Monthly Archives: January 2006

Born Under Punches (the heat goes on)

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Bill is on the mend. I’ll say it again, Bill is on the mend. Today was ok for me, not the best, nor the worst. Merely a day that I will never see the likes of again. Fine by me, no hard feelings. No big deal either.

A stupid day. It was also a fun day. Work was dumb as usual, usual ratchet faces screwing about. Had a plan to have some cigars at a cigar bar with an auditor from a company that is auditing the monkey heads I work for. I’ve hung out with one auditor, Dante who is really cool. Former marine, happily married and the father of what seems to be a two year old.

If he wasn’t 2 of those things I’d be erotically interested, but he’s a good guy to have some drinks and some cigars with. He was with another auditor and a friend, all from Los Angeles. The plan to go to Club Macanudo, sight of a romantic Valentine’s Day way back when, was waylaid when Dante’s friend Jim, all 6’8” of him wore jeans and could not gain admission. Dress code nonsense. So we strolled across town, skirting Central Park, headed for the Carnegie Club.

They granted us admission, Dante, his partner David and Dante’s friend Jim. We sat down, the club somewhat crowded, a nice spot in Manhattan where people can smoke. If you want to smoke a cigar, you’d best be prepared to buy an over priced cigar since they have to have a certain percentage of tobacco sales in order to qualify for Cigar Bar status.

They all ordered Scotch and wines, I had a Heineken. I picked out a La Gloria Cubana, made in the Dominican Republic of course, Dante had a Padron, and David had a Hyde Park. Jim wasn’t smoking, but not judging or complaining either. It was a lot of fun, I was being funny, and they were laughing. That’s what means a lot of fun to me.

I was being myself, which for once, wasn’t such a bad thing. I can be such a raconteur. We talked about Wanker Banker and I gave some witty thumbnail sketches on some of the personalities they had interviewed. I don’t think any laws were broken, compliance-wise.

It was more like, “oh that guy who we interviewed today, hostile and belligerent” Oh that must be, Klaus Strychnine. Looks like Pugsley Addams. “Yes! That’s it! I told you he looked like someone!”

We also talked about movies, I being the only one who saw Brokeback Mountain, had them in tears after my synopsis and they wound up making major contributions to Marriage Equality and Lambda Legal.

Jim was meeting his girlfriend, and Dante and David decided to get some dinner. I opted for Bokeyland, to see Bill who is almost 100% back to health. Got 2 crappy slices on Washington Street and walked home playing the remastered Remain In Light by Talking Heads.

Can’t seem to get past side A though.

Had most of the crappy slices and talked on the phone with Rand who is busy with work. Had a talk with Bill about Valentine’s Day, and the ghost of the past year or so. We recognize the ghost and wrestle with it, bite it, kick it, and try to heal from the wounds it has inflicted on us. So it’s battle with the intangible but with feelings involved. He gets hurt, I get hurt, we question.

We’re almost at 100% back. We are on the mend.

I’ll Be Your Mirror

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Fell asleep to the rain last night, woke up later than usual and didn’t panic. No running around ala Dagwood Bumstead. If that were so, Bill would be Blondie, and I don’t really see him fitting into those tight dresses. He’s never done drag before either.

I did once. Susan Sher popped over to Jane Street and with blood shot eyes applied make up. I think I looked rather grotesque. There were some photographs but they are lost to the ages I hope. When I grow my hair long, shoulder length, I look like a lesbian. So I wear my hair short now. Mod-like. Or so I would like to believe.

I tried to get dreadlocks in the nineties. I was in my Rasta phase, Rasta Johnny, as I was known then. I was growing my hair long and hanging out with the Dreads, so it seemed like the thing to do. I fancied myself looking like the singer from the Wolfgang Press, a handsome white dude with great cheekbones and immaculate hair.

That was going to be me. Somewhere I bought a tin of bees wax and set about applying and twisting my hair into dreads. It was summertime. I tried it for a few weeks, when I noticed I had an itchy rash all over my body. The dreads weren’t taking and I looked rather dorkish.

Being it was summer and my hair is quite thick, I felt the dreads were never going to happen. It was very hot out, and I decided to chop it all off. Mostly. I got a really tight fade. Within a day the rash disappeared. I think I was allergic to bees wax.

Tonight while walking through Hoboken I passed a woman I used to work with, Lorraine Schwartz. We worked together at Take One Video in the early 90’s. Unbeknownst to everyone, including myself, I was over indulging in various substances. I was also giving away the store to various bartenders and barflies. Of course I got caught and of course I got fired. Not my best moment.

Passing by Lorraine this evening I realized that bridge was burned a long time ago. In fifteen years or so, she’s the only one I’ve ever seen. And Hoboken is a small town. I do regret doing what I had did, and though it’s no excuse but the owner was heavily involved in his own powdered abuse. He eventually got busted for bootlegging videos, and now is a fireman in town. I hope to never cross paths with him. I remember when he was firing me, he was stroking his face with a letter opener telling me how he was going to call the cops but decided against it.

It wasn’t me best moment, but being it was 1991 and the year had taken a disastrous turn, I lost control of a lot of things. Mostly my integrity. It took me a while to get at least some of that back, thanks to good friends that I am fortunate enough to accumulate. These friends have stood by me through thick and thin. Some know me well enough that they can tell something is going on with me by the sound of my voice.

When they ask, ‘What’s up’, I usually say, ‘Nothing’. They know that if they hang in there all will be revealed in about ten minutes. Bill is starting to get that concept as well. Like I said, I am fortunate to have them in my life.

I am also fortunate with the fact that they don’t read this.