In the distance car horns are blaring, whistles are blowing, police sirens going off. Italy has won the World Cup. All of that was preceded by firecrackers going off steadily for about a half hour. It’s been a beautiful day and I do plan to go outside and enjoy it. Been cooped up inside both physically and somewhat emotionally. Day started out fraught with tension and came to a head (as it were) just around late morning.

Just a very deep and intense talk with Bill. Harrowing. And to top it all off I was supposed to call my sister while I was expecting her to call me. Crossed wires, bad communication. I was planning on taking a train to Garfield, where my brother Frank lives, but when I finally heard from Annemarie, she was just leaving Garfield. Then I hoped that I could take a train to Teterboro and meet her by my niece’s apartment, but that rail line doesn’t run on Sundays.

Bill and I talked things through. Talked each other in off the ledge. Annemarie headed back to Garfield, and offered to take me back to Bokeyland if I wanted to catch a train out there. I said No thanks, I didn’t want her driving all over the place. She would’ve with no problem, but I just didn’t think it would be worth the trouble. And immediately after I hung up the phone felt even worse. And it’s such a beautiful day. Feeling blue on a sunny day sucks.

Bill is at his folks and I’m just farting around the apartment. Lot’s of Italians in the Hoboken area. Lot’s of car horns. It’s not because of Bill that I’m blue, on the contrary I think things might be looking up. I’m more blue about not going to Garfield. There are probably car horns aplenty in Garfield, but I’m not hearing them for I was feeling sorry for myself. I’ve just eaten though and feel much better. Still mad at myself for not calling Annemarie though.

With Bill there were a few tears and a few angry feelings. We ran the gamut. We talked about what’s the point of going to see Philip Beansprout if we’re not going to take his advice under consideration? I mean we talk for an hour or two after the session then it seems we part ways mentally and go back into our old habits. That’s why we talked today. I didn’t go on Friday, Bill went solo and really didn’t get into what his session was like. He is starting to feel that he should go to these sessions solo, I don’t totally agree with that.

We talked about splitting up which is something neither one of us wants to do. Very Gladys Knight and the Pips. But not that sad, having just read the lyrics. There’s still hope, more hope than what’s in that song, no matter how great Gladys Knight belts it out. We both love each other so damn much and there was a sparkle of lust before he headed to his folks. Now there’s just performance anxiety.

And the car horns and the whistles keep blowing.

Just got back from Sandy Hook. Spent the day at the beach with Annemarie and Earl. I was up at about 7:45 this morning. Most of my Saturday chores were done last night, so all I had to do was get the papers and bagels. Annemarie wanted to leave closer to 9:00, I was aiming for 10:00 but ready for 9 just in case. It worked out that she didn’t start moving until 9:00 so I got the beach things together at my leisure.

I even had enough time to get my monthly haircut at Mr. L’s. I’ve been going to Mr. L’s for a while now, once a month get my hair chopped off. It grows thick and is like a helmet during the summer. Plus short hair is no muss and no fuss. I sat in the chair while Tony clipped and shaved and buzzed, giving me a decent fade, which I think is sexy. And he takes the time to try to clip out the white hairs in my goatee while he trims it into a workable shape. Sort of like landscaping on my face.

He earns a good tip after wielding a straight razor and not slicing any major arteries or ears. I was able to have a good breakfast, the weekend special, eggs, coffee and bagels. Not so humdrum, I enjoy it. Puttered about and did my thing, reading the papers. Chatted with Juan online, eventually the buzzer buzzed and it was Earl. They made it to Hoboken and soon enough we were on the road.

I wasn’t really sure Sandy Hook would be open but it worked out fine. We got there around noon, having stopped off for sandwiches and liquids for the beach. Nothing alcoholic, since Annemarie couldn’t drink since she was driving, Earl was too young to drink and Julio wasn’t around. I could’ve bought and finished a six pack on my own for sure, but opted not to. I really haven’t been drinking much lately. No one to drink with anyway. And since you can’t smoke in the bars anymore, well forget it.

We headed toward North Beach, next to Gunnison Beach which was featuring the wrong people on the nude beach. Keep in mind I sometimes like to have sex, almost fully clothed, so I’m certainly not singling out any particular body type or genitals. Gunnison is such a draw that a lot of people will park a mile away in the North Beach parking lot and walk so they can lose their clothes. This fills up the North Beach parking lot and made us have to walk a mile to get to the proper beach.

It was nice, not crowded like Sea Bright was on June 18. A few families, but enough space between umbrellas and beach blankets to afford some privacy. It was a gorgeous day, sun was bright and warm, it wasn’t humid and there was a nice light breeze. Earl, Annemarie and I threw the Frisbee a few times. Jumped in the water with Earl, Annemarie thought it was too cold. It was initially but within a minute your body could acclimate to the temperature.

Had a lot of fun swimming and playing with Earl. He’s such a good kid. Great imagination and a good student to boot. And he’s creeping up on me in height. He passed his mother years ago when he was eight. We left the beach around 5:00 and decided to head to Red Bank to a vegan restaurant called Down to Earth which for me was alright. For Annemarie and Earl who are vegetarians it was perfect. Annemarie would’ve been willing to go to a place where I could probably get a burger, but I was game for something new, and when she comes back east, they really don’t have many veggie options. I knew that there would be SOMETHING for me to eat on the menu. I settled on Soba Noodles with Peanut Sauce. Thai-esque, but I wouldn’t have minded some chicken. It would’ve been fantastic with chicken.

Here it is a few hours later, just got off the phone with Annemarie who is back at Brian’s house. I joked with her earlier that I would go home and make a burger for dinner, but the noodles were enough. I’m still full. But maybe it’s the chocolate chip mocha latte ice cream we all had while walking around Red Bank. Before we had the ice cream Annemarie and I checked out a men’s clothing store. Oh it was great to be looking at suits again. Oh how I miss them. It was fun to be looking at suits with Annemarie. I don’t think I ever did that before.

And here are some pics