Tombstone Blues

Ok. At the end of August the company that makes Gauloises, stopped making Gauloises. The people that were most identifiable, Sartre, Gainsbourg, Camus are all dead. The men that used to smoke Gauloises, (meaning me and old French men) have been declining in number though no one knows exactly why. So they stopped making them. At least in France. They supposedly are moving the operations to Spain, but so far I haven’t seen any products. I guess there is me and someone else in NYC that smokes them. Someone had hit the major tobacconists in my area of midtown. That left me with down town and surprisingly enough they are still available. So I’ve been stocking up, buying them a box of six at a time.

So tonight after work I hopped on the N train to Union Square and stopped by Farfetched on my way to tobacco heaven. Sharon Jorrin and Lois were working and it was good to see them. I was on a manic high and highly entertaining, or so I think. Lois looked great, as did Sharon. Lois said I should stop smoking, and I replied with all the drama happening in my life right now, I need as many crutches as I can get. Legal ones at least. Lois also wanted to know what was going on in my life and instead of telling her, I referred her to this blog.

I left and walked a few blocks to the store, and I expected to be disappointed. That seems to be a good way to approach my situation. Because I wasn’t disappointed. Only had enough cash for one box but that was fine with me. Made my purchase and rolled two cigarettes in the store and bid them a good night.

Then I walked over to 9th Street and 6th avenue to catch the PATH. Bowie on the IPod. Got in the first car, which turned out to be the car with no air conditioning. There were some very humpy guys in the car. That made me think of what else, Bill. I had an excellent chat online last night and it got me thinking, perhaps an open relationship is the way to go. We both love each other very much, but I am no longer sexually attractive to Bill. I have found that there are plenty of other guys that are sexually attracted to me.

A wonderful boost to the ego. I can play around with whomever I want to, and still come home to the one I love. And he can go play with whomever he wants to play with. Perhaps men aren’t monogamous. It was tough to maintain that monogamy. I did, Bill couldn’t. So this is maybe the way to go. And with the guy I was chatting with last night, maybe it really is. It was quite a hot chat and we barely got into the details. I tell you, I am coming out of my virginal year and 2 month period of abstinence.

Look out New York, this is your last chance.

10.18.05

10.18.05 Hey Hey My My Yo Yo

Ok. I started posting my writings yesterday. Some trepidation, but I forged on ahead. I usually get hung up on names. How should I change them, who is who, etc. I mean, I’d really get hung up, but decided against it this time. Damn the torpedoes. I did entertain a paranoid fantasy that some child of Helen “Natalie from the Facts of Life” Devilakos would google her name and up would come all the nasty things (warranted of course) that I had written about her.

Then there was the Bill factor. I didn’t want to hurt him. He is being supportive of me, but I have written some of my innermost ‘things’ and they include him. So I expect him to be hurt or angry. Julio, threatened to sue me, but I think he came to his senses when he realized that I have nothing to sue over.

Pedro loved the idea. Of course he did. He is also supportive of me, and I am of him. It’s a nice situation. Don’t think he’s visited the website yet. Julio did and wrote some comments. One or two that I had deleted because they were just so mean. Let him get his own blog, I say!

Of course, I wondered about bleedin’ Hope. She’s vainglorious enough to constantly Google her name several times a day probably, so for her it’s merely a matter of time. Bill’s wonderful best friend, Margaret emailed me today, wanting to know what is going on with me. I mentioned how I miss Bill and sometimes hear his phantom footsteps coming up the stairs to the apartment.

Then I figured, “Hey! I wrote that already” and sent her the link. No comments thus far, though I haven’t checked yet. Annemarie, my dear sister, got the link also but couldn’t connect. I replied that the link worked for me, but half heartedly tried to dissuade her from reading it, saying it’s ‘just a lot of stuff you probably don’t want to know about me’.

Drugs, drinking and hopefully illicit sex. Of course, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. Done the drugs, had enough to drink, but still no illicit sex.

Kissing Chris Hammer doesn’t really count, especially since he never showed up last night. No biggie, though I used to be so much luckier before the Internet. I don’t know who else has read it. I did send a big email and mentioned johnozed.com, but if there’s a way to tell how many ‘hits’ I’ve gotten, I simply don’t know about it.

The Rod2.0 blog that I read most days is a lot of fun. I sent him an email telling him so, and he thanked me for the compliment and looked forward to my blog.

If he compares his blog to mine, boy, will he be disappointed, but he does have quite a lead on me. I should’ve started this a while ago, right after bringing world peace and curing cancer, but I never got around to it. It’s all in the timing I guess.