Category Archives: WTF

Star Me Kitten

Yesterday I saw my first Hybrid car. I may have seen them before, but I saw one pulling out of a parking space on my street and I was somewhat surprised at how quiet it was. Surprised enough to write about it today, but not so surprised as to write about it yesterday.

I came home and wrote, and ate dinner and burned Tumbleweed Connection, Madman Across the Water and Honky Chateau for Jim Mastro. Can I just say again that Jim Mastro is one of the best people on the planet?

I stopped by the Guitar Bar with the CD’s and asked him to show me how to change the strings on my acoustic guitar. He showed me once a while ago but I was probably somewhat addled and as you know, lately I’m not so addled.

So I paid attention this afternoon. I was just me and Jim in the store. I babbled and made jokes. Since there’s usually no one around to talk to, when I see friends I am usually so happy to have someone to talk to I am like a faucet that you can’t turn off.

It took Jim about five minutes whereas if it were me it would have taken an hour or more and I would most likely wind up bloody and possibly break the guitar from using the wrong tools to do so. Who knew you weren’t supposed to use a crowbar? Not me.

And Jim even adjusted the neck of the guitar which was great and something I would never have thought of. Oh he’s just great and I love him. Meghan Taylor is not only the funniest girl alive, but also the luckiest.

Now the guitar sounds brand new, and I’ve been enjoying it even more than ever. I did ask Jim what I owed him for the strings and he said three Elton John CD’s so I was fortunate to have those handy. He’s been working with Ian Hunter lately, and we talked about the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame concert on HBO last night.

We both agreed that Mott the Hoople should be in the Hall of Fame, Ian Hunter is 70 years old, still rocking and the idiots at the Hall of Fame should get their act together instead of fellating Bono. I watched the concert on TV last night, Jim didn’t.

I thought it was merely OK. I think the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is a sham. Many great groups will never be in the hall. The people that decide who are in the hall are record company executives who sidestepped the tar pits and Jann Wenner.

It’s crap, but I watched it and occasionally watch the inductions from the Waldorf Astoria. True, some bands that I like are in the hall, The Ramones, Talking Heads, The Beatles etc, but David Bowie isn’t. It does give a bump in record sales for the artists so that’s good. And I did see the Rascals rehearsing when they were about to be inducted, thanks to Arif Mardin getting me in to the rehearsal.

Bowie turned then down from what I understand, feeling pretty much the same way as I do about the hall. Rock & Roll is free, the music of the streets, not some falsely hallowed hall.

First up on the show was Jerry Lee Lewis, playing with his Great Balls of Fire. I think the people were still arriving at their very pricey seats and not playing much attention to the Killer.

Then they wheeled out Crosby Stills and Nash. Not my favorites by any means, though I do respect Graham Nash somewhat, David Crosby a bit too, but Steven Stills is quite a burnout who from what I understand, thinks he was actually in the Vietnam War.

Not protesting it, but fighting in the rice paddies.

I was talking with Harpy on the phone while they were playing, surprised that Harpy kept insisting that Stills is still a great guitar player. That was enough for me to tweak Harpy and say that Stills may have been a good guitar player, but what has he done for me lately?

Harpy feigned being indignant. Maybe he wasn’t feigning but it was fun twisting Harpy’s pierced nipple over the phone.

Bonnie Raitt came out and she was fine. Jackson Browne came out and Harpy incorrectly said Jackson beat up Nico when he was going out with her in the 1960’s. When Jackson was 16. Wrong. It was rumored that Jackson beat up Darryl Hannah (pre Kill Bill, otherwise she would have mopped the floor with him) and Joni Mitchell wrote a song about how Jackson is a serial abuser, driving his first wife to suicide. Ouch!

In any event Jackson and Darryl never said anything about it, at least not to me.

James Taylor came out and sang Love the One You’re With with CSN. You know, the song that excuses cheating on your partner because they simply weren’t around.

Then Stevie Wonder came out like a breath of fresh air. He sang with Sting, BB King and Smokey Robinson. John Legend came out and they played The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson, causing Stevie to breakdown mid song sobbing.

The song carried on and then Jeff Beck came out and played Superstition with Stevie while dressed like Chrissie Hynde.

Paul Simon was next, along with Crosby and Nash. Stills was probably having Nam flashbacks. Then out came Dion followed by Little Anthony & the Imperials and then Art Garfunkel came out and sang a few of their hits and everyone clapped.

