Monthly Archives: March 2011

I Forgot To Remember To Forget

Leave a reply

You know, I think it was last week when I wrote how I thought I was settling into my position as sales monkey at the cigar shack? How I felt I was fitting in? How I was resigned to my fate since nothing else seemed to be happening?

Well FUCK ALL THAT SHIT. It’s a good thing I took a Xanax today. No clear reason to, but it turned out to be absolutely necessary. Storms were approaching and I wanted to be prepared for whatever. Also opted to be as mellow as I could be, take the edge off of things.

Blah blah blah, the usual coffee in the morning, cereal, email, resumes sent out and smoking a cigar at the bus stop. A cigar that I started the night before. An absolute no no according to the pussy rules of smoking cigars.

Fuck that. Punk rock style. I don’t need their rules to enjoy my smokes. Fuck using a wooden match or a torch lighter. Fuck using a cutter. I will use whatever I damn well please. Let these nellies get their panties all in a bunch. I don’t give a shit.

I made it into the cigar shack on time once again. There was Calvin and Thomas at the counter, Marcus hovering above the computer in the office. I set about doing my thing, keeping to myself. Thomas has already started doing my tasks which was a bit off putting.

The Bradley is no longer the golden child. Now it is Thomas, who is a nice guy and can actually communicate and doesn’t seem to snort Xanax tablets. Everything seemed to be going nicely though and we all were getting along.

One of the usual customers came in. Let’s call him Nick. Nick usually comes in at the end of the day and he’s so well regarded he’s allowed to sit and smoke in the man cave after it has been shut for the day. And since I’m usually the one who closes, Nick and I have enjoyed some nice chats and generally seem to enjoy each other’s company.

Calvin is an empty shirt, prone to saying ‘exactly’ over and over again and nervously laughing after everything that falls out of Calvin’s mouth. So Nick came in, and I greeted him, expressing surprise that he was earlier than usual.

I took Nick’s bag and placed it on a chair so he would have his usual spot to sit and started to escort him into the humidor when in swoops Calvin and basically takes Nick away from me. Nick sometimes buys a few boxes of cigars, sometimes just a few sticks.

I could never tell, but here comes Calvin who hijacks my customer and winds up selling Nick some items that totaled almost $300.00, leaving me to do absolutely nothing. It really pissed me off and I realized once again I have to get out of this hell hole of a shop.

A hell hole where they quite a corporate handbook which no one has ever really seen. I’ve given up on my cousins helping me out jobwise. Perhaps I’m unqualified for any positions, perhaps there aren’t any positions, perhaps they’ve forgotten. I’ve never asked them for anything before and I doubt if I ever will again.

I’ve learned my lessons. I have got to get out of this place as soon as possible and will take a part time job if that’s my only alternative. Not going to be easy but it will sure beat having to listen to some asshole saying ‘exactly’ dozens of times throughout the day.
For Calvin’s birthday.

The Megan Marshack look is coming back.


I Feel That I’ve Known You Forever

2 Replies

And it was back to work for me today. Woke up feeling a bit depressed about that but still I gathered whatever wits I had and set about starting the day. Shuffled into the kitchen, made coffee, poured cereal and then hopped into the shower.

A shave was also needed since I hadn’t shaved in a few days and whatever hairs that used to come in reddish were now coming in a whiter shade of pale. Some coffee and cereal and soon I was getting into my suit and tie while checking emails and sending out resumes, which also brought me down somewhat.

I was headed on the street to the bibliothèque and dropped off a Madonna CD, Ray of Light as well as the DVD of Louis CK , Hilarious. Bill and I watched Louis CK last night and it was raunchy and funny.

I listened to the audio rather than watching the video and it reminded me of being driven home by my neighbor, Barbara Williams from Harcourt Brace & Jovanovich and listening to a Steve Martin comedy album on 8 track. Some visual bits were left to the imagination, like the balloon animals and perhaps the arrow through the head.

Barbara and I grew up together and worked together for a few months. I was closer to Barbara’s little brother Scott than I was to Barbara, but I did have a bit of a crush on her though she was usually indifferent to me and also a year older than me.

Bill went to bed after Louis CK and I created a playlist for Madonna on my iPod. I’ve been infatuated with the Madonna song Ray of Light lately and that brings back a memory of living at 127 Jane Street with William and as I climbed the stairs I could hear Ray of Light being played loudly.

I timed it perfectly that I walked through the door just as Ms. Ciccone sins, ‘And I feel, like I just got home.. .’

And I played the Madonna playlist today. Just some of my favorite songs by Madge. Borderline, Lucky Star, Into the Groove, Express Yourself were just a few. It didn’t seem to bother anyone really and it was perverse for me to play them. Guilty pleasures etc.

The work day wasn’t so bad, it was Calvin and the Bradley mainly with Marcus flitting in and out throughout the day.

Strange things just happened. As I’ve been writing tonight, I kept getting frozen out of Microsoft word. I would have to force the program closed and then save it and then reopen it. After a restart everything seems OK now. But my train of thought has left the station.

My Friend My Friend came in today. Always good to see him. He’s basically a good guy, smart as well. We chatted for a few minutes, longer than we had in the past couple of weeks. He’s busy, I’m busy, but still it was good to connect with him. He also reads this here blog every now and then, perhaps the only customer to the cigar shack that knows about this here blog.

That’s about it. Not much more to write. Feels like a Monday, but it’s only a Friday. Funny how that happens. Once again I am out of step with everyone else. Marching to the beat of a broken down drum machine, which I like since the sounds that come out of it are so crazy.

Good crazy, not Bala Cynwyd crazy. You know how it goes. And that’s the way that it goes. Downhill. Cause you got the best of me.

06 Qu’ran