Tag Archives: Casey

Daddy’s Home

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Late start tonight. Drinks with a former co-worker, Brenda. She’s a sweetheart and we’ve been trying to meet up for drinks after work for quite a while, but things being what they are and life being what it is I usually had to back out. Tonight it all came together and we had some appetizers and some drinks and reminisced about who’s who, what’s what and things like that.

All very pleasant, she’s a luv she is. She’s still working with people I used to work with, now it’s a different company having been bought out a year or so ago. Two Stella Artois for me and I was set. We had drinks quite near Grand Central and so I walked her to the entrance and kissed her good night wishing her a safe ride home.

I decided to take the Path train home since waiting for a bus at the bus terminal can be quite tiring especially after the rush hour. Bright lights and a bunch of people I don’t want to see, or be seen by made the idea of the Path train that much more appealing.

As luck would have it a train pulled into the station and I was able to find a seat in a nearly empty car where I sat and continued reading Alan Bennett’s memoir, Untold Stories. Got off the train in no time and made a bee line so I could do a pee line in the loo in the Hoboken station.

Beautiful late summer night, I walked along the river. Couples, tourists and joggers all out and some taking pictures of the beautiful New York skyline which you can’t see if you’re in Manhattan. It’s a nice trap, how it looks so much better when you’re not in the city, then when you’re there it looks like something totally different.

Right now I’m home, Bill waited up for me to come home so he could go to bed where he is now. Rachel Maddow- we love her, is being so right on. Everything she says makes so much sense even if I did read it online a few hours ago. It just sounds so much better hearing it from her.

Last week on the bus, as I talked with Casey, he had a personal question that required the ‘I hope you don’t mind if I ask you a personal question’ line. I gave the go ahead and he asked if Bill and I ever considered having kids. I can’t speak for Bill since the subject never came up but I answered, no. I don’t want kids and overall I don’t like kids.

I love my nieces and nephews and I like my friends kids (love Alexander and Lily and Ruby etc) but no thanks, none for me. I don’t think I would be a good parent. I had parents that did their best, at least one of them did. The other saw his kids as his duty and his competition.

When Zed was alive, when he did something wrong it was difficult not to lose my temper and I wouldn’t want to inflict that on a child. Plus it’s so much responsibility, responsibility that lasts maybe for 18 years, maybe longer.

I’ve told Bill that I would love to get a cat (but he’s allergic) or a dog, but they tend to die on you and the heartbreak I felt after Zed died was near unbearable. If I could get a pet that died the day after I died, then I’d have no problem.

Now that would be an argument in favor of children. They’re supposed to outlive their parents so that would be cool with me. But no, no kids. Too much trouble and I’m selfish. I’d be a lousy parent and to my credit, I know that fact which is a lot better than some parents who are worse than I would ever be.

Thanks anyway.

Strange Overtones

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It’s Tuesday again. It was like this last week and the week before that and it goes on further and further from here. Last night was Monday night, Bill and I watched Keith Olbermann who had some righteous indignation towards John McCrazy. Bill got very much into it, not going ghetto but politicized in a way. Then some Olympics then he was off to bed.

I’ve been playing DJ during the commercial breaks, going from roots reggae to the Stones to The Coasters to who knows where, finishing up with Les Paul and Mary Ford singing How High The Moon. Still sounds amazing over 50 years later, miles away from Mahwah where I believe Les Paul still resides.

Right now my computer is pissing me off. Very slow. I’ve been trying to burn some cd’s for Annemarie’s birthday but it’s been impossible. Keep getting some stupid code error. Pisses me off. Had to resort to plan B. Oh I am getting upset.

Presently running some spyware which is doing what it’s supposed to do I hope. More than anything the inability to burn cd’s is definitely pissing me off. I will have to work on that and send Annemarie the cd’s at a later date.

It’s a nice night for sure. Bill called to tell me that Rachel Maddow is getting her own show following Keith Olbermann. I’d like to think that the head of programming reads my blog but I doubt it.

Still no Casey in the morning. Maybe I’ve been leaving earlier, or he’s leaving later or on vacation. I remembered to bring something to read and of course, it’s Alan Bennett. Two short stories, The Clothes They Stood Up In and The Lady In The Van. The first story is funny, in a subtle English. I chuckled a few times reading it on the way in.

So far, a married couple have come back from seeing Cosi Fan Tutti and find their home has been burglarized with everything gone. Furniture, beds, phone, stove, every thing. The husband is a solicitor and the wife is a house wife.

They’ve lived a very sheltered life. No kids, no neighbors, no friends really. And they don’t interact with anyone in their town, in fact when he goes to use a pay phone at the laundromat, it was the first time he had ever been to one.

Of course there’s a lot more than that and I do Alan Bennett no justice in trying to describe his writing. So I’ll stop there. My copy is from Ramsey courtesy of the BBCLS, the cooperative system that Hoboken is a part of.

I am taking Juan to Girl Talk for his birthday in November. That promises to be a real good time. And next month is My Bloody Valentine as well as the B-52’s playing a free show by Kean University in Union, NJ September 6..

Here’s a thought I felt I should write down last night. Some straight people don’t want gay people around kids. The ‘official’ line is the skewed pedophilia fear, despite the fact that most reported pedophiles are straight men.

But perhaps on a deeper, unconscious level it’s fear of gaydar. The unspoken knowing that someone else is gay. It’s there, I have it. It’s defective but it works. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

I think that some straight people are afraid of the gaydar coming from a child and picking up the vibe that that certain adult is different from what the child has come into contact with, and might identify more with the gay person rather than the straight people they might have been accustomed to.

What do you think of that? Comments please.