I Was Young When I Left Home

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What a gray, gray day. And cold too. Feeling out of it most of the day. Can’t get into it, whatever it is. Slept really well though.

Had a few dreams and one in particular was me with my brother Frank walking towards the corner of Midland Avenue and Outwater Lane, and he says in the dream something about me always competing with him.

He brings up his stroke and I say in the dream, ‘Yeah but I’m not competing with you, I’m having a nervous breakdown.’

Of course, dreams usually last only a few seconds at best so out of the thousands I may have had, that is the one I remember. And it was probably one of the last dreams that I had before waking up.

Still writing on Bill’s Mac. My computer is great for playing solitaire.

My day had the usual ear worms. Today brought Endlessly Jealous by Lou Reed from the album New Sensations. My then roommate, Jimmy Lee turned me onto that album.

I also remember when I was carrying a torch for Steve Saporito, I explained that Endlessly Jealous summed up how I felt about the situation I had put us both in. That was a difficult time.

I fell for him hard but he didn’t feel the same way. He wanted to be friends, but I couldn’t reconcile with that. It was only in the past few years when I would occasionally see him that I could look him in the eye without any romantic feelings or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

I am happy that he’s doing the things that he wants to.

Another ear worm was Cry by Johnny Ray. I don’t know why that popped in, I hardly know the song. The last ear worm was the Outro to Layla by Derek & the Dominoes.

Besides being in Goodfellas, it brings back a memory of the Lodi Boys Club. They had a jukebox there and on it was the song Layla, a double sided single. The main part, with the lyrics and guitars was the A side, the B side was the outro.

I mentioned that I liked the B side more than the A side and my brother Brian told me I was a jerk for liking that side. Actually he didn’t say jerk.

Now I’m listening to Dark Was The Night, which seems to be the record I play the most so far this year. I played it all the way through on the bus ride to DC last Sunday.

I burned a copy of it for Billie as well as for other people. I wonder if they like it as much as I love it.

So cold and damp it is. Settles in the bones and all I want to do is sleep. I even made it into the city for a little while. Nothing like being around cold, gray buildings to cheer one up.

I’m writing this in the twilight of the day, the only light is the gray sky outside. Seems rather poetic, especially for such a downbeat entry. The weather matches my mood and my mood matches the weather.

Considering the weather, the atmosphere and my spirits were so much higher only a few days ago, and now it’s like Seattle. Or at least what I know of Seattle gathering from what I know about Seattle is that it rains a lot.

Maybe it’s like the weather in Ireland and England.

Ah, everything is a drag today. I know it’s not going to last. This will generally improve sooner or later.

I had an idea for a story, the opening line was concerning a knock on the door. The character asks who is it. The other side of the door says, ‘Despair.’

I couldn’t tell if that was the one who knocked on the doors name, or merely an instruction.

Then the light changed and I crossed the street.

Just had a nap for about 90 minutes. Quite nice.

Happy birthday Oscar Wilde.

Cinnamon Girl

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It’s a cold and rainy Thursday, outside on the street it’s 41 degrees. Upstairs on the 5th floor it feels colder than that. So much so that I spent a good part of the day, lying on cold ceramic tiles trying to activate the heater in the bedroom.

The bedroom is the room next to where I am writing this on Bill’s Mac.

Let’s see, last night was an interesting night. Watched Keith Olbermann who had Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam and Jon Cleese on. It was a bit hard to watch. He was honored to have them on his show and said so a few times. It was awkward to watch.

After Olbermann, I watched Lawn hors d’œuvre SUV. It was lackluster despite Christine Lahti doing her usual excellent acting. I’ve always enjoyed her after seeing Housekeeping 20 years ago. Her character wasn’t a pleasant one, ruffled the feathers of the cast. She unraveled and left the show after her contract for 4 episodes finished.

Bill came home midway through and got right into the show He was impressed with the clean up in the kitchen and bowled over by what I had done to the bedroom. He even noticed that since the bedroom was cleaned up so much that there was a natural echo.

We watched some more Lawn hors d’œuvre on a cable channel then we caught the news. Bill went to bed shortly after I shut down his Mac and put the protective cover over it. I stayed up and watched Jones, Gilliam, Cleese and Eric Idle on Jimmy Fallon.

That was slightly better than Python on Olbermann. After that it was bedtime for me. Bill had his apnea mask on but about an hour later he had the mask off and was snoring. At 2:30 I had to say loudly to put the mask back on.

His snoring was echoing around the bedroom.

It wasn’t smooth sailing after that though. I didn’t sleep too well. I t was cold in the bedroom and I slept on my left shoulder which cause a neck ache throughout most of the day. The uncomfortable feeling is still there.

Bill kissed me goodbye and said that I forgot to put the cover on the Mac last night. He would have seen that as he went to bed with the computer off. I know that I did and I’m sure I did not get out of bed and take it off. I don’t know what the hell he was talking about.

It’s always something. Missing bagels suddenly reappearing, covered Macs becoming uncovered by themselves. Life with Bill certainly isn’t dull.

The big news today was of a six year old boy who may have been carried away in a Mylar balloon. When the balloon came down to earth, there was no six year old boy in it. Where did he go? His brother reported that he saw his little brother getting into the balloon.

Personally I think the six year old kid has been hiding bagels and uncovering Macs when no one is looking.

Still cold and raining and I haven’t been outside since this morning. Still have no reason so I’m staying in. Nice and toasty.

6:37PM- Balloon Boy found at home, hiding.