Skyscraper dream. I had a dream last night. I was on the upper floors of a very high skyscraper. I have a fear of heights which was haunting the edges of the dream. I dropped an egg from such a height that could have been fatal if it hit someone. I believe the dream evolved to where later a laser net was set up to either slice an egg or some other object so as not to kill or maim anyone.

It was an interesting dream and not very relaxing. The skyscraper might have been around where the Garden State Plaza used to be. It was enough to wake me up and get out of bed 10 minutes before the scheduled time.

At the major fruit stand today everything is quiet which is pleasant but I still struggle with passwords which irks Yancey to no end. It’s slow and Violet has been doing most of the heavy lifting.

Bill is on the road again. He’s due back tomorrow. Mike is at his crib. It’s a good summer afternoon. Not much time to write and as usual I am all thumbs.

The password shuffle though. Last time at the major fruit stand I thought I had set things up for my next visit. But the way things go, nothing really worked this morning. In fact things are still going slowly. Thankfully there was not much picking at the fruit stand today which is a relief.

But it does make time go slowly and for the past half hour it’s slow enough for it to be five minutes. Violet and I do get along which is nice. I get along with my co-workers, my team. And even Yancy who leads the team. There is also the Friday morning meeting which I have to attend and that’s not so bad considering…
Before I left, I overheard that I would be leaving the little fruit stand that I love for the major fruit stand, which gives me anxiety.

Right now I am hungry and thinking about what to have for dinner. Do I want to cook? What’s ready to eat? I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which is still in my bag. It’s not going to go bad anytime soon and I am thinking about eating it when I get home. I’ve done it before.

But a dessert of sorts is required and I have no idea what to do about that. I can get something on my wway home, perhaps something from the supermarket. Or there is that cookie shop that Bill is fond of.

I do have to go to the cigar shop since I gave my last small cigar to Tony, the guy who manages the cleaning crew at the major fruit stand. Cigars are our common thing and he always brings them up whenever he sees me.

57 minutes left to go. I played most of Sandinista by the Clash today while Violet was having her lunch. When it was my turn for lunch, I set up 1980’s R&B hits, which are innocuous enough. I played Sandinista most of the day on Monday at my fruit stand and while I was riding on Sunday, a guitar riff played in my head which I figured out was a song from Sandinista. I think Sandinista is a good Sunday record.

And I could use a nap right now.

Yesterday was not a bad day. It was quiet. Everything has been nice at the fruit stand. Not much was going on and that was fine. No complaints, as far as I know. None from me at least. I can’t say there were any about me, but I wouldn’t know.

Bill and I did our thing last night, just watching TV, being boring which we like. I slept OK last night, though the night before I had the dehydration headache. But not last night. A trip to the bathroom was expected and accomplished.

When I woke up with the alarm clock, I decided I needed a day off. A mental health day. When I dad dinner with the counselor who placed me at the fruit stand along with other fruit stand employees, the counselor mentioned that we have a PTO which stands for Personal Time Off.

And so I took a PTO. When I attempted to do so in the past, I was usually hit by a wave of guilt, so much so that I would actually go to the office later in the day. Granted I would say I wasn’t feeling well, and had gotten better.

But today was not that. No guilt. More rain was expected today and I did not want to deal with that, not after getting a thorough soaking on Saturday afternoon. Bill had his errands to run as I fixed up some coffee for myself.

So much bad news, a steady current of bad news and it does take some effort to avoid it. I admit there is a social media addiction which causes the stress levels to rise and allows some depression to creep through.

I was able to not look at those things, most concerned L’Orange Merde and that piece of shit is everywhere.

While Bill was on his way out, I made my own way for my errands. A stop at the cigar store where I saw Imram who was having his lunch. The cigar shop is not doing so well and he’s taken to being a delivery man for people’s food orders after his shift at the cigar shop. He has that immigrant work ethic and I have the spoiled work ethic of needing a mental health day.

The rain was approaching, pushing forward a front of humidity. No breezes, just thick, warm air.

I walked to the supermarket again, this time a lot drier than Saturday. The supermarket was easy enough, I bought things I forgot on Saturday as well as things that I noticed that I needed since then. The walk home was easy going.

I walked through the streets where the St. Ann’s Feast were setting up for the upcoming events. Mike really wants to go and wants Bill to join us, so that is what is planned for the weekend, probably Saturday night.

Tomorrow I will be stationed at the main fruit stand. There is the usual apprehension but I think I have a good grip on it. It’s mainly from working alone at the fruit stand I am usually at, dealing with a handful of people to dealing with maybe a hundred people at the main fruit stand.

And in the back of my mind, there is what Jimmy Chile calls the evil Jiminy Cricket telling me that I am not up to snuff and that I am going to be let go. Evil Jiminy Cricket pops up every now and then, saying variations of the same thing, but I am still there though for today, I am here.

And of course, it’s raining again.