Category Archives: WTF

I Learned the Hard Way

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Well well well. Where to begin? I’ll start at the end. As I was walking from the cigar shop to the bus terminal, listening to Pet Shop Boys singles collection, by cellphone rings. It’s Bill. My first thought was that Bill was nearby and saw me stomping down the avenue.

No, it wasn’t anything pleasant like that. Bill told me, he was washing his hands in the bathroom and heard some water running behind him and walked into the kitchen to find water spewing forth from the hot water heater that was installed 2 years ago.

Peter our absentee landlord decided to save money and bought a General Electric hot water heater from Home Depot. I told Bill to turn off the spigot (tighty righty, lefty Lucy) and then I called Julio. A hint of panic in my face as I asked him to do me a favor, to go up to our apartment and check to see if Bill was able to turn off the water.

He moaned but did come upstairs. I then called Peter and let him know what was going on. He was on the line with Bill and got off the phone with me as soon as he could. I trudged to the gate and chatted with Hyman Gross.

He asked how I was doing, what kind of day did I have. I told him I was glad the work was done and also told him about what happened with the hot water heater. He assumed the hot water heater was in the basement like other places have. Not us. Our hot water heater is between the stove and the kitchen sink.

He asked how big the hot water heater was and I told him it was as big as he was, which made him remark that it was probably shrinking like he is. Hyman is in his 80’s in case you didn’t know. His remark made me laugh somewhat.

But as the minutes moved on I realized how much of a hassle this was going to be. I have a job interview tomorrow morning, with a recruiter. It’s for a Monday through Friday job and that’s what I was looking for.

The hours are unlike any hours I’ve worked before. 5:30PM to 1:00AM. It’s a law firm and my job would be to make sure all the lawyers and others will get their town cars home. It’s also supposed to be an immediate hire.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I came home and trudged up the four flights to the fifth floor where U heard voices. I was hoping it would be Peter but he’s an absentee landlord after all. It was Bill and Julio in the kitchen.

The blue bucket underneath the spigot collecting a steady stream of water, wads of paper towels on the floor, some puddles as well. Julio took off a pipe from the water heater since it was difficult to use the bucket with the pipe there, and with the hot water heater now defunct, the pipe in question was redundant.

Julio stayed for a little while as I threw out the paper towels and laid down newspapers, remembering the method used when the cellar in our house in Lodi would sometimes flood. Super absorbent and cheaper than paper towels.

Also threw down some rags to sop up the water. Julio split and went back to his life, Bill and I discussed Bill taking off tomorrow for the installation of a new water heater. Peter’s flunky Robert is supposed to get one and deliver and install it.

Robert is an idiot and I don’t trust him so I will have to tell Bill to keep an eye on everything Robert does. So that is where I’m at right now. Very tired too.

I Want To Be The Boy To Warm Your Mother’s Heart

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Oh it’s been a while but Bill and I are watching Lawn Hors d’œuvre SUV. Actually it’s on while Bill prepares to go to bed. I just got home a few minutes ago. Been an alright day.

Had the interview at 10:00 this morning. Of course I did my best not to be late but as luck would have it I was on time and pretty much sweaty. It was a short interview, out of there around 10:15. That left me with an hour and fifteen minutes to kill.

I called up Bill hoping that he would be able to come down from his office and see me. But he was too busy. So I took the train uptown and called Bill once again. I’m pretty sure the epiphany that I had over last weekend helped with my ambivalence towards this job interview.

I think Bill was anticipating my climbing the walls over the interview but I was pretty much nonchalant. Even more so once I got to the cigar shop. Marcus, Calvin and Bradley all in. It was a lackadaisical day all around.

It was up to me to make the bank deposit and I saw that yesterday was quite pitiful. I was relieved that I was not to blame for this. I wasn’t in yesterday. Or the day before effectively making this day, Thursday a Monday.

Most of the irregulars came in today, including Martini Basher. He didn’t have much to say to me but what he did say was relatively pleasant. Marcus heard about the incident with Martini Basher and my negative review and seemed alarm at first but I think he saw the humor in it, considering there was Martini in the back hiding behind a newspaper screen and enjoying a cigar.

The day was as remarkably boring as any other day that preceded it. A sales associate from the store next door that sells a lot of expensive and useless things that people don’t really need was leaving after working there for 6 years.

Her name was Elizabeth and after she got out of work she was meeting friends over at a bar near the cigar shop. Calvin suggested that I go over for a quick pint before he left so then he could go over and have a drink himself.

So at around 6:30 I headed over with Elizabeth and had 2 quick pints before headed back to the shop. Calvin was done for the day which was nice and left me with Bradley and Sean. Both helped me out immensely today so I ordered a burger for Sean and French Fries for Bradley.

Before I knew it, the work day was over. I headed out, leaving the cigar shop and headed down the avenue towards the bus terminal, listening to Elephant by the White Stripes. I forgot what a great record that is.

Now I’m home watching a recording of President Obama on the Daily Show. Bill’s asleep and I plan to join him soon enough. After I watch tonight’s episode of Dead Set.