though.

I stayed in and watched Lost which while good, was not as good as the previous week which was all about Richard Alpert and not Baba Ram Dass. It was enjoyable. I think Jack will become Jacob and Locke will be the Smoke Monster.

It certainly isn’t a comfortable show, not that it ever was, but with Sayid being an automaton, Sawyer double dealing, Kate hanging with the wrong crew, the Professor & Mary Ann getting it on, it seems a bit much.

6 more episodes left so I guess things should bet getting tied up soon enough. I did read somewhere, the Jacob and the Smoke Monster could be Cain & Abel. Or Thor & Loki. Or some other mythological characters.

After that instead of watching what I’ve usually been watching I watched Lawn Hors d’œuvre Criminal Malcontent. That was odd since Bill wasn’t around when it started at 10PM. It was one of the last episodes with Katheryn Erbe and Vincent D’onofrio.

Quite a surprising turn of events as well. I’d love to write about them here but I don’t want to be a spoiler. For once. Bill came home when there was 15 minutes left. Surprisingly though, Bill did not know that D’onofrio and Erbe would only be on for a few episodes this season, then it’s adios for them.

Off to bed for Bill and I joined him after watching Craig Ferguson. It was cold last night and I had to turn on the heater. We’ve been trying to keep things down. Slept better once it warmed up.

Bill was adorable as he kissed me good bye. I think he asked me what I was doing and all I could say was ‘sleeping’. In other words, ‘I love you but you had better leave me alone right now.’ I did get up a short while later and though the skies were gray I knew it would get better.

I walked around Hoboken, stopped by the Guitar Bar and made some arrangements with Jim to officiate the vows that we will do, more than likely on Saturday morning. In the Guitar Bar. I don’t have anything written and I don’t know if Bill does.

If need be I will have to wing it. Perhaps a belt of Irish whiskey will loosen my tongue beforehand. I could be like my Grandfather and just pour it in my coffee in the morning. Bill’s friend Tom will be our witness and maybe Tom’s wife.

After the Guitar Bar I walked along the riverfront and ran into Tariq, who was playing guitar. We talked for a while, and when he ran off to the bathroom I played his guitar, strumming quick versions of Please Please Me, All My Loving and So It Goes. Tariq was impressed.

I told him since tomorrow is supposed to be a nice day I might bring my guitar out there. He was going to be busking in Central Park with his pal, Steve who was the guy who was singing Sweet Melissa a few weeks ago. They make good money at 59th and Fifth.

Nice tourist spot and with the salt & pepper musicians, the Euro tourists will more than likely drop some cash on them.

I also heard from Pedro today. Always good to hear from him. He was complaining about his hillbilly neighbors and the fact that since he’s been on disability he has cabin fever. I thought I had it bad, but at least I’m in an area where if I needed to or wanted to I could head into the city for whatever.

He’s out there in the sticks and with the weather being what it was the past week or so, he was climbing the walls. So he’s going back to Riker’s Island just to get out of the house.

I think I figured out that when I see guys going home in the mid-afternoon, dressed in a suit & tie, they;re probably coming back from an interview.

Tariq

Tariq


Construction, a few building down the street

Construction, a few building down the street


Half A Person

Tuesday. All is wet. I suppose Lodi is under water. I’ve read a few reports from Pravda, I mean Facebook that their homes and backyards are under water. I have a lot of sympathy for them and for my relatives who might find themselves in the same boat, no pun intended.

And it’s been raining hard today, coming down in sheets. I did make it outside twice. Once to the Guitar Bar where Jim was off so that was a wasted trip, but I was glad to make it outside. I enjoyed a cigar on my stroll. Not too many people out and about and I didn’t mind.

I also stopped by the bibliothèque where I was told something I had ordered was in but they couldn’t find it. I looked at the list online and it was listed as ‘fiction’ which is something I don’t really read. On closer inspection it turned out to be a VI Warshawski book and I’m not a reader of detective stories.

