Daily Archives: December 19, 2007

Even The Losers

Let’s see, where did I leave off last night? I was angry and a bit drunk, yes that seems right. Angry because I was told that the holiday bonus wouldn’t be given out until the second or third week in January. Ok, that would be a pain in the ass, but it would be doable. Not what I was expecting but apparently, that’s how they do things at BI-BOI. The luncheon that I arranged turned out to be a success and I was toasted by my superiors, which is everyone in the company. Of course I was sitting next to the fast talking cynic, Shemp Howard, and I don’t think he toasted my planning the luncheon. Not that I cared. As successful as it was and everyone else had a good time, I just sat there, ate and drank and didn’t really talk to anyone since everyone was talking about the deals they’ve been working on and I don’t know anything about their deals or bio-technology.

But I carried on being a team player and all. Even went to the after party which was even less fun, staying for two pints before leaving and dealing with the reality that whatever plans I had for the money were going to be held up. I obviously wasn’t too happy about that and I made my way through the holiday crowds, past people in Santa hats going to their parties, smiling and laughing, me with a grimace on my face. I spoke to Carla the receptionist and we made plans to meet up at the Carnegie Club where I was invited for a cigar holiday party. I dressed for that event this morning but as I settled in at work this morning, I felt uneasy and texted Carla letting her know I wasn’t feeling too good. She was cool about it and we made plans for next week instead.

Still felt uneasy as I did my work half heartedly. I decided to leave work early today since it was the last place I wanted to be at that moment. I spoke with Tom Chin, who is unhappy with my work and asked him if the company gives out end of the year bonuses. His reply? They give out bonuses in the spring. Maybe February or March. I thought I’d be able to hang in there until January but now it’s springtime? I was the living embodiment of being crestfallen and I walked out the office very upset and internalizing it all. Yes I was very pissed off but what can I do? Nothing at all. Last year I screwed myself out of a bonus by doing the right thing and it took a while to recover from that, the year before that I got half of what my assistant got for a bonus. I guess I should resign myself to the fact that I won’t be getting a bonus this year. Sure I’ll still go into work and do whatever they want me to do, but I won’t be too happy about it.

The only bonus I can expect will be from working at Farfetched this weekend. That’s something to look forward to. I ran into Julio last night as he was running around. He and Stine are flying to Denmark tonight for the holidays. He called me last night, he had a present for me but didn’t want to feel awkward since he didn’t have anything for Bill so he asked me to stop by his apartment on the way to work this morning. I did and he gave me a really nice pair of headphones for my iPod. They are nice, not my style though. They are in the ear buds basically. Form fitting so they fit in the ear canal comfortably. The thing is, when you put them in your ears, unless you have music playing, you can hear every breath you take (not the Police song) and every step you take (not the Bobby Brown song) which is unnerving. They are nice though.

I have to wear them around Hoboken so in case I run into Julio and Stine they can see I’m using the earphones. They try so hard to get me something. Last year they got me the Beatles LOVE cd, which I had gotten a few weeks earlier from Annemarie, Rex and Earl, so I don’t want to let them down. They’ll be back on January 7, so until then I can go back to using the really good headphones with volume control on the cable, that I bought last week from Radio Shack, back when I thought I’d have money coming in. I do love Julio and Stine and I thank them very much for the present.