Tag Archives: The Trouble with Vowels

A-E-I-O-U

Last night was rather nice. Bill came home and Juan stopped by. Juan was in town for his mother’s birthday and being the good son that he is he attended the festivities. What a good boy. He came over while I was watching John Adams, the final chapter. I knew how it ended, I just wanted to know how they were going to handle it. Little known fact, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day.

That day was July 4, 1826, fifty years after the Declaration of Independence. It’s been said that John Adams’ last words were, ‘Thomas Jefferson survives!’. I had heard that before and noticed they had included that in John Adam’s deathbed scene. Still with all that going on, I enjoyed Juan’s company as well as Bill’s. It was almost like old times. And by old times I mean a year or so ago. So old times, like time itself is relative I suppose.

After John Adams joined his dear Abigail we watched The Big Gay Sketch Show on Logo. Logo is the gay channel and we hardly ever watch it. I felt some levity was in order after all that. Bill enjoyed it guffawing throughout, I chuckled, Juan stared. I don’t know if Juan liked it or thought it was funny. Not cerebral comedy, but not pie in the face comedy.

Then we watched The Guide to Recognizing Household Saints. An unwieldy title and we missed the first half hour. It was ok, though it took me a while to figure out they were flash forwarding back and forth, Shia Le Beouf as the young Robert Downey Jr. We all agreed that Robert Downey Jr is hot and we wouldn’t have any problem getting him in bed, provided he was willing.

Juan left before it ended, having to drive back to Trenton and school today. I went to bed shortly after that, Bill staying up to watch who knows what. It was nice last night, sleeping with the windows open, but this morning was quite chilly. I was up at 6:00 and off to work, in the office at 8:00 on the dot. The office was empty, I was in a good mood setting things up.

People came in, unhappy it was Monday again but willing to get to work. I even saw Ronald Wanker, former owner of Wanker Banker on the street outside my building. Chatted with him for a few minutes, he complimented me saying that I was looking good. Bangin’ isn’t in his vocabulary.

Oh that Tom Chin, that thorn in my side, that shard of glass on the beach. Tom Chin had a colonoscopy last week which unfortunately went well. He is sure to live a long time, because like that Billy Joel fella once sang, ‘We didn’t start the fire.’ no wait, it wasn’t that. It’s Only The Good Die Young. Yes it’s gotten to the point where I am quoting Billy Joel. Interpret my state of mind if you will.

Today’s drama come courtesy of Tom Chin. First he started with a crack about the files that he couldn’t find back in January, the files that were in my desk when I was out sick. I let it slide. One of my tasks is to itemize the bills when they come in the mail. Today there was a phone bill. It was overdue. This is were it gets weird. Tom Chin has the worst handwriting known to man.

In March a bill came across my desk from Tom Chin, on it was written what looked like ‘un-auto pay’. So on March 13 I called the phone company and canceled the auto pay. Things have been tight financially and I figured this was a way that he was trying to save money for the company.

The overdue bill went to Tom Chin with my notation on it mentioning that March hadn’t been paid. He came over to my desk, saying why wasn’t this paid? He never canceled the auto pay. I showed him the note on the previous bill and he said it was a note to the bookkeeper, that the bill was ON auto pay.

His handwriting is so terrible, and with the fact that an ‘O’ is always a closed circle, this had the appearance of a ‘U’. He went off, yelling, ‘What the fuck is wrong with me? My handwriting isn’t illiterate!’ I told him it wasn’t illiterate, it was illegible. I spent the last half hour on the phone with the phone company trying to reinstate the auto pay. It should be taken care of on Wednesday when the bitch ass Tom Chin will be out.

He’ll also be out on Friday as well. The odd thing is, I didn’t get upset. Other coworkers came up and asked what that was about and I should them Tom Chin’s note, asking if they thought it was an ‘O’ or a ‘U’. They all said ‘U’. I didn’t get upset, I finished my job for the day and walked out of the office, enjoying my Padron as I walked west across town. I couldn’t help but think how Tom Chin must have felt, finally developing a functional scrotum.

In other news, I read over the weekend that men who masturbated a few times a week in their twenties greatly reduce their chances for prostate cancer later in their lives. I know I definitely had that covered then. Hopefully Tom Chin was brought up to believe that was a sin and being a good catholic never did that sort of thing.

Oh and Annemarie finally saw the History Boys DVD!