Daily Archives: January 18, 2006

I’ll Be Your Mirror

Fell asleep to the rain last night, woke up later than usual and didn’t panic. No running around ala Dagwood Bumstead. If that were so, Bill would be Blondie, and I don’t really see him fitting into those tight dresses. He’s never done drag before either.

I did once. Susan Sher popped over to Jane Street and with blood shot eyes applied make up. I think I looked rather grotesque. There were some photographs but they are lost to the ages I hope. When I grow my hair long, shoulder length, I look like a lesbian. So I wear my hair short now. Mod-like. Or so I would like to believe.

I tried to get dreadlocks in the nineties. I was in my Rasta phase, Rasta Johnny, as I was known then. I was growing my hair long and hanging out with the Dreads, so it seemed like the thing to do. I fancied myself looking like the singer from the Wolfgang Press, a handsome white dude with great cheekbones and immaculate hair.

That was going to be me. Somewhere I bought a tin of bees wax and set about applying and twisting my hair into dreads. It was summertime. I tried it for a few weeks, when I noticed I had an itchy rash all over my body. The dreads weren’t taking and I looked rather dorkish.

Being it was summer and my hair is quite thick, I felt the dreads were never going to happen. It was very hot out, and I decided to chop it all off. Mostly. I got a really tight fade. Within a day the rash disappeared. I think I was allergic to bees wax.

Tonight while walking through Hoboken I passed a woman I used to work with, Lorraine Schwartz. We worked together at Take One Video in the early 90’s. Unbeknownst to everyone, including myself, I was over indulging in various substances. I was also giving away the store to various bartenders and barflies. Of course I got caught and of course I got fired. Not my best moment.

Passing by Lorraine this evening I realized that bridge was burned a long time ago. In fifteen years or so, she’s the only one I’ve ever seen. And Hoboken is a small town. I do regret doing what I had did, and though it’s no excuse but the owner was heavily involved in his own powdered abuse. He eventually got busted for bootlegging videos, and now is a fireman in town. I hope to never cross paths with him. I remember when he was firing me, he was stroking his face with a letter opener telling me how he was going to call the cops but decided against it.

It wasn’t me best moment, but being it was 1991 and the year had taken a disastrous turn, I lost control of a lot of things. Mostly my integrity. It took me a while to get at least some of that back, thanks to good friends that I am fortunate enough to accumulate. These friends have stood by me through thick and thin. Some know me well enough that they can tell something is going on with me by the sound of my voice.

When they ask, ‘What’s up’, I usually say, ‘Nothing’. They know that if they hang in there all will be revealed in about ten minutes. Bill is starting to get that concept as well. Like I said, I am fortunate to have them in my life.

I am also fortunate with the fact that they don’t read this.