I went back to work today. It was a busy day and I was able to get some work done but a lot of the time I had to explain how well brother Frank was doing. I told the truth of course. They seemed genuinely concerned and willing to tell me stories of their hardships with various family members and friends. Misery loves company I guess and this was a way to identify with what me and my family are going through. Even spoke to Kathe about what’s happening. She’s concerned, she’s not that far off from Frank’s age. Same with Charlie her husband.

Bill ran into Roda on the street and told him. Roda phoned me up a little while later, telling me that he’s going to put out good thoughts and prayers, same as Connie. I noticed that initially when I went to the hospital on Monday with Bill, I felt like I was in a dream. This was so unexpected, it knocked me out. As time went on and we left the hospital I realized that it wasn’t a dream at all, that this was real life and real life can fuck you up at any time.

At various points throughout the day I wanted to call Frank at work. We usually speak on different days, usually catching up like, ‘did you see the Office last night?’ but of course I couldn’t call. And the phone in his room isn’t hooked up which is just as well since he is still having difficulty speaking. I spoke with Elaine today and she told me that Frank saw a neurologist and she said that he was definitely making progress. Which makes the good news, official good news. We just need to get him strong enough to be able to walk down the aisle with his daughter Meghan when she gets married on June 30th.

Before lunch, I had the worthless blues, though I know I’m not worthless. Definitely a low blood sugar thing going on. It took a while for me to get focused on the work I had to do, but was able to get things done after I had my salad. I ate grapes throughout the day though but I guess they didn’t sustain me well enough until lunch. It’s hard to believe I’ve been here for a little over a month, but I have been and everyone seems happy with my job performance. Everyone but me I guess.

I left work a little after 5:00, had a Padron 5000 natural and strolled down Third Avenue to 42nd street. At the corner of Third and 42nd I saw a blind guy struggling to get down the street in the sea of commuters. I walked over to him and asked if he needed help. He asked me which was I was going and I said west. He then took my arm and we walked down 42nd street to Madison Avenue. People weren’t getting out of his way when he was alone, no one offered to help him so I did, telling people, ‘excuse me’ as we crawled past.

I asked him where he was going and he said the Verizon store at 43rd and Madison. He didn’t mind the cigar and I didn’t mind going out of my way. I got him there faster than he would have on his own and deposited him in the doorway of the store. Then I walked through Bryant Park enjoying my cigar. As I approached the bus terminal I saw a guy shorter than me. Matt Illuzzi from McMann and Tate. He was the office controller and probably still is. I was two feet behind him but he as usual had his head up his ass so he didn’t see me. I had nothing to say to him so I just went on my way to my bus as he went on his way to his bus to North Bergen.

Tuesday. Last night I watched Heroes with Bill and Juan. Very good episode and ended with a true cliffhanger, Hiro time traveled back to 1600’s Japan. But as I watched it I watched it from a distance, obviously with the state that brother Frank is in, my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of him. Juan made for good company and before he left, after Bill went to sleep I told him about how I was feeling about all this. I hope it wasn’t too much for him to handle, but it’s a fact of life for me. I’m sure he could deal with it and I am grateful for his support.

Bill too has been a constant presence by my side as well as Julio. Both of them have gone through strokes in regards to their parents and both sides came out fine eventually. Julio is definitely very good with doing medical research whereas to me it’s all Latin. E pluberis this, veni vidi vici that. He is a Spaniard so maybe that plays into it, the Latin that is. No he’s actually very good and supportive and definitely tries to show light where I see only darkness.

And both Bill’s father and his Aunt had mild strokes and are around today to tell their tales. So that’s reassuring. As the night progressed and we watched Law and Order, I decided to take my company’s advice and take today off. Once again, a plan that was made has been altered. Yesterday was leaving work at a certain time and meeting Bill and taking the bus which totally changed, today was spending a good part of the day at the hospital, perhaps allowing Elaine to have some time for herself, or to do whatever it was she might need to do.

I hung out with Frank and Elaine, Frank’s progress was impressive, speaking clearer and able to finish sentences somewhat. And they both looked better. Elaine got some well deserved sleep though interrupted by a car alarm. Their daughter Meghan and her fiancé Rob showed up for a little while, then they ran off to get their marriage license. Elaine and I accompanied Frank to his physical therapy where Frank complained about his calves hurting. That could’ve been because he has been in bed the past week, but the therapist was wary of possible clotting so they put an end to that and sent Frank back to his room.

Frank had some cold chicken broth and urine colored Jello and closed his eyes for a bit so Elaine and I went to the Arena Diner by Hackensack University Medical Center. We sat and talked about things, how her father is 85 and how we never expected this to happen to Frank at 55. You never can tell actually. The theory now is that some dental work that Frank had done might have created an infection that traveled to his heart, then some broke off and went to his brain. They are still monitoring his heart but as of now, there’s no need to go in and check that out.

Before we left for the diner Frank was saying something like how bad he felt for treating me badly in the past, like I noticed or cared, and that he was glad I was around to help out. My plan now is to go back on Friday since I’m taking that day off, maybe enjoy a four day weekend, maybe go to Garfield and help Elaine around the house, though she said she was going to wait and see about that, having scraped the front porch of paint to tidy up for Meghan’s wedding next month.

I spoke to my dear friend Connie about this. She found out from the grapevine. I spoke to Kathe, who spoke to Charlie who called Connie. Connie used to work in nuclear medicine so she knows a bit about strokes and other brain ailments. She mentioned that someone should tell the therapists so they might push Frank a little harder so he would be able to walk down the aisle with his daughter on her wedding day. Sounds like a good idea to me.

Here’s some pics from the past few days.

Jane Street