Monthly Archives: September 2008

Ventilator Blues

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Well I am looking forward to work tomorrow, it will be something to do. Though I will be dreading and perhaps lying when asked how my birthday weekend was. The past two days have been quite dull and the highpoint of the day so far has been a walk to the Hoboken post office.

It was not supposed to be the highpoint of the day. The highpoint of the day was to be me going into the city to my office to drop off a few pounds of coffee that I bought this morning.

Yeah it’s been a rather pathetic weekend. It’s close to 90 degrees out right now and it’s muggy as all hell. I had had enough of being cooped up inside today and decided to head into the city. The sun was beaming on the side of the street where the buses into the city ride so I was opposite, walking down in the shade, keeping an eye out for the buses.

The bus showed up when I was between stops and the bus drivers do not pick up people that are not at the bus stop so I was screwed. I found myself walking around Hoboken carrying three pounds of coffee and whining to my sister on the phone about what a pathetic weekend this has turned out to be.

I’m just so annoyed at myself that I postponed drinks with Rand and Lisa. They didn’t give me a set time and even though I have nothing but time on my hands my mood had turned considerably rotten and anti-social.

I thought it would be better if I just went back to my messy apartment and sat in front of the computer since my life wasn’t pathetic enough. Bill was upstate yesterday then at his mother’s last night. Juan said he was going to stop by after seeing his family but he didn’t. I’m just a lonely guy it seems.

Once again I find myself depending on others to get me through, to show me a good time. And then when there is an offer I bail. Now I’m hungry and cranky. I bought a half pint of heavy cream and I will more than likely make some more sub-par pesto with pasta and chicken. This time ignoring Annemarie and Harpy’s advice since heeding their advice yesterday left me wholly dissatisfied.

Annemarie had the right idea on her birthday weekend. She went away on a yoga retreat. My problem is, I don’t do yoga. She suggested following one of my interests, but what are my interests? When pressed for an answer I come up blank.

Music? That’s about my main interest, but how could I pursue that? I have a ticket for My Bloody Valentine on September 22, but right now I’m thinking about selling it. I don’t want to go by myself and I could use the money and I did see them back in 1991 at Studio 54. I think those are three pretty good reasons not to go.

Another interest of mine would be the movies. But I don’t like going to the movies alone. There are plenty of movies that I want to see too. Yeah I’m in a situation of my own doing. I could call people up but when I do they have other plans or simply can’t make it so I end up not even asking and sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.

I’m annoyed with myself, with my computer, with just about everything that crosses my path. It’s just as well that I sit here next to the open window sweating in a warm breeze.

Oh right, I have a dental appointment tomorrow. That’s something to look forward to. Nothing major, just some x-rays and periodontal charts that need to be done again and then sent back to the insurance company so they could deny my benefits for the third time.

Last night I watched The Brave One starring Jodie Foster and Terrance Howard. Oh it sucked. Easily forgettable. Another DVD rental that when it ended I couldn’t help but yell BOO. Bill is in it for about 2 seconds, in the building that I worked in when I worked for Golden Staffing on 44th street.

You have to slow down the DVD considerably and zoom in order to catch Bill getting into an elevator.
All in all a crap movie.

Also caught SNL last night which was funny. Tina Fey ‘surprise guest’ as Sarah Pallid. She had the whole accent down perfectly, the long flat tones as she speaks. Lil Wayne wasn’t all that. Easily ignored.

A little while later.

I’ve eaten. Used olive oil, a dash of heavy cream, a lick of butter and two and a half tablespoons of pesto sauce, maybe three tablespoons. A definite improvement over last night and a definite positive effect on my mood. When I don’t eat I tend to turn into Joan Collins. Or my father. Or Joan Collins father.

The pasta was good, the sauce a wee bit creamy but not creamy like I would get on 57th street for lunch. A happy medium it is. Not feeling so sorry for myself. I don’t have it so bad, as bhikkhu states in the comments below.

Hoboken Sunset

Easy to Love

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Last night was nice and certainly not as raucous as other birthdays that I’ve had. I’ve had birthday evenings filled with whippets, acid, coke, booze but not any more. It was the first time in a while that a hangover did not follow the next day. I’m not complaining though some madness would have been nice last night.

After dinner Bill went right to bed and I watched TV. Just like any other night. Bill was up and out at 4:00 this morning. Some church function in upstate New York. A nice kiss goodbye, then he was out of the apartment leaving every light on in every room but the bedroom. I stirred about 5 hours later, waking to find the news of Hurricane Ike kicking Texas ass.

Pretty bad down there. I was telling Bill last night about my father working for the Port of Galveston years ago. From the reports this morning there might not be much of Galveston left, not to mention the ports themselves.

I stopped buying the New York Post this morning. I’ve been buying it for a while now, a perverse thrill but it’s mainly been pissing me off. I can read it online and save myself $0.50. Why should Murdoch get any of my hard earned cash? I can afford it, but it’s the principle.

Just too stupid and wrong wing and I admit a certain snobbery when I would see people reading it on the subway or the bus while I sit and read the New Yorker. It’s not right but it’s a fun moment being judgmental. I have had my moments and I’m pretty sure I’ve been judged for doing a lot worse than reading a tabloid. I

was planning on going for a bike ride this afternoon but it looked like rain so I didn’t. Stayed local and walked over tot he river and read the latest Mojo. Ran into Michael Hill who’s always a nice guy to talk to.

I forget who it was a while ago who had something to say about Michael but I’ve never had any problems with him. He even tried to get me a job at Warner Brother music a couple of decades ago but that didn’t pan out. He was soon on his way and I finished the cigar I was enjoying and walked home as it started to drizzle a bit while talking to my sister on the phone.

15 minute walk from Sinatra Park to my apartment all the while talking to my sister about making pesto sauce. I did try to make the pesto sauce and it certainly was not like the pesto that I would have for lunch. I did not buy heavy cream and following Harpy and Annemarie’s instructions it came out badly.

When I would get the penne pesto and chicken for lunch it was creamy and the pasta was covered in a green sauce. This was speckled with some pesto and rather bland.

Annemarie is worried about the cholesterol with the heavy cream but I was planning on only using a dash of it, to liquefy the pesto which is clumpy. And I couldn’t find any info online.

Plenty of info on how to make pesto sauce from scratch, but nothing about a recipe if the pesto sauce has been store bought. We’ll see about tomorrow.

Today’s weather