September | 2011 | johnozed

And it was back to the cigar shack for me today. The previous 48 hours were quite good, though of course Tuesday definitely paled in comparison to Monday. The alarm clock came to life at the usual time, I couldn’t tell you what song was playing when it went off, and that might be because I woke up before it went off and was in the shower at the time.

After making coffee and having cereal I was dressed (in the same suit that I wore to the ill fated meeting yesterday) and checking email. Nothing coming in, I contacted the people I met with yesterday and asked them to return something that was mine. They offered to scan it and send it but I insisted on the original document.

Perhaps that was the burning of a bridge but as the hours go further from the meeting I couldn’t help but wonder what it was that did me in. They had my papers, and when they asked me about my past previous to the paperwork, telling them about my work in the music business and People magazine might have put the kibosh on it since you know, working in music and publishing is so glamorous and both industries are nearly extinct.

The line that ‘I would be bored after 15 minutes’ of joining their team shows that they basically forget or did not read the CV and had glazed eyes once they heard about my music business/publishing experience. I think they were actually letting me down easy. Perhaps the brass ring was not so close to my grasp as I had originally thought, though the rejection was one of the nicer rejections I’d ever had.

The cigar shack was humming along as it usually does, three full timers on with Calvin playing the role of manager. Tonight was a dinner that had been planned about a month and a half and the tickets were not selling. The staff duly contacted the clients and not many were forthcoming with cash in hand.

Calvin pressured us to contact the clients as second time and so we did, with not much of a different result. The fact is that a lot of people don’t have the disposable income for dinner followed by cigars. That’s a concept that Calvin would rather not hear especially since most of his clients have deep pockets, but not enough of them came forwards looking for food and a smoke.

So that made Calvin a bit bitter today, saying that we were under performing. That was abjectly false but it’s his house so what he says goes. A lot of the day was everyone trying to stay out of Calvin’s way with the exception of Bradley, who owned the idea of dinner and cigars tonight. I busied myself off the floor today, taking in stock and organizing the back stock so that kept me out of the watch of Sauron’s eye.

Some other nonsense was mentioned that I heard about through a third party, some disappointment on Calvin’s behalf that Thomas and I were not attending the dinner and smoke out after work, but we are closing the store and it seems a bit hypocritical for all parties to attend such an event, especially if we were under performing in ticket sales.

It’s just that no one has the money, that’s about it. I didn’t think it would be a good idea after cultivating clients to hound them into buying tickets to an event that they were not at all interested in attending. It’s not easy being so far ahead of the curve.

Music business crippled, publishing on it’s knees, Financial world in tatters. Am I the kiss of death or what?

Despite all that silly speculation, whenever my hearts sinks, it soars when I think of Bill. He’s a good man and I told him today my life is full with him in it. He’s at rehearsal once again and probably won’t be home until later. I look forward to giving hm a great big hug and kiss, for he is my man.

For my Bill.

Yesterday, being the magical day that it was, the bar was set quite high. Of course anything that followed would be bound to be a disappointment. Maybe it’s a Catholic thing from my past, ‘You’re having fun today, tomorrow you will be sorry’.

Just thinking about sitting with Bill, eating some really big burgers, walking around afterwards and smoking cigars, then going to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert certainly warms my heart a day later. Today was different. The magic of course had faded somewhat.

I had an interview scheduled for today, something a friend had set up for me. I mainly went on behalf of the friend for putting herself out there (Thanks Elizabeth). I was a bit anxious as I got myself ready. All I had to go on was a nice chat on the phone this past Sunday and that went especially well. Still I tried to not have any high hopes regarding what may happen.

I took a quarter of a tab of Xanax and as I approached the building I bought a banana from a fruit vendor on the street. Wanted to be in the best of all possible moods and it turned out I was. With the Xanax/Banana combination working through my system I took the elevator to a very high floor.

Lazyteat@gmail says that 1/4 tab of Xanax is being pumped full of drugs.

Apparently “I have found pumping the body full of drugs prior to an interview usually does not work out in the favor of the applicant” so it seems that Miss Greg has gone to interviews pumped full of drugs which did not work out well at all for Miss Thing. I suppose that is why she hasn’t responded to my email asking what it was that they do for a living. Perhaps they don’t work, perhaps she’s not living.

I was astounded by the view, and I could see the Statue of Liberty, and looking over Brooklyn I could even see the ocean in the distance, as well as my neighborhood in Hoboken. I found myself thinking that I would love to work in an office like this with such stunning vistas.

After a short wait, I met with the gentlemen who were friends with Elizabeth, and we walked into a conference room. They had my resume and we ran down the jobs listed. Why did I leave there? What happened here? What do you think of our firm? The last one threw me but I think I recovered and answered with a modicum of relative intelligence.

The interview ended sooner than I expected and was told they would tell me whether or not I got the job. I felt a bit deflated and was soon on the street. Bill’s office was nearby and I gave him a call. He came down and I told him what happened, how I felt the question about the company was probably my Achilles Heel.

Bill was reassuring and suggested that I send an email, thanking them for the meeting. I told him I was already planning on doing that. Then Bill had the added idea of sending an actual Thank You card, a cherry on top as it were. I thought it was a good idea and bought a card in the bus terminal.

I walked home, feeling a bit disconsolate back in Hoboken. After all I did get a haircut and shaved my goatee for this interview, which wasn’t so bad since I did need a haircut and the goatee had a little too much grey in it.

I changed out of my suit and back into shorts and sneakers. I spoke with my brother Frank and that was good. He suggested taking a walk by the river and I explained that I had done that so often lately it is starting to mean nothing to me. Still I had filled out the Thank You card and decided to walk to the post office and drop it off.

I did take Frank’s advice and sat by the river, enjoyed a cigar and read about Zooey Deschanel in the latest New York magazine. After reading all about Zooey, I decided to head home. I made a playlist of the original songs covered in Priscilla Queen of the Desert and listened to that as I walked home. Then my phone rang.

I didn’t recognize the number but saw it was a 212 area code. I answered it and it turned out to be the guy I interviewed with. He was being truthful, telling me that I did not get the job. He explained to me why I didn’t get it, which is something I never heard before.

Basically, I was too good for the job and would have been bored in 15 minutes. I explained that I actually thrive in tedium, in fact I would love a boring job, and it’s where I do my best work. He laughed but once again said that I was basically overqualified.

Perhaps it was telling him about the jobs not on the resume, which would be the music business and People Magazine. Two jobs that people would think would be fabulous and glamorous, therefore rendering any office job to be extremely boring.

‘On the contrary’ I thought, but the gentleman’s mind was made up. He did mention that he was on an HR Council and a friend of his, also on the council might be looking for someone just like me, so he asked if it would be OK to forward my resume to the friend. I couldn’t really say no to that, now could I?

He ended the call telling me he was sorry that it didn’t work out, adding that he ‘wasn’t saying no, just saying not now’, and once again saying I was just too good for the job. I told him that I was disappointed, but I was smiling nonetheless.

So like I wrote earlier, after such a magical day yesterday, lunch with dear friends, dinner and a show with Bill, my spouse (more than a mere roommate), basically anything that followed was bound to be a disappointment, and yes I was quite disappointed today.

At the very least I have some great memories and a whole lot of good friends and family who sincerely love me, as I love them. I am a lucky guy, for some people don’t have that.