October 4, a special day for my siblings and me. It’s our mother’s birthday who unfortunately is unable to spend the day or receive birthday wishes from us since she’s no longer with us. Her birthday was relatively special even though not much fanfare was involved since I’m sure plenty of times she had to make her own birthday cake. Add the fact that she was married to my father and if the day wasn’t about him as most of the year was all about him, there wasn’t much of a reason for my father to be interested in it.

That’s how it was on Riverview Avenue back then. I remember ‘borrowing’ money from my mother to buy her a present, maybe a crystal potato chip bowl with an attachment for dip from Modell’s or Two Guys, a bargain at 3.99. Or slippers. Or yet another housecoat. One never asked my father for money because there were usually too many questions involved and like I said, if it wasn’t a present for him, what was the point? My mom was great. She was a lot of fun and had a great sense of humor. I can almost feel her presence as I write this. She was well liked by a lot of people.

She was human, and she had her faults. She loved to read and that was ingrained in my brothers and my sister. I recall waking up as she puttered about the kitchen, smoking a Marlboro, in her house coat, making breakfast, or at least making sure we all had something to eat before we left the house for the day. I can almost hear her singing along to WNEW 1130AM, which was her favorite radio station. Ted Brown, Gene Klavin, and William B. Williams were her favorite deejays. She’d make coffee while listening to the ‘melodies that linger on’ from the 30’s, 40’s and occasional 50’s and sit at the table as we would scurry about trying to get out of the house before my father would make his mad dash for the train.

She was usually in the position between my brothers and my sister and our father, and would usually have to defer to his will while trying to smooth things out between warring factions. Still she always loved us unconditionally. She didn’t have it easy. She was the only girl brought up among 5 boys, a loving mother and an abusive alcoholic father in the Bronx. She was an attractive woman who always had plenty of friends around throughout her life. She loved movies like ‘Now Voyager’ and ‘Mrs. Miniver’. She didn’t like the singer Jo Stafford.

She did appreciate some of the pop music that we listened to. I still have a cassette tape I made for her in the seventies of easy listening pop songs by Linda Ronstadt. Paul McCartney and Elton John. One year she and my father had gotten into an argument and instead of everyone going to Lodi for her birthday, we all met at my brother Frank’s house in Garfield. My father was upset and didn’t come which was fine by just about everyone. It was a lovely time, no pretense. Such a lovely time and we were all so comfortable with each other that someone could’ve lit up a joint. Alas, she had to go home, back to my father.

I miss her. I am now forty four years old. My mother would’ve been 78 years old today. I learned a lot from my mother. She was great. I hope she’s having a good time out there in the universe.