Monthly Archives: March 2011

I Got Lucky

Another day at the cigar shack and here I am getting an early start on writing. Not much else to do. I did the right thing this morning and did a Xanax before I came in. It’s felt great and there has been no need to desire to punch anyone in the face.

I slept well last night, thanks to some jazzy cigarettes. Watched Bill Maher last night and it was more annoying than anything. Bill did make it home and I got the hug I was looking for and then proceeded o tell him about the day that I had.

He was tired but understanding and listened to every word which was exactly what I needed. The we watched part of The Laughing Policeman before Bill went to bed. I stayed up and watched footage of the disaster in Japan, which to me looked like animation. Just a mass of mud and sea water sweeping trucks and cars away with just a wave of Mother Nature’s hand.

And the day today was not as bad as it was yesterday. The boys seem to be on their best behavior but then again I seem to be on Xanax. Things will slow down considerably in 20 minutes when the man cave shuts down. That wouldn’t be so bad after all. And that is definitely the Xanax talking.

Still the occasional asshole wanders in but thanks to the Xanax, its water down a duck’s back. Tomorrow I will be working with the Poacher Calvin. Now we are listening to Prince Sign of the Times. We listened to Stevie Wonder’s Innervisions. And also Billie Holiday’s Greatest Hits which is what the Boy Wonder Thomas requested the past few days and I remembered to bring it in for him.

He’s going to borrow it so I guess he will burn himself his own copy. Sorry Lady Day, but you know how it is. And the Boy Wonder Thomas messed up a few times today. I don’t know if it was pride but something prevented him from asking for help, leaving me to clean up the messes after he had left.

I like the Boy Wonder Thomas, he’s a nice guy, has a good sense of humor and seems to be a born salesman. I don’t know how he does it but he’s been number one or at least number two in sales.

Where in February I was told my numbers were impressive, now my numbers are anemic and pathetic. I expect to hear something about it sooner or later. And the Xanax this morning was definitely a good idea, though by the end of the day it wore off somewhat.

I didn’t have the homicidal urges that I had yesterday but still there was a modicum of frustration to deal with and that was mainly the Boy Wonder Thomas’ mistakes, making me leave the cigar shack about 20 minutes later than I would have.

Street Fighting Man, Gimme Shelter, Satisfaction, The Last Time and Jumping Jack Flash got me to the bus terminal in 18 minutes, no frantic stomping thanks to the Xanax. Now I am home, I am happy and I am not writing tomorrow, but I am working with the poacher. Have a good Sunday.



I Got A Feeling In My Body

Once again, I am writing this at work. The camera will see me at the computer, but since I am not online per se, it really shouldn’t matter. I could always say I am sharpening my typing skills. So far no typos either which is out of the ordinary.

It’s been an interesting day to say the least. First off it was Calvin free (‘exactly’), but nervous laughter happens to most everyone sometimes and I’ve noticed the Thomas does it too. Bill does it as well but of course with Bill, I find it endearing.

And the day started with waking up to the terrible news of the earthquake off the coast of Japan. 8.9! Crazy. Not so much levity on the Today show, they were somewhat solemn. But the footage was intense. Houses, trucks and cars being swept away by the tsunami, like so many toys strewn across a floor.

Hundreds missing, perhaps swept out to sea. I couldn’t help but think that the time will come soon enough for an earthquake to strike this tri-state area. And of course that was on my mind most of the morning.

Waiting for the bus, keeping an eye on the birds since I heard that they will all take off, animals will start behaving strangely right before an earthquake. I waited for the Hoboken Daily News building to start swaying. And then it was a ride through the Lincoln Tunnel where I was sure it was going to collapse.

Then a walk through the bus terminal, followed by the subway where I was sure I was going to be in the real life version of the movie of the week from the 1970’s, where an earthquake struck Manhattan leaving passengers in the tunnels and for some reason they had to get across the East River, to Brooklyn.

I would be playing the Karen Valentine part, or the troubled boy with a junkie dog. Or more than likely, Karen Valentine playing the junkie dog.

When I got to the building I called Bill as is my wont, and he told me not to kill anyone at the cigar shack. And I hadn’t thought about that as I stood outside the glass towers that house the cigar shack. But it threw me off and I didn’t recognize Bill trying to cheer me up.

I am so not a morning person, but I would probably be more of a better morning person if I had a better job. But here I am stuck in a cigar shack and not liking it. I used to think it would be the best job since I do enjoy cigars, and maybe it is at other cigar shops, just not this one.

I apologized a few times to Bill, for being such a neurotic bitch and he accepted, in fact he knows it comes with the territory. He loves me despite the fact that a lot of the time I do not love myself. Make that most of the time.

And Bill has been good at greeting me at the door when I come home, offering hugs, taking my bag off my shoulder. Tonight when I need it most, for real since I feel like I am thisclose to breaking down, he’s not around. And I suppose that’s alright since with the mood I am in, I wouldn’t want to see me either.

I did run into Hyman Gross on the bus once more. He tried to cheer me up after I stomped my way down the avenue in 16 minutes 30 seconds from the cigar shop to the bus terminal. Listened to the Sex Pistols, from Holidays in the Sun to halfway through God Save the Queen.

By the time I saw Hyman I was still in no mood despite his efforts. On the bus Hyman chatted up a young woman with a pillow that had I Love You embroidered on it. I avoided eye contact with everyone and did not pay attention to their conversation. I was probably the best for all concerned.

I do need a hug, or rather I did need a hug, but the moment has passed and now I am home, alone.