Despite what may have happened I have no idea how all this blood got all over everything. It is truly bizarre. Everything seemed to be going so nicely. I spoke to Mary Ellen who is usually so competent in matters like this, but when the parrot started squawking, that’s when she lost it totally.

I do have to admit that I never saw Mary Ellen actually attack the bird, though once it was over both of the dogs and the cat were silent, transfixed on the carnage. That’s when I supposed their blood lust kicked in and suddenly they all turned on each other with Mary Ellen in the middle.

What could’ve made the animals behave in such a manner? What made Mary Ellen freak out? And why attack a parrot that she had grown to know and love and occasionally take to bed with her?

Yes, It was a strange sight to walk in on her and the parrot when I came home. Her cooing and the parrots squawking was unsettling to say the least. To hear Mary Ellen talking in her sleep, offering a cracker to the parrot was gut wrenching. I turned and shuffled and slept with the dogs and the cat.

At least I felt welcome there.

I should have seen the signs, yet it seemed all so innocent. I’ve seen people take parrots out on the street, exotic birds and what have you, but I’d never seen anyone go to the bathroom with a parrot on their shoulder. Not even in pirate movies.

I must’ve been blind when the night that was supposed to be ‘our’ night at the movies turned out to have been orchestrated by the parrot. So much so that Mary Ellen smuggled the parrot in her bag and when the lights went down she propped him on her shoulder and fed him popcorn that I had paid for. I could’ve made a fuss when she insisted on no butter or salt and the older popcorn would be fine rather than the freshly popped.

But I just kept my mouth shut. I sat on her right and the parrot had the left side. Thankfully no one sat behind us, but towards the end of the film, the usher shined a flashlight at the parrot and we had to make a hasty exit. To this day, I have no idea how the Passion of the Christ ended.

The parrot shit nearly hit the fan though when Mary Ellen brought the parrot to church one Sunday morning. When she approached the altar for communion with the parrot on her shoulder and insisted on a wafer for the bird, I could’ve sworn the priest was going to throw her and the parrot out right then and there. But he gave the parrot some Eucharist and they walked right back to their pew. The parrot turned it’s head and said ‘Body of Christ Squawk’ for at least a half hour.

And now, there’s no parrot, just Mary Ellen, two dogs and a cat all covered with the blood of a parrot. And cracker crumbs that I have to clean up.