Category Archives: WTF

Chelsea Hotel # 2

It’s Tuesday. Didn’t write last night. Came home late and quite tired. I spoke with Annemarie on Sunday and told her I wasn’t going to write Sunday, but I was able to knock one off in about 20 minutes. Last night, exhausted, just couldn’t do it. So here I am, no frills. Did anyone notice I didn’t write? Maybe Harpy did, And Song and of course Annemarie. I don’t think Bill reads this every day, same with Juan, they’re the catch up kind, they’ll read a week at a time maybe, if I’m lucky. Everyone else is invisible and possibly nonexistent.

So what’s new? I got new glasses and I’m not used to them and I’m not sure if I like them. I should like them I paid enough for them. The old glasses, so dear to my heart and so close to my eyes, were a bit scratchy and obscured my vision. These glasses aren’t rose tinted, though I wish they were. I originally went to Lens Crafters across the street from my office one lunch time. I looked around, found some nice frames, but no one was willing to help me. Then a woman walked in and the sales staff were willing to help her. So I walked out and wound up at Cohen’s Fashion Optical, which was not as nice as Lens Crafters but they were willing to help me out. And willing to help the money out of my wallet. It’s a good thing I have insurance or I would be paying through the bridge of my nose.

Work has been interesting. I have a new assistant, Mary Tully. She’s nice, looks a bit like Uma Thurman. I couldn’t tell if she was overweight or pregnant and I dare not ask. It’s illegal to ask anyhow. She’s pregnant. She told me. I didn’t ask any more questions. I’ve been trying to find projects for her to do which are usually my cast offs. Today I had her call the security company that I got into hot water with back in May. I had her tell them that I was shipped off to Iraq should they ask. They didn’t ask. I figured if I was out of the picture, they would be more likely to actually help out the company.

The trouble was about how they sent some key cards to 900 Third Avenue, when they should have gone to 800 Third Avenue. That’s what set this idiot, Jeff off, yelling into the phone about how they deal with bigger companies than ours, when I mentioned the fact he sent the cards to the wrong address. Now that’s what I call security. Basically he acted like he was doing us a favor, rather than doing business as usual. I called up the owner of the company when this all went down and he of course took Jeff’s side. No, the customer is only right in their eyes if you’re a Fortune 500 company. That lights a fire under my ass towards making my company the best company, to be so successful that we could crush All Slime Defecation services.

On the home front here in Hoboken, Bill is stressed, understandably about his parents. His father, being in the nursing home is eating up their savings since his insurance has run out. His mother needs to be supervised so she takes her medication. She takes it, then forgets that she’s taken it and freaks out about it which freaks out Bill. The neighbors are worried about her too. So he has two parents that need to be monitored all day and night. And he still has to sleep on a sofa bed designed by the Marquis de Sade.

Hard to believe next week is Thanksgiving. Bill and I are headed out to Garfield so that should be nice. I need to remind Bill to load up on his allergy medication since they do have cats.

There’s a commercial for the New York State lottery that they’re showing, various people lip syncing to an Al Jolson song, Sitting on Top of the World. It’s so creepy, especially when they get to the guy with powdered sugar on his mouth, singing. I don’t know why but I find it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because I haven’t won the lottery. Yet.

And now, some pics.

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The NEW Me

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WTF?

Shabby Doll

Monday. Back to work, relative normalcy. Slept ok, woke up ok. It was an average morning. After a weekend of inactivity, actually having something to do didn’t sound so bad. I woke up a little later than usual, but there was no hurry to get to work on time. I knew it wasn’t going to be too busy, most everything has been slow in the McMann and Tate world. My appetite has been ravenous lately and after eating breakfast at home, when I got to the city I got some bagels for myself. A healthy appetite for sure. No complaints, just always hungry. Always finding time for second breakfast.

Right now, Elvis Costello and Fiona Apple are singing a duet on one of the MTV channels. Stumbled onto it. Bill has been hankering to get a DVD-R for cable so he can watch his Law and Orders as well as commercials that he might be in or have to study. He’s been taking acting classes and they seem to be serving him well. Or at least he’s acting like they’re serving him well which is more or less the same thing. Elvis Costello is now singing a Fiona Apple song.

What the hell happened to Elvis? I used to love him, then he released ‘Goodbye Cruel World’ and it was basically goodbye blind adoration of Elvis Costello and the Attractions. I’ll never forget when Elvis and the Attractions were touring for the Punch the Clock album. Not a bad album but totally flaccid when compared to ImPeRiAl BeDrOoM, or Imperial Bedroom for those who think my fonts have a mind of their own. I was in Chelsea hanging out with my friends, Rita and Loren. We all had tickets to the upcoming NY show a few days later and were psyched for it.

Rita mentioned that she read an interview with Elvis Costello that took place at the Parker Meridian hotel on 57th street and suggested that we should go up to the hotel and see if they were hanging about the hotel. Having nothing better to do, we all agreed and hopped in a taxi from Chelsea to 57th street. In the hotel, being somewhat posh, we stood out like sore thumbs. We sat in the lounge and had some very pricey cocktails. I believe after two rounds, our funds were depleted. We took to wandering around the lobby when we saw Bruce Thomas, bass player for the Attractions get into an elevator. We jumped in with him, nervously trying not to giggle.

It was all very ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’ a movie made in the seventies about a group of teenagers trying to get into the Plaza hotel and meet the Beatles. Bruce Thomas got off at the 10th floor and we got off at the 11th, taking an elevator back down to ten. We expected to hear a party but it was very quiet as we walked down the hallway with our ears pressed to the doors. I guess we made some sort of disturbance, because Bruce Thomas opened his door asking if he could help us.

The three of us gushed, telling him we were fans and how we loved Elvis and the Attractions. He was kind enough to invite us into his humble room. He apologized for only having water to offer, not really a rock and roll scene. We just gushed some more and told him how excited we were to be seeing him and the band soon. He asked where we were from and we told him New Jersey. He asked if we were going to see the Asbury Park show and we said no.

Bruce offered to put us on the guest list if we cared to go. We definitely did care to go. He also mentioned that the Asbury Park show was on his birthday, and he’d make a point to put us on the list. We thanked him profusely and Rita, Loren and I made plans to buy Bruce some gifts for his birthday. Time flew and suddenly it was Sunday and we were in Asbury Park. A few Hoboken people were at the show and we couldn’t help but show them our backstage passes. They in turn showed us theirs. So much for being smug.

The show was great but I couldn’t remember much having spent most of the night staring at the backstage pass on my clothes and making sure no one would run up to me and swipe it. After the show we ran backstage gushing like Wendy Jo Sperber and finally cornering Bruce Thomas and giving him his gifts. I don’t know what Rita and Loren gave him, but I was working for a book company and swiped a few best sellers of the intellectual sort to give him. He thanked us and got on the bus headed towards the next gig. We didn’t really talk to Elvis or the others, it was Bruce who got us in, and Elvis was surrounded by press and hangers on.

We all drove home and that’s about all I can remember. Now Elvis is duetting with Billie Joe Armstrong. WTF? Bruce Thomas was later kicked out of the Attractions after a row with Elvis. He wrote a book called ‘The Big Wheel’ a thinly disguised roman a clef about life with an egocentric singer on the road. I think Bruce Thomas being kicked out of the Attractions soured me somewhat on what Elvis Costello is doing now. I saw him and Diana Krall on the street a few years ago and I just kept walking. He saw that I recognized him, but being in New York City, I just let him be.