And I didn’t reserve it either so it’s just as well that it wasn’t there.

The past 24 hours have been a good time to be online, at least for me. The Ricky Martin coming out story has had me defending Ricky Martin, which I didn’t mind doing. A lot of gay guys were as usual catty about it, saying things like ‘as if we didn’t know’ and things along those lines.

I found myself on the Huffington Post replying to some person who wrote, ‘Should straight people get a press conference for their sexuality’. It was like a red flag to a bull.

I had to write back, “Why would a press conference for a straight person be necessary? It’s a straight world. Straight ads, movies and TV shows are everywhere. Coming out is not an easy thing to do and people do it in their own time, in their own way. Ricky Martin’s coming out is probably a dinner table discussion and someone somewhere is more than likely mustering up the courage to come out to their friends and/or families.”

Of course it didn’t end there. I re-posted the Huffington Post link onto my Facebook page and got a few responses. One friend, a nice guy, a right winger from Long Island who I know through some Facebook cigar groups had some problems with the whole Ricky Martin story.

Pete is the bloke’s name and we generally butt heads on some issues, but he’s a nice guy with good taste in cigars. He wrote that Ricky Martin was a flash in the pan and here in the US he might have been a one hit wonder, everywhere else in the world he was pretty much top of the pops.

Pete thought George Michael had the right idea, keep making music and not say anything about his sexuality until he was caught soliciting an undercover police officer in a restroom in Hollywood.

Pete replied, “I can respect that. But RM holding a press conference over it makes it seem like he just wanted the attention. Maybe I just see it in a different light because I never really cared about a person’s sexual orientation, only their character as a person. Is it one of those gay things that I wouldn’t understand?”

I had to set Pete straight, no pun intended again. Here is my full reply. Sorry if you read it on Facebook, but not everyone who reads this here blog is on Facebook.

I wrote: He didn’t have a press conference, he published an open letter in 2 newspapers. I think Ricky Martin’s way of coming out is a lot better than getting caught propositioning a police officer in the loo.

And yeah Pete, it is something that most straight people don’t ‘get’. Coming out for most gay people is a terrifying ordeal. I myself was outed at work and the next day, half of my friends were no longer my friend, even though I was still the same guy.

Another friend who is straight, back then was upset that I didn’t trust him enough to tell him directly. It’s a strange position to find yourself in, and with someone with a name like Ricky Martin, it can only help.

Picture a group of friends discussing RM, and one person says something disparaging, and another getting fed up and saying ‘You know what? I’m Gay etc.’ or maybe saying ‘You know what? My brother/sister etc is gay and that’s not cool.’

A similar situation happened to me, but I won’t get into that here.

Ricky Martin puts a friendly face (albeit an extremely handsome face) on being gay, and you know that can’t be bad.

To grow up and realizing you are gay when it flies in the face of this straight world we all reside in creates a feeling of total isolation. It is a reason why there are gay teen suicides. They can’t handle it.

I myself grew up hearing Faggot/Homo jokes around the dining room table, and when I realized what I was it was scary. Was I this freak, this horrible type that my family ridiculed and damned?

I had to live a double life from the age of 14 until I was 22. The terror of being found out forced me to live a lie. Lying to my family and to my friends achieved nothing but loathing and distrust.

I think I got my point across since Pete wrote back:
“Thanks for explaining it to me John. Maybe I won’t ever truly “get it” but I appreciate you giving me a really good explanation and I’m sorry that people that were your friend stopped being your friend over you being gay…that’s sad on their part. After all, as you said, you were the same person the day you were outed as you were the day before.

If it’s any consolation, I’d be more than honored to share a smoke and a drink with you if you’re ever on long island.”

I don’t plan on being on Long Island anytime soon but I like to think I got this one guy to think a little bit differently. So yes, Ricky Martin coming out of the closet is a good thing. A very good thing.

And also to quote Sinead O’Connor- FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY!

NOT THE REAL ENEMY

NOT THE REAL ENEMY


March 30 2010 Photo-0064