Monthly Archives: April 2006

Brandy

The Looking Glass sang ‘Brandy’ in 1972. A New Jersey band from Rutgers. A great song. I’ll always remember hearing it for the first time in Wildwood Crest in 1972. Some daughter of a VFW conventioneer and I riding the rides on the Boardwalk in June and ‘Brandy’ were playing quite loudly and lovely. The song went to number one in August of that year. Kudos to the Looking Glass.

http://www.superseventies.com/1972_9singles.html

This morning, after loading the Ipod throughout the night. Loaded 5000 plus songs manually and set it off going to sleep expecting the best. It didn’t take, all the Ipod would do is list each and every song. And there were only 1700 and change anyhow. But it was frustrating. It worked yesterday morning, and I could have sworn I did everything all right. Frustrating as hell. And speaking of hell it’s where I was off to.

Lacking my Ipod, I was deprived of any psyching up music before getting to my desk. It was a disadvantage. It was bagel day so that made it a bit easier to start up the day. That and a lot of coffee. It was a dragging day. I wasn’t in a suit and tie so that covered the drag part of dragging. It was just a Really. Slow. Day.

The good feeling that I had from the day before with the interview Part deux with McMann and Tate had dissipated somewhat. I didn’t give up hoping for it, but I didn’t think I would get it either. A diet of bagels and a sour outlook on things didn’t help and I crashed. Hard.

Everything was bleak. I was so upset about it all. Told Bill I didn’t even care to go to DC next week. Just sad and despairing. Then I ate a banana. Felt better real quick. Total duh. Walked around midtown exploiting the excuse from Helen Devilakos to just take a walk if I’m not feeling so good about things. Though I had started to feel good, I used the opportunity to just get the hell out.

I walked around smoked a La Gloria Cubana Hermoso. Very nice, very mellow. Ten years ago I would’ve smoked a joint. Now, a cigar. One legal, one not. I walked by a mosque where my friend Ahsen prays. Told him about it when I saw him. There were a lot of guys. People actually stood across the street and watched about a hundred men pouring out onto the street. Strange, though I have seen the same effect when Saint Patrick’s Cathedral spills out on a Sunday morning.

Came back to work after having been gone an hour and it was still slow slow slow. Then my cell rang. It was Matt from McMann and Tate calling with the job offer. I called him back on a landline. The job was mine if I wanted it and I do I really do want it. He was emailing me the official offer over the weekend and told me today, Friday so that I would have a good weekend. I stuck to the script and told him I wanted to review the offer, but the answer was 99.9% yes. I would call him back on Monday with the ‘official’ answer.

I told one or two coworkers who hugged me and said while it was sad to see me go, they wished me the best. My last day will be Thursday, the 13th. I’ll start the day after Bill and I come back from DC.

A few hours’ earlier nothing but dark clouds, suddenly blue skies. Felt so good that I walked down to Tek Serve, an Apple store, where Bill bought the Ipod before Christmas. Like she was a few months ago, there Brandy stood. She is a fine girl indeed. She was startled that I knew here name but said she remembered me from my previous visit.

Once again, she hooked it up and loaded it with Lucy Pearl as we discussed how we both loved Raphael Siddiq’s voice. She mentioned how tight his body was, but I didn’t go there. Sure enough it worked. I started to walk up Sixth Avenue when Julio called. I told him the job news earlier and he was happy for me and looking forward to celebrating tonight.

Bill came in on the call and he was exceedingly happy. He most of all knew of the hell I had been in at Wanker Banker. He was happier than he would be if he owned his own bus, which is really saying something. I love this guy.

Tumbling Dice

At home. A bit miserable, a bit angry, and a bit disappointed. The Shaft joke from last night is festering. I just don’t get it. I decided a few weeks ago not to talk about certain things lest Bill get upset. I thought I’d be able to handle it, but it’s right under the surface. it is fucking weird (figuratively of course). A few years ago we had similiar problems with someone not getting theirs. Now the tables have turned. A different position taken so to speak. I know there is love, there are hugs but I don’t want to become companions instead of lovers. I don’t like it one bit. I want it all.

The counseling with Philip Beansprout is winding down. Only about 4 more sessions scheduled then it runs aground.

Then we’re on our own.

Today I also had the job interview and I think it went well. I should be happy and hopeful but it was rough biting my tongue. I feel like I am thisclose to getting it. Then again, don’t want to be too up on the idea because if it doesn’t happen then I will crash hard. I really need/want to be out of Wanker Banker. I really can’t take it anymore.

The interview went well, lasted about 20-30 minutes, I met Leslie, a nice British woman who in the past, had the job that I’m after and Matt the controller. I think it went well with both of them. A few laughs. I was at ease and I think they were too. I made the soon to be clichéd line of me being able to talk to anyone from Penthouse to Pavement. Were they impressed? Only time will tell. A matter of days. I guess I’ll call them next week and see what the status is.

My heart felt heavy after writing that.

Wanker Banker is just nuts and it’s taking its toll on my mental health. After the interview I was feeling really up, and eventually as I had to deal with coworkers, the up feeling went south. No one wished me luck. I’m surprised at that since I’ve told a few friends. I know Bill asked the other day when the interview was.

Poor Patsy.

The Ipod thing is also an irritant. Just missing tacks. All the Beatles, except for Sgt. Pepper. No Grace Jones. Zero Talking Heads. I just came home and deleted everything on the Ipod and will manually reenter 6000 plus tracks. Geekdom, total geekdom.

Listening to Ani DeFranco as I do this. I wish Juan were around. He’s cool to chill with. I love the cd.

This morning had the Ipod on shuffle.

Taking Tiger Mountain (by Strategy)- Brian Eno Strange song to start the midtown meandering but somehow fit. Very quiet and peaceful.

DJ Culture- Pet Shop Boys This got the beat going and the feet moving and increased my pace considerably. Felt like I was in a video walking around town. Probably was.

Kitty’s Back- Bruce Springsteen I grew up listening to this song from my siblings playing it constantly. I Love this song. One of my fave Bruce songs. I sang along to it, alone in an ATM in Rockefeller Center. For sure I was on video then.

May This Be Love- Me’Shell Ndegeocello Me’Shell covering Jimi Hendrix. Beautiful and mellow.

Diamond Dogs- David Bowie. In the year of the scavenger, the season of the bitch. What a great line. For some reason I just thought it would be a perfect song for the Fall to cover.

Here is what I looked like today:



Here is what I saw: