Author Archives: johnozed

About johnozed

I'm 50+ years old, 210-ish#, 6'2", reddish blonde, blue eyes with glasses (and without) masculine, funny, relatively intelligent, enjoy the company of assorted friends and family especially sordid friends and family. I love music, reading, writing, conversing, laughing, going to films, shows, concerts and smoking cigars. And I also enjoy looking nice in a suit and tie. Looking more like Lewis Lapham than Tom Wolfe. I'm sure there is more, but we'll just have to find out when I write about it. In a lifetime relationship with partner Bill Vila.

The Weight

What’s with the early posts? Actually, these aren’t early posts. They’re written earlier but sometimes, like last night, posted later. Tonight since I am meeting up with Lois DiLivio and going to see Inglourious Basterds I thought I would get an early start.

Last night I came home, Bill was awfully quiet. Beating himself up for not getting the part that he auditioned for. I chalk it up to nerves, but it’s not my blackboard and not my chalk. It wasn’t easy sitting a few feet away from him and I guess it wasn’t easy sitting a few feet away from me, which is why he went into another room and shut the door.

I only wanted to help bolster his flagging spirits and end his self-flagellation. But he wasn’t into it and you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. He went to bed early enough and I stayed up until midway through Craig Ferguson.

He was up and out before me of course, off to work for our Bill. He gave me a nice kiss so I guess he is on the mend. I didn’t speak to him after that until he gave me a call around noon, telling me that he wanted to hear the sound of my voice and that he loved me.

So he’s progressing and perhaps learning from his mistakes. Before Bill called, I got a phone call from my brother frank, who had 2 words to say to me. Not, ‘drop dead’ nor ‘bad mood?’ but rather ‘I’m sorry’. I don’t know where that came from, prompting from Elaine? His shrink? Or perhaps he read what I had written the other day.

I, of course accepted his apology and that was that.

It’s been quite a humid day this day of Equinox, 12 hours of day, 12 hours of night. Perhaps the equinox helped Frank and Bill out or perhaps they worked it out for themselves. It’s quite humid here, the first full day of Autumn.

No haircuts today since barbers are closed on Wednesday. I asked about that a few years ago with Tony, my barber. He said all barbers close on Wednesday. I told him growing up in Lodi, the barber was closed on Monday. That sounded like crazy talk to him and it didn’t go much further than that. My hair is manageable though and no need to fret about it.

My old work neighborhood is under lock down again due to the UN Security Council holding their meetings. The President is staying at the Waldorf Astoria which is right around the block from my old office.

That would have been a thrill but since I’m not there anymore, not so much. Lot’s of protesters around so while I sit in Hoboken thinking that’s it’s quite exciting to be there, if I was there I’d more than likely be complaining what a pain in the ass it is to get around with the lock downs and restrictions.

That’s about it for now, it’s 4:27PM. Maybe I’ll write about the movie and spending time with Lois when I get back tonight. Inglourious Basterds was all that and a bag of chip. Entertaining revenge movie. More about it tomorrow, it’s late, I’m tired and it’s hummus out and it’s 10:47PM..

Song to the Siren

Gee I wonder if I should have marked on the calendar that this is Fucked Up Week on the 4:30 Movie. With the bullshit I jumped into on Sunday with the UK wanker, to yesterday’s butting heads with my brother and now today.

Bill had an audition this afternoon and I’ve been most supportive, trying to build up his confidence. But the fact that I mentioned Karaoke coming up this Saturday may have set him off his game. The audition did not go as well as planned and from what I gathered the Karaoke idea made him nervous.

At least that’s what I understood from his phone call after the audition when he was back at his desk talking to me through his headset which lends itself to lousy connections.

And it’s only Tuesday. What fresh hell awaits me for the rest of the week?

Already today, I decided to get a haircut. My man Tony a few doors down at Mr. L’s Barber Shop was standing outside with no one to sit in his chair. I see Tony, walk over and say hello and tell him I was running up to Washington Street to get some money for a haircut and to save me a spot as I’ll be back in 5 minutes.

Sure enough 5 minutes later, there is someone in the chair, someone who wasn’t me. That’s OK, I live close by and schlep up the four flights of stairs again and chill out. I get hungry and figure that I do have a plan to meet a former co-worker, Brenda for a drink after she gets out of work.

It’s always best to have some food in the system before drinking and I opt for 2 slices of pizza which is doughy and greasy enough to sit in my stomach for hours, negating the need for bar food at a costly price.

On the way I walk by Mr L’s again and sure enough there is someone else in the chair. So basically, I won’t be getting a haircut today. Not that I really need one, I look OK just wanted a trim to tidy things up a bit.

The main thing on my mind today is from what I understood as Bill saying that asking if he would be available for Karaoke on Saturday unnerved him enough to have a bad audition. Right now I feel that going to Karaoke this weekend would be a bad idea, financially and with my mindset today, a terrible idea.

This has been a truly crappy week and it’s only Tuesday.

I am just in a foul mood today. I sometimes complain that there is no one around to do anything with but right now I am very cool with that. I don’t even want to meet up for drinks, not that I don’t want to see Brenda, just that I don’t think I would make for good company.

We’ll see.

Once I get into the city that can all change and it usually does. It’s a perfectly gray sky today. No sun to be seen, hidden behind dense layers of clouds. I’m tired of fighting the right wing today, the christianists who want to impose their way of life onto everyone in the guise of freedom of religion. I sign petitions, call my senators and representative but to what end?

I get free address labels from these organizations asking for money. I don’t use these labels and they usually get tossed in the bin. Perhaps if they ask people if they wanted these idiotic address labels they would save a ton of money since they wouldn’t have to print such useless items that wind up being shredded.

Their hearts are in the right place, and their eyes are on my wallet.

In any event I will be going out with Brenda since I don’t want to be here when Bill gets home. Whenever that may be. It’s ironic since I think today is the 9th anniversary of Bill and I meeting for the first time.

Well I just got back from drinks with Brenda. It was good as it always is. I can’t help but feel like the poor relation since she keeps picking up the tab. Lot’s of catching up, she and her man Danny, me and Bill.

Tried to keep it positive on all levels, on all topics, the economy, the job situation. It wasn’t easy but things got better after some pints. It was an enjoyable evening to spend with an old friend.

Then I came home to find a mumbling Bill, not really communicating, perhaps licking his wounds. My wounds are still fresh and thankfully we are out of salt.