Tag Archives: My Bloody Valentine

Ventilator Blues

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Well I am looking forward to work tomorrow, it will be something to do. Though I will be dreading and perhaps lying when asked how my birthday weekend was. The past two days have been quite dull and the highpoint of the day so far has been a walk to the Hoboken post office.

It was not supposed to be the highpoint of the day. The highpoint of the day was to be me going into the city to my office to drop off a few pounds of coffee that I bought this morning.

Yeah it’s been a rather pathetic weekend. It’s close to 90 degrees out right now and it’s muggy as all hell. I had had enough of being cooped up inside today and decided to head into the city. The sun was beaming on the side of the street where the buses into the city ride so I was opposite, walking down in the shade, keeping an eye out for the buses.

The bus showed up when I was between stops and the bus drivers do not pick up people that are not at the bus stop so I was screwed. I found myself walking around Hoboken carrying three pounds of coffee and whining to my sister on the phone about what a pathetic weekend this has turned out to be.

I’m just so annoyed at myself that I postponed drinks with Rand and Lisa. They didn’t give me a set time and even though I have nothing but time on my hands my mood had turned considerably rotten and anti-social.

I thought it would be better if I just went back to my messy apartment and sat in front of the computer since my life wasn’t pathetic enough. Bill was upstate yesterday then at his mother’s last night. Juan said he was going to stop by after seeing his family but he didn’t. I’m just a lonely guy it seems.

Once again I find myself depending on others to get me through, to show me a good time. And then when there is an offer I bail. Now I’m hungry and cranky. I bought a half pint of heavy cream and I will more than likely make some more sub-par pesto with pasta and chicken. This time ignoring Annemarie and Harpy’s advice since heeding their advice yesterday left me wholly dissatisfied.

Annemarie had the right idea on her birthday weekend. She went away on a yoga retreat. My problem is, I don’t do yoga. She suggested following one of my interests, but what are my interests? When pressed for an answer I come up blank.

Music? That’s about my main interest, but how could I pursue that? I have a ticket for My Bloody Valentine on September 22, but right now I’m thinking about selling it. I don’t want to go by myself and I could use the money and I did see them back in 1991 at Studio 54. I think those are three pretty good reasons not to go.

Another interest of mine would be the movies. But I don’t like going to the movies alone. There are plenty of movies that I want to see too. Yeah I’m in a situation of my own doing. I could call people up but when I do they have other plans or simply can’t make it so I end up not even asking and sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.

I’m annoyed with myself, with my computer, with just about everything that crosses my path. It’s just as well that I sit here next to the open window sweating in a warm breeze.

Oh right, I have a dental appointment tomorrow. That’s something to look forward to. Nothing major, just some x-rays and periodontal charts that need to be done again and then sent back to the insurance company so they could deny my benefits for the third time.

Last night I watched The Brave One starring Jodie Foster and Terrance Howard. Oh it sucked. Easily forgettable. Another DVD rental that when it ended I couldn’t help but yell BOO. Bill is in it for about 2 seconds, in the building that I worked in when I worked for Golden Staffing on 44th street.

You have to slow down the DVD considerably and zoom in order to catch Bill getting into an elevator.
All in all a crap movie.

Also caught SNL last night which was funny. Tina Fey ‘surprise guest’ as Sarah Pallid. She had the whole accent down perfectly, the long flat tones as she speaks. Lil Wayne wasn’t all that. Easily ignored.

A little while later.

I’ve eaten. Used olive oil, a dash of heavy cream, a lick of butter and two and a half tablespoons of pesto sauce, maybe three tablespoons. A definite improvement over last night and a definite positive effect on my mood. When I don’t eat I tend to turn into Joan Collins. Or my father. Or Joan Collins father.

The pasta was good, the sauce a wee bit creamy but not creamy like I would get on 57th street for lunch. A happy medium it is. Not feeling so sorry for myself. I don’t have it so bad, as bhikkhu states in the comments below.

Hoboken Sunset

Strange Overtones

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It’s Tuesday again. It was like this last week and the week before that and it goes on further and further from here. Last night was Monday night, Bill and I watched Keith Olbermann who had some righteous indignation towards John McCrazy. Bill got very much into it, not going ghetto but politicized in a way. Then some Olympics then he was off to bed.

I’ve been playing DJ during the commercial breaks, going from roots reggae to the Stones to The Coasters to who knows where, finishing up with Les Paul and Mary Ford singing How High The Moon. Still sounds amazing over 50 years later, miles away from Mahwah where I believe Les Paul still resides.

Right now my computer is pissing me off. Very slow. I’ve been trying to burn some cd’s for Annemarie’s birthday but it’s been impossible. Keep getting some stupid code error. Pisses me off. Had to resort to plan B. Oh I am getting upset.

Presently running some spyware which is doing what it’s supposed to do I hope. More than anything the inability to burn cd’s is definitely pissing me off. I will have to work on that and send Annemarie the cd’s at a later date.

It’s a nice night for sure. Bill called to tell me that Rachel Maddow is getting her own show following Keith Olbermann. I’d like to think that the head of programming reads my blog but I doubt it.

Still no Casey in the morning. Maybe I’ve been leaving earlier, or he’s leaving later or on vacation. I remembered to bring something to read and of course, it’s Alan Bennett. Two short stories, The Clothes They Stood Up In and The Lady In The Van. The first story is funny, in a subtle English. I chuckled a few times reading it on the way in.

So far, a married couple have come back from seeing Cosi Fan Tutti and find their home has been burglarized with everything gone. Furniture, beds, phone, stove, every thing. The husband is a solicitor and the wife is a house wife.

They’ve lived a very sheltered life. No kids, no neighbors, no friends really. And they don’t interact with anyone in their town, in fact when he goes to use a pay phone at the laundromat, it was the first time he had ever been to one.

Of course there’s a lot more than that and I do Alan Bennett no justice in trying to describe his writing. So I’ll stop there. My copy is from Ramsey courtesy of the BBCLS, the cooperative system that Hoboken is a part of.

I am taking Juan to Girl Talk for his birthday in November. That promises to be a real good time. And next month is My Bloody Valentine as well as the B-52’s playing a free show by Kean University in Union, NJ September 6..

Here’s a thought I felt I should write down last night. Some straight people don’t want gay people around kids. The ‘official’ line is the skewed pedophilia fear, despite the fact that most reported pedophiles are straight men.

But perhaps on a deeper, unconscious level it’s fear of gaydar. The unspoken knowing that someone else is gay. It’s there, I have it. It’s defective but it works. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

I think that some straight people are afraid of the gaydar coming from a child and picking up the vibe that that certain adult is different from what the child has come into contact with, and might identify more with the gay person rather than the straight people they might have been accustomed to.

What do you think of that? Comments please.