Monthly Archives: October 2012

I Need You Tonight- Junior M.A.F.I.A feat. Aaliyah & Lil’ Kim

Leave a reply

Well it’s been an interesting week, a Monday through Friday gig. And now I am off for the next 3 days, with work meetings scheduled next Tuesday and Wednesday at 9:00 in the morning. Not complaining, no I am not. The new gig is about 5 minutes from my door which is nice. I save quite a bit of money on the commute. Working at the cigar shack was approximately $200.00 a month to commute back and forth, now it’s down to zero. My world has shrunk considerably as well. Since it’s just a walk down the block, walking to Washington Street has become an excursion.

Of course that will change eventually I guess. I mainly work with women now so I suppose I will have to get my menstrual cycle in line with the women, though half of them are post-menopausal. It’s been a learning experience this week, getting everything together and trying to understand what’s what. I found out today, one of the women I work with is the daughter of a woman I worked with at Maxwells back in the day. She remembered me somewhat but wasn’t sure and I confirmed it when I told her about Maxwells.

I don’t think the daughter is on good terms with her mother. To tell you the truth the mother was starting to lose it back then and through the years she may have gotten worse. I am not sure if innocent is the proper word to describe the times back then, but after all these years in the cold light of today things are a lot more real. Most of the people back then have moved on, a select few are still around and connections are reestablished via Facebook. The other day the women announced they were going out for drinks after work today.

I immediately started thinking of excuses not to. Nothing against them, it’s just that it would be an expense I couldn’t afford, plus drinking takes more than a physical toll on me, it takes time, time to recover from the drinks. Even that one glass of wine last week did my head in for a few hours afterward. A few margarita’s with then girls would render tomorrow inactive. Then again I did hear from Pedro who said he might be coming to town tomorrow and that might entail drinks with him and Connie.

Of course Pedro could talk me into it though I have to keep in mind that last time I was properly rocked and it took a lot of will power to keep myself together. Of course when you look at me in that condition you never can tell. It’s what’s inside that you don’t see and that inside is usually a mess. I handle myself well but usually I would rather be in bed sleeping it off. Tomorrow with Pedro depends on the weather. If it’s raining then he and Connie will probably stay upstate. If it’s nice then they will be down here, perhaps in a dark pub.

It’s been interesting with Pedro the past couple of days. He’s leaning right politically and setting me up with Facebook messages that are pro-Willard. I fall for it and as I write with pure emotion, he feeds the fire somewhat then takes a step back letting me know he is merely busting my balls and that he loves me, calling me his big brother. And that makes it alright. I certainly hope he does not bring up politics tomorrow, I know I won’t. Until then I will occupy my time one way or another. It has been a good week.

And hello Casey Chasm en familie!

New layout! What do you think?


She’s a Lady

I Need You Tonight- Peter Wolf

Leave a reply

Today is October 4, which is my friend Ulysses birthday, my friend Jane’s birthday and my mother’s birthday. My mother was born in 1926, the only girl amongst 5 sons in the Bronx. I only recently got a grip on my mother’s era, she loved movies and I guess she was about 13 when she saw Gone With The Wind when it came out in 1939. I think it was one of her favorite movies, as it was for a lot of people. She was only 7 when King Kong when it first came out, and 5 when both Frankenstein and Dracula were released.

I don’t think she much cared for those movies, but I didn’t know better. I remember when I was growing up, asking my mother if she remembered seeing King Kong climb the Empire State Building. I had problems differentiating between fantasy and reality. Some people might say I still do. My mother more than likely gave me the look of ‘what am I going to do with you’. I was the last born to Francis and Mary, and I am certain I wasn’t planned. There are 3 years between my siblings but between me and Brian there are 5 years.

There were a couple of kids that didn’t make it, Kevin and Mary Margaret are the two that I recall, visiting their headstones in Calgary Cemetery in Queens. There is another child in Valhalla up in Westchester but I forgot their name. I don’t think the plan was to have 7 kids, and if Kevin, Mary Margaret or the other one lived, it’s possible that Brian or myself would not be. Of course that is all speculation on my part since I have no idea what they were thinking, especially that January night 50 years ago.

My mother was definitely a product of her time and like others of her generation, had to face the times that were changing after World War 2. 4 kids that didn’t get into trouble (or at least weren’t caught) where other kids, neighbors and relatives did have scandalous moments. Not us, though that could be attributed to the fact that we were certainly afraid of what our father would say or do if we crossed that line. I remember walking home with my mother from my brother Frank’s apartment a few blocks away, my mother making me swear on her mother’s grave that I wouldn’t do drugs.

I did swear at the time, but eventually I dabbled to say the least. She asked me a few years later if I was smoking pot and I answered that I was, saying that I preferred it to alcohol. She was disappointed, probably heart broken, then surprised when I offered her a chance to smoke with me. Of course she declined, but I saw no reason to lie. She knew from me coming home, red eyed and ravenous. Was she hoping I would lie? I have no idea.

It’s possible she was hoping I would lie to spare her feelings and her fears. I do know she was upset when I came out (and my coming out was not voluntary) and might have gone to her grave in 1991 thinking that I was just going through a phase despite my sister telling her that it was for real. Her passing blindsided us all and sent my life in a direction unforeseen. But that’s life. She almost passed away when she was pregnant with me, having a heart attack. I guess it caught up with her 29 years later.

She is missed to this day and I hope she is enjoying whatever and wherever she might be in this universe.






07 Dreadlock Holiday