Monthly Archives: May 2010

For Emma

Once again it’s been a day unlike any other. I’ve written that before, but not today. The day has been a bit odd. But of course there’s a back history which could be related to the oddness.

First off, when I wrote what I wrote on Monday I was hurt and bitter and on top of all that, resentful. My only recourse it seemed to me was to write about.

Let’s face it, my day is so dull that I will write about anything that seems worthwhile. Or not worthwhile actually.

Mike Neutron told me about some recording studio that 2 friends of mine had been in, and hearing it from Mike and not the friends, to not be asked to participate hurt me somewhat.

I didn’t do anything harsh except for writing and for once I didn’t name names or use pseudonyms. I waited for the other shoe to drop, thinking that one of the two would have read what I wrote and tell the other.

Some feedback perhaps, but nothing was forthcoming. Texts that were sent over the past few days have gone without any replies. Still, it stings a bit. I spoke with Bill about it and he was understanding and suggested letting some time pass.

So what if the plan to be used as a radio announcer for a CD has fallen by the wayside? It wouldn’t be the first time they’d made plans and asked me to participate. Next time I shouldn’t be so eager to join in, I should just remain aloof and noncommittal.

It’s just that I have this free time which might not last for long.

It’s been yet another cloudy and gray day and I sat by the river, enjoying a cigar and reading the newspaper. That’s where I spoke with Bill on the phone.

I walked along the waterfront and saw Tariq was back. I hadn’t seen him in about a month, and I have to admit I was a bit worried.

He knows some unsavory types and I hoped nothing happened to him. It turned out he’s been busy and playing in the city and dealing with the situation at the Monroe Center in Hoboken where he and his girlfriend have studio space. The center is bankrupt and has been on thin ice for a number of years.

It was good to see him and once again he handed me his guitar and asked me to play. So I played Shame Shame Shame by Shirley and Company which brought him way back to the 1970’s.

He loved it and sang back up. I sang since I don’t sing when I am by myself. Then I played Love Shack by the B-52’s and he was really happy. He went off for a spell and I sat and strummed his guitar.

When he came back, he had a fifth of vodka tucked in his jacket and when I said I was going home to eat lunch he begged me to do another song. This time I sang Instant Karma and a little bit of Hi Hi Hi.

Tariq asked me to play (Love is Like a) Heatwave but I didn’t know all the chords. I almost brought my songbooks with me when I was leaving my apartment earlier but opted not to since I wasn’t bringing my guitar and in one of those notebooks were the chords to Heatwave.

Someone he knows, very high strung, tie dyed shirt, leather vest and dungarees rolled up to his shins and perhaps a bit wired stopped by and asked Tariq something. Tariq didn’t have the answer the guy wanted to hear and the guy wouldn’t give Tariq a cigarette and spun on his heel and jumped into his pick up truck and drove off fast.

I started some guitar improv again and Tariq loved it, so much so he would stomp his feet and laugh in tears. Apparently I have a skill. Just singing about people heading home from work, or after shopping or just pushing baby strollers around.

The people like it, Tariq loves it and I can’t seem to do it unless someone I know is sitting nearby. I must have done that for about 20 minutes or so. I even sang about people smoking cigarettes and in the song I’d ask them to give Tariq a cigarette since no one else would.

Tariq insists that I have a gift and I should exploit it. After that I gave the guitar back to Tariq and we talked a bit when I see the tie dyed wired guy come riding up to Tariq on a skateboard eyeballing me and angrily asking Tariq if I was a cop.

Twice he asked and twice he was told no I wasn’t a cop.

Tie dyed wired guy was very upset since his friend or his father was beaten up by a female police officer the other night and this guy wants to go beat up some cops. Whatever good feeling that existed around me and Tariq was gone when this guy tore off on his skateboard looking for information on his friend/father. Mood killer he was.

Ominous clouds rolled in, Tariq was now pretty much drunk and I was still hungry.

A friend who watches us play some times stopped by asking what we were doing on a Wednesday afternoon. Seems that he had been looking for us on Sundays. I wasn’t out there on Sunday and Tariq has been busy elsewhere.

The friend did remember that he owed me 50¢ for a bet we made when we last saw each other. I forgot but he didn’t. The bet was over the fact that Albert Hammond wrote It Never Rains in Southern California, and he is the father of one of the Strokes.

Nice of him to remember and I walked home, once step ahead of the drizzle with 50¢ more than I had when I left.

Lost was very good last night. Final episode, this Sunday at 7PM. I guess it will be a four hour broadcast with recaps and whatnot.
5.19.10
tariq 5.19.10
10.19.10 002
10.19.10 003

For Christ Sake

A rainy day and I’m not bitter. I was bitter yesterday and a tad resentful but time heals most wounds and I’m feeling alright. Definitely did not go out and play guitar today, and definitely did not respond to any acting/singing/monologue improvisation suggestions.

Today with the weather and the melatonin, made for getting out of bed quite difficult. I remember Bill leaning over me, kissing me goodbye and telling me how good I looked and then back to sleep, eventually waking up to the sounds of the Electric Light Orchestra singing Telephone Line.

That brought me back to 1976, being in a car with a kid, Paul Gaulvin, who lived a block or so away from me in Rochelle Park. I didn’t know Paul Gaulvin at all and was sort of forced into being his friend by my father who worked with Paul’s father in some capacity.

Paul’s mother was driving us somewhere when Telephone Line came on the radio. The mother was the boss of that household, the father your basic milquetoast. I believe there was an older sister in Paul’s life and they fit the nuclear template quite well, Paul and his sister fighting like cats and dogs.

Ultimately Paul and I never had much in common. We experimented with cigarettes when we were 14 years old and I remember Paul buying a pack of Camels saying that they were good because they had hashish in them.

Though Paul and I went to the same high school, we really didn’t hang out with each other, he was in a smarter class and I wasn’t. I also remember the last time I hung out with Paul, at his graduation party 29 years ago, where I got so drunk that I fell flat on my back.

There I was talking to someone and next thing I knew, I was looking up at the sky. Paul’s mother made sure I got home safely, having Paul and maybe someone else walk me home over the Route 80 overpass. Last night Bill came home just in time to catch the 11:00 news.

He asked me if I had heard from my brother Frank and I said I hadn’t. I fell into the old family trap of ‘I’m always calling him. Why should I call again?’ That in turn prompted a discussion of my family, how things were different for Frank being the oldest and me being the youngest.

Basically, by the time I came of age my parents were tired of raising kids and I was left pretty much to myself. Of course I was also living a double life, a life that my family still doesn’t know about. And that’s probably how it should be.

Somethings are better off unknown.

I do recall telling Frank about some aspect of my growing up and living a secret life and that flipped him out quite a bit. That was then, this is now and I live a quiet life, content to stay at home and watch TV.

And tonight I will be watching the penultimate episode of Lost which will hopefully be an improvement on last week’s episode.

In the hallway

In the hallway


in the rain

in the rain