June | 2012 | johnozed

Well tomorrow is Sunday, June 10. It is the day of the Sounds of Hoboken. I will be participating with Rand as the Art Hams. The first time we have played together in 25 years. It all started the day I bought a Fender acoustic guitar from Jim Mastro, back in the day when Jim Mastro worked at We Buy Guitars. I was quite the Bongos fan then and thought it extra special to buy a guitar from a Bongo. Fred Smith from Television worked alongside Jim back then but I got more of a thrill from Jim. Fred I found intimidating.

I was working at 1700 Broadway and after work my co-workers and I went to McGee’s Bar across the street where they had a guitarist playing songs. Somehow I was prodded into getting on stage and playing along badly to ‘Dirty Old Town’, written by Ewan MacColl and around that time, famously covered by the Pogues. I heard it dozens of times on the jukebox but when it came time to play, I froze and did not know the chords and could barely remember the words. Then for some reason I forsook the guitar and sang Patsy Cline’s ‘Walking After Midnight’, which I did know the words to.

After leaving McGee’s I caught the bus to Hoboken and stopped at Maxwells for a pint. I was joined by Rand and we sat at the bar and talked with Martha Griffin. Martha, when not bartending had plans on making a movie. The movie was about a local band in town, Gutbank who we were all friends with. Martha was going to need financing and someone had the idea of maybe having a benefit to get some money for Martha’s project. It was quite a nice little family at Maxwells then.

I’m pretty sure Rand volunteered us to play at the as yet unnamed benefit and we set about a few days later practicing some songs. Covers that our friends would know and not expect. A Sex Pistols/Kinks/Butthole Surfers medley was worked on as well as some Elvis Costello, Ringo Starr, the Clash, Patti Smith and the B-52’s. And we also played back up for one of the waiters singing Marty Robbins ‘El Paso’ to the head cook who was in drag. We were also joined by Mike Weinert, formerly of local band Antietam on the washboard and assorted percussion.

It went over well, well enough that we were asked to play the River City Fair, a precursor to the Hoboken Art & Music festival. Somewhere between Maxwells and the River City Fair, we lost Mike Weinert and gained John Hamilton from another local band, Tiny Lights. John was and still is a consummate guitarist and before the fair, joined us at Maxwells. Rand and I were having a few drinks while John suggested that we shouldn’t drink beforehand.

We figured what did he know, and kept drinking some before heading to the river. It turned out John was quite right about drinking beforehand since when we hit the stage, feeling drunk and in the sun we might have made fools of ourselves though most people didn’t notice and basically enjoyed our short set. Rand and I were ready to pack it in, John Hamilton married and moved on. Now he is a professor at Harvard and I am sure playing with the Art Hams did not make it to his CV.

Much to our surprise, we were once again asked to play a show, this time an AIDS benefit for the Hyacinth Foundation in Asbury Park. It was our first and only out of town gig and we were driven by our mutual friend Susan Sher. Another friend Carol, joined us for the ride. On the way down Susan said that since we were going to play we probably couldn’t smoke with her. She wasn’t talking tobacco and we said of course we could. We followed John Hamilton’s advice and did not drink but we sure smoked a lot. Smoked Art Hams I suppose.

It was an even more abbreviated show, we were on so early that no one was really paying attention to us, besides Susan and Carol and Mary Fallon who helped set the whole thing up. And it was over before we knew it. It was painless and no one complained and we were happy to have done our small bit for the Hyacinth Foundation.

Now 25 years later we are at it again. I’ve been practicing my guitar for the past couple of years, and have gotten a little better since those first strums. Rand and I have gotten together for a few hours the past week to run down some songs and practice. Some songs are easier than others to play and where I’ve been able to master a few chords, Rand has had some difficulty so on some songs he’ll be singing or doing somethings while I play the song alongside him.

It should be fun, we’re looking forward to it. Rand will be performing with Lois as part of the trombone and ukulele duo, Trombolele. They’re opening up the set and Art Hams will be followed by Stump Granny’s Violin, with Lois dressed as a Granny taking requests and if she can’t play the request, you (or someone) could win a prize. There should be pictures and or video so if you can’t make it, we can still terrify you, one way or another, weather permitting.

not an Art Ham

One Art Ham

the other Art Ham

02 Instant Karma!

Somehow I was able to manage going to school and working part time. It was no big thing and I preferred work to school. In 1978 I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, I knew that I was not to be college bound. I was working in the college department and once summer school ended, I worked the month of August as much as possible while still listed as a part timer. I was pretty much straight edge in most senses of the term, no drugs, no drinking. But I was having sex and it was decidedly not ‘straight’

My parents had friends named Larry and Mary Jane. Larry did some work with the National Guard which had a base near where I lived. Near the National Guard base was a rest area on Route 80. The rest area was a short cut of sorts to get from my neighborhood to the local supermarket and the Two Guys department store. My friends and I didn’t think much about the rest area, it was just a place to walk through that ran parallel to Essex Street, situated next to a Nathan’s Hot Dogs stand. My friends and I did not notice much.

One night I overheard about how the National Guardsmen raided the rest area. It seemed that there was a lot of undesirables loitering there doing unnatural acts at night. Basically a bunch of closeted and not so closeted men would drive there and cruise each other, having sex in the bushes. So the National Guard came in and harassed or busted a few heads open, all in the name of decency. I didn’t pay much attention to the violent aspect of what was said but the thought of sex with men in the bushes stayed in my mind.

One night while alone at home, I did wander over there and saw some things and even participated in some action. I enjoyed it a lot and likened it to being in the sexual revolution. While my classmates at Paramus Catholic were busy trying to unhook bras or even trying to get their girlfriends to ‘just give it a little kiss’ down there, I was getting blown by their fathers, uncles and neighbors. I figured that if what I was warned about was so much fun, that a few other places must have some similar things to offer to a horned up teenage boy.

So whenever I had the chance, I would check out these places I was told to stay away from. The Garden State Plaza had a public restroom underneath the mall in the subterranean concourse, next to Bambergers. It was a goldmine of sorts. And there was a system set up to warn the men there doing things with other men to cool it, someone was approaching. It was a very hot scene and through a system of one guy being a lookout, informing another lookout, a glance to the guy constantly washing his hands and someone whistling, doors were shut, men left hurriedly and in under 60 seconds it was like nothing was going on, just the smell of musk and man scents lingering in the air.

One time while going there, I stumbled into the vice principal of Paramus Catholic enjoying himself in a stall. I don’t think he recognized me (he was also a councilman in a neighboring town) but I certainly recognized him. There were crackdowns on occasion, mall security would come in every now and then and clear everyone out. One time, a former neighbor was working as mall security and noticed me as part of the horned up group of men zipping up on the way out. I didn’t think much of him then, he was a bully and treated his wife and kids quite badly.

All this while juggling school and work. Living a double life at age 16.