Category Archives: WTF

Lipstick Vogue

8 Replies

Well it’s Friday and it’s been a weird week. I think I saw Bill for a total of maybe 10 minutes this week, all outside his office building. I guess it’s up to me to ask Bill to lunch since it doesn’t seem like he’s going to invite me anytime soon.

I’m doing my best to hold up my end of the situation but it can be a strain. It’s not like I carry around resentment all the time, just moments of melancholy and loneliness.

I just have to hang in there until Bill’s mother can get 24 hour care. Then I can go back to wishing Bill was back in Stuyvesant Town when he starts driving me crazy.

My stalker made an appearance at my office building again. I did as I was told last Friday, I instructed the building security to stall her then I called 911 and told them to send a squad car.

A few of the tenants that share my office went down to size up the situation. They saw her and saw the police doing nothing as the stalker walked away. I went down to talk to the police and they told me not to call and say aggravated harassment as I was told last week, but to say criminal trespass.

The police told me they did all they could, my fellow office drones said the police did nothing, didn’t even speak to her. The police did look around to make sure she was gone.

I went back to my desk and she called again, three times. The first two times I hung up on her. The third time I listened to her ask me if I called the police. I said yes, to which she asked if I wanted to see her handcuffed and taken away.

I said if it would stop her from fucking calling me every fucking day then yes I would like to see her taken away in handcuffs.

Having just written that I wonder if she was inquiring if I wanted to have kinky sex with her in handcuffs. How could she clean my apartment if she’s handcuffed?

Anyway bondage is not my scene. Consenting adults, go knock yourself out.
Me? I’ll pass.

Last night I watched O & RM again, can’t seem to wean myself off that. Watched The Daily Show, which had Don Rickles on. Pretty funny. But even though I think Jon Stewart is brilliantly funny, I think Stephen Colbert is funnier.

He just shines when he goes off the rails and the audience clearly adores him. I definitely need more laughter in my life.

This weekend promises to be quiet and low key but I’m open to persuasion. Perhaps a visit to the galleries again. It has been a while since I went to check out some art.

I am glad I wrote out my Christmas cards the other day and I mailed them yesterday so some of you may have gotten them already. Those of you that I have addresses for I mean.

Sorry if I don’t have any addresses for those of you in Kentucky or Colorado or if you work in a card store in the Village, not that you would want a holiday card after trying to sell them all day long- Harpy!

Keep an eye on the full moon tonight. It’s closer to the Earth than it’s been in 8 years.
There’s a Moon in the Sky (Called the Moon)

I See Red

4 Replies

Jesus Christ what a crazy day this has been. First off, since May 2007 I have been receiving harassing calls from an Asian woman who claims I have lied to her and betrayed her.

She usually fills my voice mailbox with messages preventing any legitimate messages from being recording. All the messages are in another language and they starting out in broken English- whispering weeping and usually increase in volume winding up with her screaming and sobbing.

Usually I’ve just erased them. The phone service we use claim they couldn’t help me unless I changed my number (which can’t be done since my number is the main number) or go to the police.

I figured the NYPD has better things to do, but I found out later this afternoon that if I get a police report from the NYPD I can submit that to the phone service who will send it to Verizon (who control most of the land lines in Manhattan) and they could block these calls. No one told me that earlier.

In the meantime, I asked that my phone be forwarded to the fax machine until Monday. I tried it myself but couldn’t so I schedule it to be done at 2PM this afternoon after I had left for the holiday weekend.

At 3PM I checked and expected to hear a fax machine, instead I heard my own voicemail. The psycho didn’t call. Other methods I have used in the past to discourage this woman calling was to digitally record her messages, load them into my iTunes and then play them back as an outgoing messages.

Some Asian woman screaming and crying about how she’s not a celebrity and everyone stares at her when she goes shopping. I can honestly say I don’t know anything about what the hell she is ranting about.

I should also add that I did meet her last year. She showed up in my office, asking to see John Ozed. The receptionist tells me and I go out and introduce myself and she says I am not John Ozed, that someone as put me up to being John Ozed.

Apparently somehow she got my name and work address and has called me almost every day since then. I know it’s odd but that is how it happened.

I live such an interesting life.

Then Bill asks me to pick up some shoes from the shoemaker and some dry cleaning. I go to the shoemaker and hand in the ticket to some Hoboken born and raised inbred. Old geezer paisan. He can’t find it.

Younger Latino worker asks when the shoes were dropped off, I tell him I’m doing someone a favor, and to look at the ticket. Turns out Bill dropped off the shoes October 30. Today is November 26.

They look and look. They ask me what size shoe, what type of shoe and the shoe’s color. I call Bill, he says size 12, penny loafer and they’re black. They can’t read the ticket. I suggest sending it to a pharmacist so they could read it. They didn’t get the joke.

Geezer paisan says some remark about me going to a pharmacist. I ignore him. 20 minutes they find the shoes and start putting on the toe and heel savers. Almost a month to do the job and here they are putting the savers on.

The kid behind the counter takes some money off the bill and wishes me a Happy Thanksgiving but I just take the shoes and I leave.

I call Bill, telling him that I couldn’t believe it took them almost a month to do the job. The Geezer is outside and hears me and says, ‘Yeah so what? It took a month.’ I tell him to mind his own business. He doesn’t like the sound of that, and warns me to watch it.

I tell him to shut the fuck up. He again warns me and I tell him to drop dead.

I get the dry cleaning and come home and feel bad about the kid who wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. I call the store and ask for the Latino kid behind the counter. It turns out he answered the phone.

He asks who’s calling and I tell him I was in the store and they couldn’t find the shoes at first, and anyway ‘you wished me a Happy Thanksgiving and I ignored you and that was wrong’.

I wish him a Happy Thanksgiving and tell him that I like the work that they do there, but if the geezer is there next time I won’t be coming in. He says he understands and says, Happy Thanksgiving my friend.

I just saw Rand and Lisa outside and then Julio and Stine with Alexander. Rand and Lisa headed home and I went upstairs with the family unit. Had a few glasses of wine, told them the story I just wrote and watched Alexander teethe.

Alexander restored my faith in humanity so all is well. A few glasses of wine helped also.

Tomorrow, the trip to Beacon NY with Bill and his mother via MetroNorth to have Thanksgiving dinner with Bill’s cousin and his family.

This was written once again on Bill’s Mac since my computer is at Rand’s with a new hard drive I bought this afternoon being repaired and installed.