I was just checking my gmail when all of a sudden Hassen popped up. He’s a mate from Wanker Banker, great guy, very smart, IT dude. Great guy, a pleasant surprise, wonderful to come home after eating a nice Indian dinner with Annemarie and Earl at Karma Café in Hoboken. Annemarie is great we know we know, but Earl is something else. I see myself as a gangly teenager hanging out with some cool adults when I look at him.

It really is something else when you see someone grow up by leaps and bounds. I’m sure it’s different if the kid or kids are yours. I mean, you would see the kid everyday and probably not notice the changes, or maybe you would. But when you see someone every couple of months or once a year the change is startling. I’m 6’2” and Earl is creeping up on that fast.

It’s really great to have them around and once again I will miss them terribly when they go back to California. I wish I had enough money to buy them a house here in NJ. I wish I had enough money to buy ME a house with Bill. Oh where is that money that should rightfully be mine? Where did I put it, if I ever really had it? If not, when will I get the money that should be coming to me?

Went to work today, anticipating the return of Felicia who was working on projects on her vacation. Don’t think that she did much in the rest and relaxation department She surprised me by being the second person in the office after me. She’s usually an hour behind me but 10 minutes? Threw me for a loop that’s for sure. She inquired of course, about how the week went without her.

It wasn’t much of a work week, it was actually three days. She asked about Paula and I raved about what a good person she is. I think she took umbrage and felt that she wasn’t getting any love from me, her body language pleaded for a hug, which I gave. We chatted about her projects that she worked on while on holiday, but there is something between us I can’t put my finger on.

I am wary from the fifth day of work and I asked her how I was doing and she mentioned about how much more energetic I was during the interview. I am wary from her screaming at me over the phone and I was thisclose to saying, ‘Fuck.You. Bitch.’ And hanging up on her. It’s hard to get close to someone who’s treated you like that. Hard to trust them.

One of my agents called me up presenting me a job offer that was from 4:00PM to 12:00AM. It’s temp to perm, which makes it even less desirable. Could I actually work a shift like that? Bill and I would have to get a Tivo that’s for sure. But I turned it down and the agent understood. She says she’s looking out for me and I believe her. I actually got the call from her last week, but didn’t return the call until this morning, after Felicia’s return.

Talking with Hassen online tonight was nice. I miss him and the other friends I had there. I mentioned that I emailed McGruff at Wanker Banker and offered to come back if he’d have me, all the while telling myself I got to look ahead. Typical me. I started something, and now I’m not so sure.