Aretha was up next looking good and sounding great. Aretha lost a few pounds and made a dedication to Ahmet Ertegun. Then Annie Lennox came out wearing a shirt that said HIV Positive. I don’t think she’s HIV Positive just showing awareness that anyone could be HIV Positive. They sang Chain of Fools and that was it for them two.

Then came Metallica, by which time Bill came home and said, ‘Is that Metallica?’ never knowing or even saying the word ‘Metallica’ prior to that.

Joe Piscopo Lou Reed came out and sang Sweet Jane, with a big picture of the Velvet Underground (Doug Yule version, NOT John Cale) projected behind Lars Ulrich. Yes, everyone has a Lou Reed story. He’s probably one of the most disputed men in rock & roll.

A love him or hate him kind of guy. John Cale said it best, ‘How could such a horrible person write such beautiful songs?’

Then out came Ozzy who sang some Black Sabbath crap, followed by Ray Davies who seemed like he couldn’t wait to get off stage, like he met Metallica for the first time onstage. U2 were next and to their credit had Bruce Springsteen and Patti Smith together singing Because the Night while Bono looked like a dork. Patti split, Bruce stayed and sang ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’ with the band.

Bruce split and out came Mick Jagger singing Gimme Shelter with Fergie who may have hurt herself trying to imitate Merry Clayton’s vocals on the original. Some other Black Eyed Peas may have been on stage at the same time but you couldn’t tell.

Jagger was hilarious, being ‘Mick Jagger’. Mr. Low Percentage Body Fat he is. Bill was amazed, that this guy on stage doing those patented Jagger moves could have been Fergie’s grandfather, as well as Bono’s dad.

Mick split and out came Chrissie Hynde Jeff Beck. Sting popped up again sang People Get Ready which Rod Stewart sang with Jeff Beck in an aborted reunion in the 1980’s. Buddy Guy came out and he was classy, Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top came out and played Purple Haze with Jeff Beck under a big projection of Jimi Hendrix.

Bill asked if all the guys from ZZ Top had beards and I told him out of the three guys in ZZ Top, only two have beards. The one who doesn’t is named Frank Beard. True story!

Then out came Bruce and the E Street Band. Sam Moore from Sam and Dave came out and sang Hold On I’m Coming & Soul Man. Tom Morello came out and sang the Ghost of Tom Joad ( I heard it took a few attempts for Morello to get his guitar part down. Same with Patti Smith earlier. A few attempts for Because the Night)

Then John Fogerty came out for Fortunate Son and Pretty Woman. Bruce and the E Street Band played Jungleland after Fogerty left, then out came the great Darlene Love singing A Fine Fine Boy.

Darlene left and then it was time to give the accountant some. Some guy looking like Mr. Weatherby from Riverdale High sat at the piano and sang New York State of Mind, sounding just like Billy Joel. Big finish with Born to Run and Jackie Wilson’s Higher & Higher.

It was a really long concert. A little over 4 hours. Bill went to bed, I stayed up and watched The Day the Earth Stood Still which was terrible.

It had promise but the plugs for products where overwhelming and the part of the little boy should have gone to a different actor rather than Will Smith’s son.

The part that really threw me was a scene where the major characters are speeding up Sixth Avenue to Central Park. Then they switched to that street in Los Angeles that they use for shots of Manhattan. Too many trees to be real.

And it was hilarious when the world is about to end, and the earth stands still. Throughout the movie, people are panicking, no school, people fleeing where ever it is they are. Then the world stands still and bewildered people are shown leaving their offices and assembly lines, because you know people would still go to work and those cars still need to be made when the world is about to end.

Truly a crap movie, not even John Cleese could save it.

Bruce playing while Creed from The Office sings

Bruce playing while Creed from The Office sings

Back Door Man

Well it’s been yet another odd day in the course of a weird week. Let me also start off by saying that I was upset yesterday and decided to post directly to the people that comment frequently, namely Annemarie and Harpy.

It left me with a strange feeling, enough so that I relented and posted on the blog today, what was written yesterday. I’m feeling slightly better today despite somethings that have happened in the last couple of days.

It all started Tuesday night. Around the close of the business day for those that are still engaged in business, I saw an ad on Craigslist and sent my resume to the email address posted. I didn’t expect to hear anything until the next day, but to my surprise, I got a call back within minutes.

Cathy Cline was her name and she told me that she had received a job posting that I would be perfect for, and could I come in to see her the next day, Wednesday? She mentioned that timing was everything and I chose the 9:30 appointment in the morning.

