Monthly Archives: October 2012

I Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You)

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Last night I slept really well and had a dream where I had an electric guitar, a Les Paul at that, and I don’t think I was supposed to be playing it but I was. In the dream I had to hide while the guitar was still humming and I was in a cloakroom fiddling around with the pickup switch. Strange dream, especially when I take into consideration that I prefer Fender guitars to Gibson. But, if someone was going to give me a Gibson guitar, I would gladly accept it and perhaps (definitely) name it after my benefactor.

It’s been an interesting day, lazy, overcast again. There is a benefit at Maxwells for the Hoboken Fair Rent Association, and I am DJing the event as well as playing a couple of songs. I think I will be playing solo. I asked some people if they wanted to join me, but so far have not heard anything definite. I did ask someone on Facebook whom I admire if they would send me the chords to a song I am planning on covering and they said they would so that’s something to look forward to.

After playing the guitar almost every day during the summer, I admit I haven’t been playing much lately. That’s been a good thing I think since it allows me to take a different approach sometimes. The other day when I was feeling quite down, I did pick up the Fender F-210 and played for a while and it definitely helped lift my spirits considerably. So with so and so sending me the chords to their song, I’ll be able to learn something that is not a Beatle song.

Of course I will probably play a Fab song or two since it is in my DNA. I have no idea what to expect. I am getting a phone call later on from the bloke who is organizing the event so I should know a little bit more. And already I am thinking of things to play when I DJ. Of course I do that most every minute of my life, usually every 3:43.

I’m watching Almost Famous on TV right now, such a sweet movie. I fell in love with it when I first saw it with Julio and our mutual friend, Claire. I loved it and related to it a lot more than either one of them. It’s a movie I can watch over and over and I always hope that Cameron Crowe makes a movie as great as this one is.

I am feeling pretty good, the previous couple of days of gloom and doom have lifted. I definitely look forward to Bill coming home. He’s not driving to Atlantic City tonight and Friday nights together are so infrequent these days. He was so good in the reading last night, it was good to see the respect that his fellow readers/actors gave him. He was quite passionate and according to Bill having me there helped, especially since I was who he focused on.

I forgot that it’s going to be a while since he is at the Yankees game. Silly me.





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I Never Learnt to Share

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Termination without cause is what they said and termination without cause is what happened. I suppose budgets should have been checked beforehand, and now this. It’s wasn’t that great an investment in time but I do have to confess my disappointment. I certainly do appreciate the time spent and still think highly of them, enough to not harbor any bad feelings. That’s the way things go I guess. I stopped by the morning and received the official news. There are still days left on the schedule and where they stand on this remains to be seen. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

A beautiful day today though. I’m heading into the city in a few hours, Bill is taking part in a staged reading about the Proposition 8 trial in California, about same sex marriage. It was written by Dustin Lance Black and when first put on in Hollywood, had bold faced names in the roles. Bill is my bold faced name. It’s a few hours from now and I just have to figure out how to fill my time until then. I’ve already done laundry and ran a few errands. I could always watch my clothes dry I guess.

Bill and I have been taking a break from politics and the news, opting to watch comedies on TV. A few weeks ago when I was hanging out with Rand, he asked me what shows I watch on TV. I realized that I don’t watch programs, the channel has usually been set on MSNBC. And that has been stressing me out. So a conscious decision was made to laugh, or at least watch something amusing. So we watched The New Girl and The Mindy Project, both were actually funny. Then for old times’ sake, Lawn Hors d’œuvre SUV which was pretty good. Then we watched The Soup and Key & Peele on Comedy Central. Bill loved Key & Peele a lot.

That’s the TV roundup since Bill went to bed soon after that I followed a little while later. Quite boring isn’t it?

Today is also National Coming Out Day. That’s a way of showing support to people in the closet about their sexuality, showing them that there is nothing wrong with being gay and that life is better once you stop hiding yourself. Staying in the closet does not help anyone and in fact makes a lot of problems.

I was outed myself and once my sexuality was revealed, some people were fine with it and others dropped me as a friend. Nothing had changed really, something I had kept hidden was revealed. People who were friends on Friday were no longer my friend on Monday. Nothing I could do about that. There was a betrayal involved, the ‘friend’ I had come out to, told his girlfriend who had a big mouth. Luckily I did find new friends who were quite supportive.

It’s all about support you see. It is a necessary thing, considering that there are so many people against coming out. They seem to prefer a person living a lie.

I just got back from seeing Julio for a few minutes. It was good to see him. He is going to a wedding tonight and needed a pair of cufflinks. He knew I had a pair to loan him and it was good to get out in the sunshine and talk. He was disappointed with my turn of events and offered a few words of support. We had a few laughs, it’s rare that we see each other these days and he is hardly ever online, spending more time in the real world.

And now I just came home with Bill. Bill played the role of Paul, one of the plaintiffs in the Proposition 8 Trial reading. He was excellent and quite passionate, drawing tears from members of the audience, not just me. Well done, excellent cast, excellent reading of an excellent script by Dustin Lance Black. I am quite glad I made it, walking up to 80th Street and Lexington Avenue from 33rd St and Sixth Avenue. I was early and it was a good walk. With all that walking (in dress shoes no less), I wore a suit & tie for the occasion.

Kudos all around.




09 Feels So Good