Monthly Archives: April 2012

I Knew I Loved You

Ceremony by New Order is playing. I originally had Joy Division on but once again I realized I don’t really like too many Joy Division songs. Probably because of Ian Curtis’ voice. I like maybe 5 Joy Division songs. A sacrilege to some I am sure. Love Will Tear Us Apart, Transmission, She’s Lost Control…and that’s all I can think of. Atmosphere is way too much of a dirge for my liking. Good friends of mine love them still but I don’t get it. Too depressing which my friends don’t see or hear.

It’s back at the cigar shack again. I thought it would be Zack, Bradley and Jerry Vale with myself, but there was no Jerry Vale today. That’s a bit a of a disappointment. Nick, someone from McMann & Tate just walked in. He remembers me and I always think of his as Scott which is not his name, but could be the pseudonym that I gave him 6 years ago. NIce guy, I think he has a thing for me.

So the cigar shack did quite well today. I had a nice chat with Bradley about me and Thomas which helped me sweep the bad feelings under the rug. And Thomas came in for a few minutes. It’s his birthday weekend and he has a few buddies from Connecticut in town for drinks and carousing. 26 years old now, and still incorrigible.

A little over 30 minutes left in today at the cigar shack and I am working both Saturday and Sunday. I did arrange to have off on May 6 so I could attend the Fartin’ Mucous Festival in Hoboken and also took off May 12th and 13th to perhaps go down the shore with Rand and Lisa. In order to do that I have to work a 5 day stretch which is murder, but those 2 days off at the end of the week is a pot of gold of sorts.

ANd Bill is driving tomorrow, not tonight. Of course when I come home tonight he will be out cold. I will speak to him as he sleeps and he will mutter incomprehensible things back to me. WHat it means I don’t know.

Last night, I did not sleep that well, woke up with New Order’s Temptation in my head which is never played on WCBS-FM so it was in my head and stayed there. I shouldn’t have watched that 1981 Live from the Ukrainian Home video last night. And I had a dream. I was back in Lodi on Riverview Avenue to deliver a message to old neighbor from around the block, Jeffrey Telep about his dog Tramp.

Tramp was alive and well in the dream though more than likely dead for about 30 years. As I walked through the neighborhood, I saw the Merlino’s house, the Serpone’s house all with new, yet invisible residents. The Bello’s house, now owned by the horrible Debbie Natale was like a clearing house filled with kitchen appliances, all tagged and ready for sale.

Debbie was berating an employee, making them cry and I threw the message for Jeffrey Telep away, deciding to go back home to my parents.


I Kissed A Girl Jill Sobule

And now today was back at the cigar shack. Oddly enough, no dread, no anxiety and no pharmaceuticals. Just a general ambivalence I suppose. Bill has been phenomenal. Last night we watched Veep, starring Julia Louis Dreyfuss. Very good, very funny.

It is hard to write with Thomas standing two feet away from me, just itching to see what it is I am writing. But now he is gone and I maintain the flow. Bill went to bed after Veep and I of course stayed up watching anything but the news.

I can’t take it anymore really. So much bad stuff and that is just MSNBC and the three shows, The Ed Show, Rachel Maddow and the Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell. Thomas has returned and is telling me how easy it is to make a pot roast. Such enthusiasm.

I watched the Colbert Report, followed by 30 Rock I think but I’m not sure. I don’t think 30 Rock holds up after repeated viewings. So waking up was no big deal, Bill was up and out at 5:30 and off to the gym with 2 hours on the treadmill. His farewell kiss to me was sweeter than ever and I of course rolled over after he split.

3 more hours for slumbering me suits me just fine. I was at the bus stop at my usual time, staying away from the other commuters as I smoked a cigar. My bus came and quickly filled up.

I saw a guy I used to work with in the cigar shack, I keep running into him from time to time, each time he is closer to the bus terminal. This morning he was right across the street from the depot. No time for chit chat, just a flashed peace sign and I was on my way.

I was listening to the English Beat. Someone uploaded the entire Dance Craze movie from the 1980’s and I have been enraptured by it. I saw it at the Eighth Street Playhouse back in the day with my dear late friend Jet Watley. Dancing in the aisles was encouraged. So I have Two Tone on my brain lately.

I got to the cigar shack on time once again and set about doing the things no one asks of me, but since no one else will do them I do them myself. It’s been fairly slow in the cigar shack so I try to find things to do since I am not one to stare at women’s breasts and asses as they stroll by the shack.

A lot of the time that means sales go to my co-workers, today they were Thomas and Jerry Vale. Jerry Vale has been doing quite well lately saleswise. Zack has been throwing sales mainly to Thomas, perhaps a show of favoritism.

I have no problem saying that since it happened quite often today, in fact one time he was giving some leads to Thomas but Thomas was going to lunch so he wound up giving them to Jerry Vale and myself, 7 leads in total. That’s the nature of the beast I reckon. And interestingly enough, my boss didn’t even ask how my excursion to the Eagle on Tuesday night went.

Exactly what team do I play for? I mean is there a team if the coach plays favorites? It’s what was written on my status report, I should be a better team player. Give me a team worth playing for and I am there.

Less than 30 minutes to go. A few guys are in the man cave watching the Rangers play someone. Stanley Cup playoffs or something like that. Lots of yelling and screaming going on. I wouldn’t mind getting away from that.

Save it For Later