Tombstone Blues

Ok. At the end of August the company that makes Gauloises, stopped making Gauloises. The people that were most identifiable, Sartre, Gainsbourg, Camus are all dead. The men that used to smoke Gauloises, (meaning me and old French men) have been declining in number though no one knows exactly why. So they stopped making them. At least in France. They supposedly are moving the operations to Spain, but so far I haven’t seen any products. I guess there is me and someone else in NYC that smokes them. Someone had hit the major tobacconists in my area of midtown. That left me with down town and surprisingly enough they are still available. So I’ve been stocking up, buying them a box of six at a time.

So tonight after work I hopped on the N train to Union Square and stopped by Farfetched on my way to tobacco heaven. Sharon Jorrin and Lois were working and it was good to see them. I was on a manic high and highly entertaining, or so I think. Lois looked great, as did Sharon. Lois said I should stop smoking, and I replied with all the drama happening in my life right now, I need as many crutches as I can get. Legal ones at least. Lois also wanted to know what was going on in my life and instead of telling her, I referred her to this blog.

I left and walked a few blocks to the store, and I expected to be disappointed. That seems to be a good way to approach my situation. Because I wasn’t disappointed. Only had enough cash for one box but that was fine with me. Made my purchase and rolled two cigarettes in the store and bid them a good night.

Then I walked over to 9th Street and 6th avenue to catch the PATH. Bowie on the IPod. Got in the first car, which turned out to be the car with no air conditioning. There were some very humpy guys in the car. That made me think of what else, Bill. I had an excellent chat online last night and it got me thinking, perhaps an open relationship is the way to go. We both love each other very much, but I am no longer sexually attractive to Bill. I have found that there are plenty of other guys that are sexually attracted to me.

A wonderful boost to the ego. I can play around with whomever I want to, and still come home to the one I love. And he can go play with whomever he wants to play with. Perhaps men aren’t monogamous. It was tough to maintain that monogamy. I did, Bill couldn’t. So this is maybe the way to go. And with the guy I was chatting with last night, maybe it really is. It was quite a hot chat and we barely got into the details. I tell you, I am coming out of my virginal year and 2 month period of abstinence.

Look out New York, this is your last chance.

10.18.05