Monthly Archives: July 2006

Cruiser’s Creek

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Oh the disliking of the job hit new highs or lows actually today. Granted I was the one who messed up sending something via FedEx priority overnight when it should have actually been first delivery overnight. A matter of two hours, which conspired to make me look like the biggest idiot on the east coast. Okay, the third biggest idiot, no wait, maybe the 101st biggest idiot discounting all the idiots running things down in Washington DC. I’m nowhere in their league.

That made me feel like shit. Also just tired of these people, I don’t like many of them, only have one or two friends. And I have to satisfy them all. I am their support staff. It’s a weird situation that’s for sure. I still say good morning and I do it in a cheerful manner, and it’s acknowledged by some, and ignored by others. And me being me, when I’m ignored, well keeping in line with the Smiths/Morrissey fixation in the back of my mind, quoting Moz, ‘The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get’.

Yes, typical Morrissey psychosis, and when they ignore me the next day I say, “GOOD MORNING MINA” or whomever. What am I looking for? A hard time? To get fired? No, I am just not being rude. I’m trying to have fun with a most absurd situation. But for me, the job is wearing me down and it’s affecting my real life and that sucks because it’s affecting me and the time that I spend with Annemarie and Earl, and Bill as well.

Tonight Bill picked me up after work in a rented car and we drove out to have dinner with Annemarie and Earl. I usually get a decompression time after work, but hadn’t yesterday and definitely not today especially when I needed to decompress more than ever. Bill was good, driving around the city doing a great job while I babbled on about this and that at McMann and Tate.

I also have to admit I do not do well in high humidity and it was very humid out and I certainly wasn’t high. Talking to Earl I realize that I feel like shit and try to rise out of this funk for his sake. He doesn’t see me more than once a year, so I do want to make a good impression. I mustered some enthusiasm which was a relief to myself and more than likely, Earl.

I did my best to maintain some cheer for Annemarie. I should’ve had a beer. It would have taken the edge off. Or a jazz cigarette. It was a very nice dinner, my compliments to the chef. The heat and the humidity were doing me in though. I hung in there, listening to Bill tell his tales as entertaining as ever. I guess we make a pretty good team in that sense.

I was really looking forward to dinner. It would be great to be able to spend time with Annemarie and Earl. It’s just not a very good time with this nonsense at work I have to deal with and learn how to leave it at the office. Previous years I was able to take the time off for vacation and hang out with them. This year, new job, I get Thursday and Friday off. Better than nothing. Just have to do that much more so we can all have a good time. Or do nothing and not think of work at all for 96 hours. Better get to work on that.

I Started Something I Couldn’t Finish

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I was just checking my gmail when all of a sudden Hassen popped up. He’s a mate from Wanker Banker, great guy, very smart, IT dude. Great guy, a pleasant surprise, wonderful to come home after eating a nice Indian dinner with Annemarie and Earl at Karma Café in Hoboken. Annemarie is great we know we know, but Earl is something else. I see myself as a gangly teenager hanging out with some cool adults when I look at him.

It really is something else when you see someone grow up by leaps and bounds. I’m sure it’s different if the kid or kids are yours. I mean, you would see the kid everyday and probably not notice the changes, or maybe you would. But when you see someone every couple of months or once a year the change is startling. I’m 6’2” and Earl is creeping up on that fast.

It’s really great to have them around and once again I will miss them terribly when they go back to California. I wish I had enough money to buy them a house here in NJ. I wish I had enough money to buy ME a house with Bill. Oh where is that money that should rightfully be mine? Where did I put it, if I ever really had it? If not, when will I get the money that should be coming to me?

Went to work today, anticipating the return of Felicia who was working on projects on her vacation. Don’t think that she did much in the rest and relaxation department She surprised me by being the second person in the office after me. She’s usually an hour behind me but 10 minutes? Threw me for a loop that’s for sure. She inquired of course, about how the week went without her.

It wasn’t much of a work week, it was actually three days. She asked about Paula and I raved about what a good person she is. I think she took umbrage and felt that she wasn’t getting any love from me, her body language pleaded for a hug, which I gave. We chatted about her projects that she worked on while on holiday, but there is something between us I can’t put my finger on.

I am wary from the fifth day of work and I asked her how I was doing and she mentioned about how much more energetic I was during the interview. I am wary from her screaming at me over the phone and I was thisclose to saying, ‘Fuck.You. Bitch.’ And hanging up on her. It’s hard to get close to someone who’s treated you like that. Hard to trust them.

One of my agents called me up presenting me a job offer that was from 4:00PM to 12:00AM. It’s temp to perm, which makes it even less desirable. Could I actually work a shift like that? Bill and I would have to get a Tivo that’s for sure. But I turned it down and the agent understood. She says she’s looking out for me and I believe her. I actually got the call from her last week, but didn’t return the call until this morning, after Felicia’s return.

Talking with Hassen online tonight was nice. I miss him and the other friends I had there. I mentioned that I emailed McGruff at Wanker Banker and offered to come back if he’d have me, all the while telling myself I got to look ahead. Typical me. I started something, and now I’m not so sure.