I Don’t Want To Know

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Well it’s been a day off and it’s been alright. I bought myself a new Timex watch and some new Airwalk sneakers. The last watch lost it’s crown, which is the piece that allows you to adjust the time when you pull it out.

What was left of the crown kept getting snagged on clothes and other things. And the Airwalk sneakers, well after over a year, they’ve been looking ratty. A trip to the mall was in order. The watches were on sale at Kohl’s so I saved about $20.00 on the basic Timex watch.

The co-workers at the cigar shop all have watch fetishes, preferring to spend hundreds of dollars on a watch that does the same thing as my $30.00 Timex. Only it’s not as flashy as a watch that cost several hundred dollars (or more).

On my way home I switched from the old sneakers to the new ones, figuring I was just going to throw them out anyhow. I must have looked a sight sitting on a bench by the Hudson River, in my purple socks, lacing up the new kicks and tossing out the old ones.

I did say good bye to the old sneakers, thanking them for the services they’ve provided. The new pair is basically the same style as the old pair, tan Airwalk kicks. I certainly don’t wear them as much as I used to, mainly on weekends as I truck to and from the bus terminal to the cigar shop.

It was a nice day out too. A little overcast and a little muggy at that. More resumes went out this morning and also communicated with the groups that Don from work had suggested. One of the groups, an LGBT start up had no use for me, but did offer some volunteering work if I’d like.

I thanked them for the volunteering offer, but turned it down. With my schedule I don’t think I would have anytime to do any of that for them. Still no word from the other group Don recommended. And there were other resumes sent out.

Last year the thing from some job listings was a front for continuing education websites like University of Phoenix. You see a job that you feel you are qualified for and send them your resume then you get a response, asking for you to take an IQ test, or a free credit check.

It’s all rather demoralizing and degrading. Demoralizing since you think it’s a good fit and it seems like a scam. Still I continue sending out resumes left and right. No legitimate responses, no words from the cousins.

The mantra is a bit frayed, I’m afraid. If I could have picked up a new mantra with the new watch or sneakers I certainly would have. But no, it wasn’t to be.

Last night or rather this morning I had a very strange dream. I was in an apartment with Brian Eno & David Byrne and a woman. Eno picked up a starter’s pistol and put it to his temple. We told him not to pull the trigger but he did and collapsed.

Blood and water spilled from his head as he lay there. Byrne, the woman and I all tried calling 911 on our cellphones but couldn’t get through. At some point I cradled Eno in my arms and took him outside. When we were out in the daylight, his skin looked like the skin of an avocado, but rather quickly his skin was normal once again and he came to life.

So while it had a happy ending it was disturbing enough that I couldn’t get to sleep again.


I Thought You Wanted to Know

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I suppose after 2 nice days a weird day would have to happen eventually. That was today. Not sure if I slept well, and I could have certainly could have used a few more hours of sleep. Most everything was a bit off today, including now.

Had a message that I missed Bill’s phone which I thought was recent but was actually a few hours ago. I just hit the redial button as he was climbing the stairs outside the apartment. Had a phone call from my brother Frank right before that who said, ‘What a great show huh?’ ‘What show?’ I asked.

Was he talking about Lawrence O’Donnell on MSNBC? It turned out he was talking about Elton John & Leon Russell on cable. I had no idea and in any event I had just gotten home about a half hour before so I would have missed most of the show.

It looked OK. I only saw the last few minutes of what seemed to be the final encore. Leon Russell walking with a cane and Elton looking pudgy.

Another strange event happened today. I came back from lunch and when I went behind the counter, there was Calvin having a discussion with Martini Basheer (misspelled on purpose). When Martini saw me, he said ‘That’s the bloke that wrote a bad review of my reggae CD!’

Calvin and Don turned towards me and laughed. ‘Me?’ ‘Yes you!’ I did write a negative review a few weeks ago of Martini’s vanity project, a reggae CD which sounded like it was recorded with all the needles in the red.

Apparently a friend of Martini’s did a search online and this here blog came up. I admitted it and Martini asked why did I write what I wrote. I said I was used to listening to Studio One recordings, people like Coxsone Dodd and Lee Scratch Perry. ‘I couldn’t compare my music to that’ he said. I

said well in your notes you wrote that was the music you enjoyed listening to and figured that was what you were after. You missed it by a mile. He laughed and walked out of the store leaving me to explain what I wrote to Calvin and Don.

To Calvin I said that I posted it online for some reggae column and to Don I told him the truth, that it was on my blog. I revealed my blogging to Don earlier today. Don’s been very helpful lately, steering my job search to LGBT non profits and start up internet companies that he feels I would be suited for.

Once again someone has more faith in me than I do myself. I did follow Don’s lead and submitted a letter if introduction as well as a resume. One more for tomorrow, can’t do anymore job searches or introductions tonight since I’m really tired.

And pretty much distracted.

I’ll be in a better state of mind tomorrow. I am off from work so I will have time to focus on what I need to do. Right now, I’d rather do nothing at all and get the day behind me. I knew you would understand.