And it goes a little something like this. Slept well last night, got out of bed all right. Put my glasses on for some sight, had to take a piss ‘cause my drawers were so tight. That’s my attempt at a rap lyric. I won’t do it again, I promise. Today was a busy day, but not busy enough for Felicia to tell me that I have to make up my mind if I want to stay there. I should take the weekend to think about it. I’ve been told that I’m rude also. I told her that I was planning to get through a year, since I started in April. I reminded her that she asked me during my initial interview that she asked me if I was willing to make a commitment and not leave after three months. I wonder how many receptionists they go through? She said that I needed to think about seeing if this was the right job for me.

Harrumph! This happened around lunchtime so I went out and had some lunch, while talking to Bill who was incredulous. I then called up Mark who got me into Wanker Banker and told yesterday to take me out of the running for a job he was pushing me for. I told him not to, to keep me under consideration. Turns out he asked someone in his office to do just that and they didn’t so nothing had changed. Called up Lawrence who kept trying to get me something, and once again he sounded sincere and said he’d start looking. Also called up Mindy at another agency and told her the same thing. She even went the extra mile and made noises that sounded like she was looking for my file. I think she did because the print was too small for her eyes and needed another size font.

I have to admit it actually felt good knowing where I stand at work. Yes, it’s right by the door, but knowing what they think of me after two months of trying to ingratiate myself to them, and then being called rude, I have a clear picture of what’s going on. They’re not really a welcoming group. The conservative financial world was a lot warmer than this crowd.

I did pour on the sweetness from then on. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was offered a slice of Dominos pizza by a few of the people that I’ve never had more than two minutes of conversation with and it wasn’t for my lack of trying. I politely said no thanks, adding that I already bought a salad. Here’s another odd thing. You’re in New York City, where there’s a pizzeria on almost every corner and you go out and order Dominos? That is fucked up, I’m sorry. Also the guy that owns Dominos is a psycho Catholic who wants to build a town in Florida, a town for Christians only. He’s also a major funder of groups that are anti-choice.

Oh how I long for Wanker Banker. A touch of regret.

I thought it would take some time to fit in, but they seem to be closing that window of opportunity. As tired as I’ve been trying to fit in there, I kept at it. But all these things that Felicia and I talked about regarding various people, these people are probably the ones behind it. Fear and loathing in the world of corporate branding. How the hell did I get here? If I knew then what I know now…. two months. Shit.