Tag Archives: Xanax

Giving It All Away

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Well it’s back to school, back to work for most everyone. Or for some. I don’t know. I did harbor some hope that the interviews I went on, the resumes I sent out, the online applications that I filled out would be responded to, today perhaps, today would be the day that I would have heard something.

But alas, nothing. I sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes fill out these forms online, send my resume, with such a feeling of hope and feeling that this will be the one, the one that I get a call back. Bloomberg, Goldman Sachs, all big names that surely must have some small room in their organizations for someone like me, but no.

Apparently there is nothing forthcoming, leaving me dejected.

And when I walked around this afternoon I felt I could see the same reactions on a lot of people’s faces. Perhaps the look on their faces is from the fact that where the past week or so there was family and fun and good feelings abounding, now there’s just us.

And the bitterness of the cold, mirrors the bitterness we feel inside.

For me, the angst arrived in the night as I was going to sleep. Bill and I watched a few episodes of Lawn Hors d’œuvre: Criminal Malcontent. Caught the Simpsons which was OK, nothing to write about despite the fact that I’m writing about it.

Caught the first few minutes of the Cleveland Show which is made by Seth McFarlane who made The Family Guy. I loathe the Family Guy and through that I disliked the Cleveland Show. Bill and I did become hooked on what is the only reality show we like, Tabatha’s Salon Takeover.

Tabatha is a tough Australian woman who goes into hair salons and tries to help them out. If only Tabatha was in Hoboken 20 years ago when Patrick Morrissey was around with his hair salon. Then again Narcotics Anonymous and AA would have had to play a major part in that, if that were the case.

And in case Patrick Morrissey googles his name, ‘Hello Patrick’.

Bill went to bed early so I watched The Soloist starring Robert Downey Jr & Jamie Foxx. Oh it was remarkably lackluster. Left you not caring at all. Then the news which was all about how cold it was. It was in the 15 degree range last night.

I wound up watching How I Met Your Mother which I never watched before. No Neil Patrick Harris in this one, and I didn’t know Jason Segal was a regular cast member. I like the Jason Segal.

Around 1:30 I went to bed, not because I was tired but because I was bored. And I lay there for about 45 minutes unable to sleep. I got out of bed and did an online crossword puzzle. Knowing that Xanax makes me drowsy sometimes, I took a Xanax and about 20 minutes later I was heavily lidded and ready to go to sleep.

Slept so well I didn’t realize Bill kissed me goodbye. It was around 2:30 or so when I went to sleep and woke up around 10:30 this morning. Made some coffee and poured my cereal in the bowl and decided to go back to sleep. It felt good.

I didn’t do much today, went out around Hoboken, saw the faces of my fellow unemployed and came home again from the bitter cold. Had an early dinner since I was hungry and now here I sit, filling out more online applications with not much hope.

I wish the weather was warmer so I could go out and play guitar again on the pier.

Basketball Jones

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This is one of those moments in life where a joint would be most nice. But of course I am lacking in that department. What started as a fine day almost degenerated into crap and it wasn’t my fault. I do have to thank the makers of Xanax for taking a major edge off the trouble I found myself in this afternoon.

I suppose it’s true, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. In that case, to quote AC/DC I’m on the Highway to Hell.

Last night was quite pleasant enough. Bill came home and we watched The Baroness of Jazz, about a woman, an heiress to the Rothschild fortune who left England and wound up being a major supporter of Thelonious Monk and a few others in that Jazz scene.

I recorded it since Bill has a connection to Thelonious Monk in some regard. Right now, my patience is sorely being tested by the sound card I guess on my computer.

Right now I’m trying to listen to some Kate Bush on iTunes, while also trying to upload the videos I shot of Bill tonight. Unfortunately with every keystroke on the computer the sound goes to shit.

Apparently I cannot do more than one thing on the computer without something going wrong. You get what you paid for I guess. Be ru-un-nni-i-i-nn-ggg u-u-u-p-p t-hhhhaaa-tttt hi-ll-ll is not how Kate Bush is supposed to sound. A 5:01 song gets stretched to 6 and change.

And the one clip I had shot of Bill was somehow turned into 2 clips, so I decided to add the sound check making it a 2:36 clip. I know I would be feeling a lot worse if it weren’t for the Xanax which is merely making me frustrated rather than angry.

Anyhow, The Baroness of Jazz was good and Bill really enjoyed it. After that, Bill and I watched Saturday Night Live. I generally enjoy the holiday episodes of Saturday Night Live. I often wondered if it was Lorne Michaels generosity that lets some truly strange sketches go on air.

I loved the digital short, it was hilarious and definitely weird. No more pajamas for me. Bill went to bed during Weekend Update, I stayed up to watch the rest. Muse were the musical guests and I thought they were alright.

Soon I went to bed as the snow continued falling. I woke up around 8:30, Bill was off to church for the first time in weeks, delivering the liturgy. I soon had my boots on, walked up to Washington Street where the bagel shop was empty. Yesterday the line was out onto the sidewalk.

In and out in under a minute, I made my way through sloppy streets to the supermarket. Cute cashier, reminded me of Karen Kuhl from Gutbank, 20 years ago.

The rest of the day was OK, until I responded to matters regarding Christmas presents. Where I planned and saved to get these presents I was left feeling foolish for getting these meager presents. Whatever good feeling I had was soon gone.

Bill was home by then and taking a nap, I had an early supper. That’s when I had the Xanax which couldn’t activate fast enough for my nerves. Eventually it did and talking to Bill about it certainly helped.

Things will have to be done differently and certain plans will be changed within the next five days. C’est la vie, that’s just the way that it goes.

Bill and I ran into Rand and Lisa as we walked to the Path train, good to see them. They wished Bill good luck with his singing. We also ran into Kathe Charas who is leaving New York and heading to Florida to help out some relatives. Glad to be able to see her on the day she was leaving though it was quite inadvertent.

We were set up nicely at the Garden, had dinner in the Press Room and Bill had a small dressing room. We had passes that allowed me to walk through the bowels of the Garden and shoot Bill’s sound check and the pass came in handy during the actual performance.

Unfortunately, someone bumped into me during the actual performance which left the video slightly disjointed. I posted it on YouTube as johnotoole99 as well on Facebook and also here.

Our singer

Our singer

'Just the facts, ma'am'

'Just the facts, ma'am'