Monthly Archives: March 2012

I Hope

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Fast break. I just caught some of the NCAA Final Four in the Man Cave so I am somewhat familiar with the basketball lingo. It’s a damp and cold and windy Saturday night. Things have quieted down somewhat. It has been a busy day, working alongside with Zack & Bradley and we all got along quite nicely.

That is a nice change of pace considering I left in such a state on Thursday evening, a mood that only got worse as I headed home. No, it’s been alright today. I suppose it is the company one keeps, though of course I have no say regarding who I am working with. Sales have been pretty good today, I hit my goal and then some and just a few hundred behind Bradley in sales. A decent end to March.

Right now, the Clash, Sandinista is playing. Specifically The Crooked Beat which is the name of a wonderful mixtape I made in the 1990’s. That mixtape got me about a month of free Guinness at a spot that Julio & I used to hang out at. Then I told my friend Pedro about it and it became Pedro’s spot, with Pedro going a lot more than I ever did.

Bradley just split for the evening, leaving me alone in the cigar shack. I don’t mind the solitude. I had a friend named Kevin McBean who loved the Crooked Beat mixtape, so much so that he told me all the time, over and over.

Kevin McBean stopped being my friend when I told him in 2002 that Bill had gotten me a ring for my birthday, that I was in a committed relationship. You see, Kevin McBean never knew I was gay until that moment and he didn’t like it very much. So I guess the old adage is true, he probably wasn’t your friend to begin with.

I should never have re-written his resume when he somehow got into Right Track looking for a job and handed in a resume that looked like it was written on tissue paper. I felt bad for him so I fixed it up. He never got the job but we did become friends. Then I came out and he moved to another planet as far as I am concerned.

Bill is driving to Atlantic City again tonight. He drove last night. I saw him for a few minutes this morning as I was getting ready to leave and as he was getting ready to go to sleep. Not much is planned for me after work tonight (is there ever anything planned?). I am working tomorrow with Jerry Vale and Thomas and off again on Monday.

Bradley and Zack saw the schedule change that Thomas mentioned in the voice mail and both of them agreed that it would not be a good idea for me to work 5 days straight. And it would have actually been 6 days if it weren’t for Bradley revamping the schedule. I guess I hear about Thomas’ take on it tomorrow.





05 My Wife and My Dead Wife

I Honor U

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OK. Last night I was really bitter when I wrote what I wrote. No regrets. In fact I even went so far as to title the entry as ‘Bitter’. And I went to bed bitter. I woke up depressed. Filled with despair. After a shower and some coffee I went to drop off some shirts at the dry cleaners and then a trip to the supermarket where my favorite cashier, Isis was grouchy and unavailable.

There is a new manager in the supermarket and she might have forced Isis to close her lane early, leading to Isis being very much a sourpuss. I came home, had some breakfast and did some laundry. Still the day was edged with the blues, very dark blues.

During one of the laundry cycles my phone rang and saw it was the cigar shack, the source of my depression. I did not take the call and it went to voice mail. Then I made the mistake of checking the voice mail.

Once again, a day off that was scheduled is going to be rescinded since ‘someone’ has to work while Bradley & Thomas host an event at a nearby overpriced steakhouse, paired with cigars at the shack. It was upsetting. I didn’t do anything, I didn’t call back. I will deal with it tomorrow when I return to the cigar shack. I’ll be working with Zack and Bradley who will have come back after having 5 days off. I will wait for whomever to bring it up.

The dismal sunny day continued and I finally gave in and had a Xanax. It’s been months since I last took one it did the job. Taking the edge off of everything and leaving everything dull and sleepy. I walked around Hoboken, looking for a new watch band.

The old one that I got with my Timex a while ago was leather and finally falling apart through wear and tear. It was being held together by rubber bands I was starting to find that unsightly. I remembered a store on First Street in Hoboken and walked over there only to find they moved a block and a half away.

They rented space in a building that used to be warehouse, now it’s mainly where some friends and artists and craftspeople have their studios and workspaces. I asked if they had watch bands and had to explain what I meant. They showed me what they had which was quite meager at best.

Since I was down by the Path train I opted to head into the city, just a quick jaunt. I notice that a lot of shoe repair places also have watch bands and will even put them on the watch which seemed unlikely from the store in Hoboken. I found one near where my friend Jesse works and got my old watch band replaced after saying a hearty hello to Jesse.

Then I just hopped on the bus back to Hoboken, spending more time traveling in and out of the city than actually being in the city.

Came home and took a nap which seemed to have put me right, leaving me to think I should have just taken a nap after waking up this morning.


07 Uneasy Sunny Day Hotsy Totsy