Monthly Archives: January 2006

Hudson Line

“I grew up in a bakery town. Some grow up in factory towns, but not me. Bakery town all the way. I guess you could say I have flour in my blood. When I am kneading bread, it’s like a bit of heaven in my hands. I grew up on the floor of the bakery that my great grandfather founded a long time ago.”

“I would take whatever pieces of dough that fell to the floor and try to make little statues, and then bake them on top of the ovens. Not for consumption since they were on the floor originally. One of them even made the news for a few days when it was displayed in the window. It looked like a baked Pieta. It was on the news and people descended onto the sidewalk to pray in front of what essentially was a holy pretzel.”

“That happened frequently at the time, all over the place. Images of Christ or the Virgin Mary were turning up everywhere. It was reported that a few miles away from the bakery that on a urinal cake, an image of the Virgin Mary appeared in a bowling alley men’s room.”

“It was sacrilegious to some but these deity’s just pop up wherever they want to. Underneath highway overpasses, where despite the smell of piss, the Virgin appeared in condensation. At some public housing where Jesus on the cross had quite the roving eye.”

“As I got older I tried to create a sideline in my family’s bakery business and start creating and baking religious icons and events for sale and consumption. We initially started off on the wrong foot when I was served an injunction by Pepperidge Farms for our Loaves and Fishes line. It seemed our fish looked a little too much like Pepperidge’s Goldfish. ”

“That almost finished us, but I brainstormed and came up with Jesus curing a leper with grains of salt strategically placed on the leper’s body. It was a hit. I decided to expand on the theme and had a series of collectable edibles. One surprise hit was from the Historical Events line. Lincoln’s Assassination by Booth was gigantic. ”

“Things were going too well though. Pride comes before a fall, and I was feeling too proud. My downfall was inevitable. Terror by the name of Mr. Salty. Nabisco was following our progress very closely and felt that both Lincoln and Booth as well as a few other characters from history and the bible resembled Mr. Salty.”

“It was true they did. But I had figured that Mr. Salty had retired. It was rumored that he was hiding out in a remote cabin in the woods. I neglected to find out whether or not this was true, or even to see if Mr. Salty was alive. Oh he was alive and well and filled with his salt enencrusted anger.”

“He shut us down. I was perhaps a little too cocky. I had no idea that Mr. Salty was now the CEO of Nabisco. It was said that he was also getting involved with armaments, specifically for the Navy.”

“We surrendered everything. The took all that and more. I was glad the whole thing was over. ”

“I went back and sat on the floor of the family bakery for a few days, not eating, not speaking. Eventually I came to my senses and started baking again. I have decided to elevate baking to an art form. I don’t know what’s next, but it should be controversial. I am currently negotiating to have an exhibition at a well known gallery with my latest, life size edible collectables.”

“So keep an eye out.”

Going Down To Liverpool

A wonderful night with Bill translated into a wonderful morning with Bill. I bought the bagels, he bought the eggs. We got it like that. He had to drive this afternoon and soon after he left, as I was doing some washing, I was seized by inertia. Well not really. I spent a few hours watching The Tin Drum on DVD. I had it for a few weeks from Netflix and felt it was time to finally watch.

I heard a lot about it and it was mainly true what I heard. Great story, great acting, ultimately sad. It is about World War 2, the big one. The war my father flew in over Italy and quite possibly had a nervous breakdown during. Keep in mind psychiatric help was not an option for middle class Joes in the late 40’s.

A great part of that generation saw atrocities, killed people, were almost killed themselves, and were sent home hopefully intact and told to resume their lives. Of course this would be next to impossible after all they had been through. So they reentered the work force and set about drinking, procreating and not talking about what they had seen and done.

That might unleash tears and tears simply would not do for that crowd. I’ve known a few people whose fathers had served in the war, and basically it all sounds the same, abusive alcoholics with a tenuous grip on reality. Organizations like the American Legion and the VFW sprouted up enabling these guys and their wives a shelter from reality and some cheap drinks.

I was one of a bunch of children that spent quite a few weekend afternoons in the dark basement of Post 3484 watching our fathers and occasionally mothers get their drink on. Some of us were drafted into the Junior Rifle Squad, something that I wrote about earlier and don’t want to rehash.

Now, most of these veterans have passed away, I think 10 years ago it was at a rate of maybe 1000 a day. The ones that are still vertical tend to vote right wing regardless of what the right wing maybe doing, either cutting their benefits or sending their grandchildren off to war. The my country right or wrong set. If their grandchildren come back there is a definite chance that the new veterans won’t have the same benefits that their grandfathers had.

And still they vote against their better interests. To me that is complimenting the artistry on the knife as it is about to slit your throat. The world is a dangerous place, very messy and getting messier by the day, or perhaps even by the minute.

With Bush still exploiting 9/11, doing whatever he seems to damn well please, this country is the biggest mess of all. Thousands still displaced by Katrina, and the majority of people are just so damn tired of hearing about that. The economy is fucked, Ford motors are laying off 30,000 people over the next couple of years, and I can’t forget the anti-gay backlash that just won’t go away. There is the pump and dump plan going on against Microsoft for their support of equal rights and benefits for the gay people employed in Washington State, instigated by a preacher out there in Washington.

How did this idiot get to be in charge of this country? I know how, but really, HOW? Why don’t people see that they are pushing and supporting plans for a Theocracy while saying they’re against Theocracies in the Middle East?

To end on a bittersweet note, Ocean County freeholders decided to allow the $13,000 pension from Laurel Hester to Stacie Andree, her domestic partner.

Here’s a link about that.

And here’s a picture of NYC from this afternoon.