Oh the disliking of the job hit new highs or lows actually today. Granted I was the one who messed up sending something via FedEx priority overnight when it should have actually been first delivery overnight. A matter of two hours, which conspired to make me look like the biggest idiot on the east coast. Okay, the third biggest idiot, no wait, maybe the 101st biggest idiot discounting all the idiots running things down in Washington DC. I’m nowhere in their league.

That made me feel like shit. Also just tired of these people, I don’t like many of them, only have one or two friends. And I have to satisfy them all. I am their support staff. It’s a weird situation that’s for sure. I still say good morning and I do it in a cheerful manner, and it’s acknowledged by some, and ignored by others. And me being me, when I’m ignored, well keeping in line with the Smiths/Morrissey fixation in the back of my mind, quoting Moz, ‘The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get’.

Yes, typical Morrissey psychosis, and when they ignore me the next day I say, “GOOD MORNING MINA” or whomever. What am I looking for? A hard time? To get fired? No, I am just not being rude. I’m trying to have fun with a most absurd situation. But for me, the job is wearing me down and it’s affecting my real life and that sucks because it’s affecting me and the time that I spend with Annemarie and Earl, and Bill as well.

Tonight Bill picked me up after work in a rented car and we drove out to have dinner with Annemarie and Earl. I usually get a decompression time after work, but hadn’t yesterday and definitely not today especially when I needed to decompress more than ever. Bill was good, driving around the city doing a great job while I babbled on about this and that at McMann and Tate.

I also have to admit I do not do well in high humidity and it was very humid out and I certainly wasn’t high. Talking to Earl I realize that I feel like shit and try to rise out of this funk for his sake. He doesn’t see me more than once a year, so I do want to make a good impression. I mustered some enthusiasm which was a relief to myself and more than likely, Earl.

I did my best to maintain some cheer for Annemarie. I should’ve had a beer. It would have taken the edge off. Or a jazz cigarette. It was a very nice dinner, my compliments to the chef. The heat and the humidity were doing me in though. I hung in there, listening to Bill tell his tales as entertaining as ever. I guess we make a pretty good team in that sense.

I was really looking forward to dinner. It would be great to be able to spend time with Annemarie and Earl. It’s just not a very good time with this nonsense at work I have to deal with and learn how to leave it at the office. Previous years I was able to take the time off for vacation and hang out with them. This year, new job, I get Thursday and Friday off. Better than nothing. Just have to do that much more so we can all have a good time. Or do nothing and not think of work at all for 96 hours. Better get to work on that.