It’s been quite a tumultuous day. The lie that I sent out, the fabrication on my resume finally came back to me and I had to admit it. The former president of the last job sent in a glowing letter of recommendation but stated the discrepancy in the start date.

That is what came back to me. I can’t fault the former president for not lying on my behalf, he had too much at stake and I understand that 100%. The woman at the company I interviewed with got in touch with the recruiter who had gotten back to me.

I couldn’t lie. I did ask Bill what to do and he told me what I already knew. Tell the truth. I called up the recruiter and explained that I was tired of answering questions about the 9 months I worked at McMann and Tate and decided to omit it from the resume.

It wasn’t a malicious lie but I misrepresented myself and who would hire anyone who misrepresents themselves? The recruiter did offer some hope, thinking that now that I came clean maybe that would be alright, but the company more than likely had enough of my chicanery.

A little while later, the recruiter called and left a voice mail. The job offer was rescinded. I didn’t feel any relief now that the lie was dead. I felt bad for the recruiters who no doubt were looking forward to the commission they would have gotten for placing me at the new job.

I felt really bad when I thought of Bill and the photo he sent, him beaming and so happy that I landed this gig. I felt like a heel though, like I let a lot of people down. People that believe in me, who offered words of support and congratulations on Facebook.

But ultimately I let myself down. I am now resolved not to lie anymore on the resume. Next month, in the new year, a more honest resume will go out including the time spent at McMann and Tate.

Who cares if I have to answer questions about why I left a branding consultancy in Soho? An explanation is a small price to pay.

Bill once again comes through with flying colors, so supportive and understanding and once again stating that he has my back. He also has my heart but that goes unsaid.

Perhaps there will be a better job, some Monday through Friday job that will get me out of the retail grind of the cigar shop. And at least, I still have that. Just have to get through the month and into the new year. It can be done, I’ve done it before.

With all this going on, I do feel lucky. Lucky enough to have a good man by my side, family and friends that care and are always willing to help me up when I stumble.

I wanted to be out of the cigar shop by the holiday season, but here I am at the cigar shop in the holiday season. You know what? It’s not the end of the world. I will survive. What’s done is done. The past has passed. I’ve got to keep on keepin’ on.

Thank you.