10.10.05 The Selecter

An odd change of events. I’ve been sending out my resume for a few weeks now, ever since Bleedin’ Hope told me my head was on the block, which she denied a few days later. I told her to go ahead and fire me. She didn’t, so I’ve been surfing the web, sending out resume after resume and not getting much feedback at all. That was disconcerting. And a good number of jobs I was looking at all had pay a lot lower than what I was making.

It really sucks. I had been working at Wanker Banker, almost 3 years to the day. Tuesday. I started out working with Risotto and Jigglepuss. They both left for greener and browner pastures respectively. I saw a few people come and go, to the point where after 3 years, I was old school. I saw the changes in how things were being done, and basically became my own boss.

Old friends would probably chuckle at the thought of me being my own boss, after all, they’ve known the lazy and shiftless John O’Toole, who always looked for the get over. But that was me. It really isn’t me anymore. If you want to pay me to work, I will actually work. Gone are the days of Murdock, doing drugs in the slide room with the Queens Posse. They were actually from Queens NY, not part of Elizabeth R’s battalion, nor an offshoot of the Pink Panthers. They were fun, and we successfully killed many brain cells.

There were other jobs that I had were I measured my happiness at the job by looking at various workers and thinking, ‘Wow, that guy scrapping gum off the sidewalk has a better gig than I do’.

But it had changed the past couple of years and I really started to bloom at work. I did many things that were generally noticed and appreciated. Gradually the appreciation waned, to the point of where I’m at now.
So the big ol’ National Bank Of Wishful Thinking is flexing its muscle and nibbling away at Wanker Banker. And with me in their sights, it’s time that I started to look.

Lately they’ve been starting to look back. I had an interview last Wednesday that I thought went well, and then didn’t think it went well. Today I hear that they want me to meet the realty company, maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow I have another interview at 3, then the realty company at 5

Then possibly a 2nd interview with the Staffing Agency that I interviewed with today. That was a fiasco that worked to my advantage. I wound up sitting there for nearly 30 minutes until the counselor came out and saw me. I spoke with her for 5 minutes and her boss for 5 minutes. They want to see me, possibly Thursday. It would be working for them, manning their front desk. The sticking point can be salary. I want what I want, what I make now (being me I never sell myself at a high price) and they were thinking 4 to 7 thousand less.

I’m in such a holding pattern and the planes are stacking up. What the hell does that mean?
Perhaps, I should be an Air Traffic Controller. Nah, hate uniforms and love to wear suits.
Julio just called, and I told him what was going on. He believes in me, says I can do better. I believe him, though I don’t believe in myself.

‘Sometimes I think I’m god, but then again I’m an atheist, so therefore I don’t believe in myself.’

10.10.05