I got there, right on time, filled out paperwork that I was told I would not have to fill out since I filled it out online. I meet with Cathy Cline who mentions that she’s worked with Teresa Scalisi & Janelle Rintrona, both former Wanker Banker employees.

It seemed like I was in good company. Cathy Cline had some requests, to revamp my resume, using bullet points. She gave me a memo with the company’s name on it, Selective Equity. Selective Equity is located at Great Jones Alley by Lafayette Street. I could definitely work there.

I called Bill afterward and asked if he could help with the revamping. He started doing it when he got the chance and I continued working on it when I got home. Emails between Bill and myself and Cathy Cline went on for an hour or so before we agreed on a bullet point resume.

All I had to do was wait. The day progressed into the evening, no problems. I had a good feeling about Selective Equity and hoped for the best. The next morning I was in the shower.

I heard the phone ring but couldn’t get to it. When I dried myself off I checked the phone. It was Cathy Cline asking me to call back. It’s all in the timing. Cathy Cline seemed pretty happy.

I called her back. She told me that the company, Selective Equity liked my resume and wanted to see me either that day or today, Friday. Timing being everything, I said today, meaning yesterday.

I was excited and started to think about what I was going to wear when the phone rang again a few minutes later. It was Cathy Cline. This time she didn’t sound so happy. She tells me that Selective Equity changed their minds, something about tossing out all the resumes and going to start all over again.

It seemed that Selective Equity was revamping their job posting. That was crushing. And from that point I drifted into despair. And while despairing, I decided to not post last night. I was that unhappy.

The day went on and it dragged for me. As I shuffled about here and there both inside the apartment and outside in Hoboken, a dark cloud hovered over me. I did whatever it was that I did yesterday when I finally had an idea.

I decided to call Selective Equity directly. Their website was quite lame, just a pitiful logo with no information available but I did have their phone number from the memo.

It was around 5:00 when I called and spoke to the receptionist. I mentioned that I had applied for a job and was told that Selective Equity had decided to do the job search a different way and threw out the resumes they had gathered.

The receptionist didn’t know anything about it and asked how I knew about the job, what company did I sign with? I told her I was reluctant to say the company’s name. She asked the counselor’s name and once again I was reluctant. She asked my name and I said, John.

Then she put me on hold and I thought to myself, ‘What the fuck am I doing?’ and hung up. I had a feeling I had gone too far. I did my best to put it out of my mind.

No harm, no foul, right?

Watched the usual Thursday night comedies, couldn’t get into them. My phone call lurked in the back of my mind. Bill came home but I didn’t say anything about it. We watched Jurassic Park, which I rented from the library.

I had seen it a few times, and I still really enjoy it. Bill had never seen it so we watched it. I was still enjoying the intensity of the whole thing. Spielberg, if anything truly can do suspense really well.

Bill went to bed afterward, I stayed awake watching TV. The day started as usual, Bill kissing me goodbye, me getting out of bed some time later.

Once again, I showered and once again the phone rang. Once again I checked the voice mail. Once again, Cathy Cline. Not so happy. I called Bill.

Now here is the basic difference between Bill and myself. I’m hesitant to call Cathy Cline back, and I explain what I had done the day before. Bill says I should call, that she might have a different position for me.

For Bill the glass is half full. For me, the glass is being held by Hiram Monserratte and he’s coming towards my face.

I thought the best possible thing I could do is deny, deny, deny. I get off the phone with Bill and call Cathy Cline. Oh how Cathy Cline was upset with me.

How could I betray her like that? She trusted in me, giving me the name of the company, since I knew Teresa Scalisi and Janelle Rintrona that I must be alright. This is why companies hire recruiters so they don’t have to deal with applicants like myself.

I explained that I was desperate and just wanted to find out about the job. She didn’t need to hear that, telling me that she knows how hard it is out there. Only a few jobs and way too many applicants. Her own son is unemployed so she knows all about that.

Oh she was disappointed with me and basically left me feeling that she would not doing anything else for me. Oh, and she wished that I would have a good weekend.

I actually felt a little better once I knew where I stood. The day wasn’t as heavy as it was yesterday. I went out, walked around. Enjoyed the sunshine. Texted a lot with Rand and when I got home sent out more resumes.

Hopefully Cathy Cline won’t blacklist me, sending my name out to other staffing agencies and letting them know of the egregious sin that I performed.

If she did, well the news hasn’t reached Jersey City, where I have a job interview set up for Monday morning for yet another agency.

Nothing is guaranteed, they’re just going to meet me and see what skills I have.

I will be there at 10:59.