May | 2012 | johnozed

Today was a day from purgatory. Not heaven, nor hell, but that place in the middle according to catholic doctrine. Very convenient. The phone and voice mail fiasco continued last night. I was apprehensive to come home last night, rather than deal with Bill and whatever mood he might have been in after his day and mine. And sure enough he was in not much of a mood, very subdued. I was quite subdued too. But he only stayed awake for a few minutes, giving me a perfunctory kiss good night which I reciprocated.

I stayed up some more, watched some TV and eventually went to bed. But I made a point of kissing Bill’s sleeping head before I fell asleep. Had an interesting dream about Julio and I meeting up in an 99 cent shop on Main Street in Lodi. It was a weird dream which featured the old Lodi that I grew up in.

I woke up about an hour earlier than usual, surprised to find Bill gone, surprised there was no farewell kiss. I walked to the bathroom and sent him a text saying that I missed him and would call him when I got to the cigar shack area. No phone call while waiting for the bus, still I texted him, telling him I missed him.

When I got to the cigar shack area, I called him and got a voice mail stating that he would be away from his desk from 9:00 to about 4:15, attending some function that his law firm was having. I suppose this was his way of showing me how I send people to Siberia, and now it was my turn, as if my father never did that to me. I guess 8 years really didn’t count hanging out with Solzhenitsyn.

The man cave at the cigar shack was still shut down, Jerry Vale came in early to allow some guys to crawl through the vents to see if they were open and operating properly. They seemed to be on our end but also needed to check out a neighbor’s vent. So Jerry Vale called the neighbor who flatly refused a 10 minute look see to check on the input and outputs. So the man cave was closed and sales had dropped considerably.

Zack would be tearing his hair out in the office but Zack is bald so there is nothing to pull out. Lawyers are now involved. The cigar shack lawyers, the neighbor’s lawyer and the landlord’s lawyers. It is now officially complicated.

And on another level, I still haven’t heard from the rival cigar shack that I met with. Thanks Freddy Herko. I try to remain hopeful and via a Woody Allen paraphrase, quoting Emily Dickinson, ‘Hope is the thing with feathers’. I am losing feathers. Even Jimmy Seltzer helped with a bolstering of spirits but those reserves are dwindling. Tomorrow is a day off so I am greatly looking forward to it.

It was sweet, both Thomas and Jerry Vale seemed concerned for my well being.

driving and texting

more driving and texting

11 Searchin’

It happens often. I call someone who is unavailable and leave a voicemail. I usually say “don’t call back, I’ll call you later”. 9 times out of 10 they call back. I am guilty of this too. Just had terse words with Bill. I use a hands free headset and as I am putting it away after leaving a voice mail- he calls. It’s raining, my hands are full with phone, ipod, and umbrella looking for shelter. It’s love and it’s frustrating.

I call him almost daily on my walk from the apartment to the bus stop. I get the voice mail and leave a message telling him not to call back, I would call when I am in the city. I unplug the hands free headset I use for the phone, put it away and plug in my headphones for the iPod, all the time smoking a cigar and using an umbrella while striding to the bus stop.

Of course, Bill calls at an inopportune moment, asking if I would be interested in going with him to his high school reunion in June. It’s a 30 year reunion and he liked his classmates. I am exasperated of course and probably a little bit snotty. I explain the situation that I don’t know if I can get that time off or if there will be time to have off.

I try to recover and make light of the situation but by this time Bill isn’t having it. The call ends abruptly. I make my way up to the cigar shack, on the way I get cut off by a delivery guy on a bicycle who knocks my smoke out of my hand. He apologises and I just keep walking. I make my way to the cigar shack in the drizzle and text Bill, telling him I am going to run an errand and I will call him back.

Apparently he still doesn’t like the fact, after 12 years, that I am not a morning person. We talk as I do the errand and he suggests taking a Xanax, to use the tools I have at hand since he is fed up with me and the way I am in the morning. I try to end the call on an up note but whether or not I hit that register, or whether Bill heard it it remains to be seen.

I did suggest earlier during the initial call that maybe we can talk about the high school reunion when I get home tonight. That is, if Bill is still awake. I get to the cigar shack and notice it really seems smoky and smells like cigars. Now normally it doesn’t since the cigar shack has a very good ventilation system going, but apparently not this morning.

Since I have been persona non grata lately I try to stay out of sight, keep my head down and do some work work work. So the man cave had to be closed which drove down sales, but I did spectacular. Just looking for a team to play for.

Oh and Bradley was upset since I questioned the fact that he had a sense of humor or any sense at all. He doesn’t. He can be quite hilarious but that hasn’t happened in a few months.

Charisma eczema. For some reason, I remember asking my sister in the 1970’s after hearing an advert on the radio about reminiscing how in the 1960’s, everybody had charisma. I asked my sister what charisma was and she told me it was a skin disease.

01 El Camisón De Pepa (Pepa’s Dress)