Yet another in a series of lazy Sundays it seems. Bill went out and got the papers and the bagels and I have not left the apartment at all today. Not for any particular reason, just felt like staying in. Bill went to the gym and came back and all we’ve been doing is hanging out, watching TV.

I had Bill turn on his favorite movie, or one of them “Mr. Holland’s Opus” decent movie. Bill gets very moved by it. I thought I was the only blubberer. My movies that are blubberific are lately, “In America”, “Grave of the Fireflies”, and “To Kill a Mockingbird”.

West Side Story is a movie that gets me too. I always hold out the hope that Tony and Maria will finally get away. Spoiler alert: Of course they don’t get away. They marry and divorce and stay in the West Side to this day.

Speaking of Blubber, a few years ago while riding through Central Park, Julio and I had separated while cycling and we were supposed to meet up at the rock. I had ridden my bike in front of a runner by about 10 feet. Crossed his path. Of course he thought I was going to hit him, but that wasn’t my intention, so I didn’t.

I kept riding as he stood there cursing me. I flipped him the bird and rode over to the rock where me and various friends usually hang out while cycling or listening to Summerstage shows. He came running up to me screaming about, ‘How dare I cut him off like that?’ I said I didn’t cut him off, there was a wide enough space to accommodate both of us. He insisted that I almost hit him, and by that point I wished I had.

He started calling me fat, that I was, and I quote verbatim, “An insult to blubber!!!”
Whatever that meant. He had an accent which sounded vaguely British so I said, “Fuck off you limey bastard!”. He was insulted, screaming that he wasn’t British, he was from South Africa.

Then he started going off on how he runs for a living. I couldn’t resist. I said, “If you run for a living, why the hell are you standing here? Get to work!” Left him at a loss for words, almost speechless. Almost. Every time he’d say something I’d just say, “Get to work lazy ass”.

He finally sputtered his last and ran off.

Julio showed up a few minutes later.

An insult to blubber. I asked Julio if he knew what that was supposed to mean. “I think he was saying that you are fat. Which you’re not. You could lose a few pounds and get in shape, but you’re not fat” Nice of him to say, but he didn’t exactly use those words.

I agreed. The runner was high strung and nuts. I of course was cool, calm and collected. Julio raised an interesting point. Why does this happen when he’s not around? Or when anyone else is around? I wish I had an answer. I don’t. These things happen though.