Category Archives: Whats for lunch?

I Rep That West

Late night text from Israel, he of the cigar shop, asking if I could come in this week. Israel anticipates last minute shoppers since we are now in what can be called the homestretch for Christmas. And with nothing better to do, I agreed. My cigar supply has been low so here was an opportunity to do something about that, plus help out these Zionist hoodlums I am friendly with. I’ve taken to calling Israel and Shlomo that even though neither one is a Zionist nor a hoodlum. It’s always guaranteed a chuckle when I call them that as they curse me in Hebrew.

Unfortunately it’s quite cold and very damp outside so not much foot traffic is occurring. I’m sure if they were in a shopping mall in midtown Manhattan there might be foot traffic but that might not be the case. So I’ve been keeping myself busy, like a threatening Kevin from a previous life somewhere used to say exactly, ‘If you’re leanin’ you ain’t cleanin’’. Quite the wordsmith he was, I wonder whatever happened to his screenwriting career? I busied myself cleaning, running some quick errands and mopping. No cleaning lady here, it’s all hands on deck.

Bill was off to Boston or to be exact, Framingham on Saturday and Sunday. I went up to Framingham a few times when growing up, my father had a buddy from World War II and we used to visit his family. It was like visiting another world, they had stores called Stop & Shop up there, so exotic. I learned how to shoot a bow and arrow and was gifted one when we headed back to NJ. I fancied myself a huntsman and set up a target with an old mattress and some bullseyes drawn by me in the guise of monsters.

Our neighbor John B was quite good with a bow and arrow, shooting his targets from the opposite end on his driveway. Me, I could barely hit the mattress from 10 feet away in my backyard. It was fun while it lasted but ultimately a solitary sport and I would rather hang out with my friends. Bill did have a good time while in Framingham and was back last night full of tales of New England to tell. Bill delicately chewed my ear off and I didn’t mind in the slightest. It was good to have him home again.

I did go out myself on Saturday night, Julio picking me up and we headed to his place. No trip to Denmark for Him and Stine and Alexander this season. Her family are coming to Hoboken. Alexander stayed up waiting for me, past his bedtime and he was the funny little guy he always is, hiding from me when I first got there and Julio and Stine acting like they had no idea where he was. Soon he was asleep as the grown ups drank wine and chatted. Good time, good people and good wine. Is that too much to ask for?

I had some encounters with some Hoboken bloggers, I’m not naming names one I removed from the blogroll and the other is still there. I was surprised to find that one of the bloggers had President Obama as Heath Ledger’s Joker on his page, no irony involved. We have similar political affiliations here in the mile square city, but I guess nationally for him it’s ‘time to get yer guns’ I was chatting with him and a mutual friend on the mutual friend’s Facebook wall when I was alarmed by his pro-gun stance and once I knew who it was, had to remove him from the blogroll.

The other blogger came into the cigar shop while I was sitting there for Shlomo one afternoon. He was taking photographs and asking questions. I answered the questions that get asked several times a day, ‘a cigar lounge will be in the basement soon enough’. Well answering that question got the attention of the health department who visited and insisted that they told ME weeks ago that a cigar lounge couldn’t be done.

I can tell you that even though it was a night like this, 10 years ago I never hitched a ride with the truck driving woman from City Hall, nor have I ever spoken with her. Israel is a bit upset that city hall read the blog which is where they got their information on the cigar shop.

Oh me and the blogs. Whatever will happen next?
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I Really Taught Me To Watusi

Yes I did not post yesterday. It was a friggin’ holiday and I decided to not write, which in turn gave you all (both of you) the opportunity to not read. A ‘win win’ situation wouldn’t you say? I know I would. Yesterday was very much a mellow day, Bill was home the night before after driving to Massachusetts and back. Sleep came fairly easy, dreams somewhat disturbing. I was up earlier than expected thanks to some neighbors taking advantage of rebuilding after the storm to remodel their apartments without building permits and it sounded like a basketball game was in progress.

I’m sure there are a few people in town avoiding the building permit scene and doing whatever remodeling they could do. Some people are definitely in need of rebuilding but in my building a tenant is merely trying to make room for his wife moving back in. So being up early allowed me to go to the supermarket nearby to get a few things before the Thanksgiving last minute rush kicked in. I got a few things and then headed home where I had a nice breakfast. Bill was still asleep when I came back and of course I let him sleep.

He eventually got up and got himself together. The plan was the same as last year, dinner at Oscar’s Brasserie in the Waldorf Astoria. We started going there two years ago with Hyman Gross. He used to go with his lady friend and since she passed away we decided to treat Hyman. I was working then so it was doable. Then Hyman passed away and we went to honor Hyman. I don’t know if we’ll go again next year. We get dressed up to find no one else is dressed up. The food is great though.

After dinner a walk across town back to the bus terminal as we smoked our cigars. Someone blessed me with a few Cubans so it was especially enjoyable. Not too long of a wait for the bus and not too many people. A couple of hours after we left Hoboken for dinner, we were back in Hoboken, sated. Not much on the television so we watched a Harry Potter marathon which Bill seemed to enjoy. I of course told him to pay attention at certain points just so he would know who was who and what was what. It helped somewhat.

Soon it was bedtime for the Bonzos. Bill slumbered off first and I joined him shortly thereafter. This morning Bill was up first and out and about. I woke up to an empty apartment. I knew Bill was driving tonight and had no idea where he was. He soon came home, after spending some time talking with the neighbors. I showered and had some coffee that Bill made. He came home with more groceries and things he was going to need for the drive tonight. We spent some good time together before he headed out leaving me in solitude.

I unfortunately couldn’t help but feed the trolls. It seems a woman was photographed at Arlington Cemetery giving the finger to a sign that requested silence and respect. Yes, she flipped the bird to a sign. This of course cost her her job because she was disrespecting the dead, soldiers and veterans all at the same time by flipping off an inanimate sign. Oh she has stalkers after her, true ‘patriots’ screaming that she should go to Iran. You can just smell the tea and semen on their chins as they type.

And me being me, went to this woman’s defense. Yes it was a stupid joke, but ultimately it was harmless. ‘I have 37.5 relatives in national cemeteries and blah blah blah.’ Truly pathetic. I was slandered as well for pointing out the hypocrisy of terrible spellers. Pedro felt obliged to intervene and request that I stop feeding these trolls, and eventually I did.

I am quite glad there was no internet when I visited Ford’s Theater with my family in the 1960’s.

I also saw Shlomo at the smoke scene. He was hanging out with some guy named MJ. I just gave Shlomo a book that I’ve had for the past couple of years about cigars and tobacco, a handbook of sorts for tobacconists. I wasn’t using it as anything besides a doorstop and figured Shlomo would be better off with it than me. I think he figured I was angling for a free cigar but with the Cuban bounty that washed up on our doorstep, I could afford to walk off with a simple handshake. I don’t think Shlomo is used to someone like me, just being kind for no particular reason.





I’m The Urban Spaceman