Category Archives: STFU

I Like The Way She Do It

Somehow I was able to manage going to school and working part time. It was no big thing and I preferred work to school. In 1978 I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, I knew that I was not to be college bound. I was working in the college department and once summer school ended, I worked the month of August as much as possible while still listed as a part timer. I was pretty much straight edge in most senses of the term, no drugs, no drinking. But I was having sex and it was decidedly not ‘straight’

My parents had friends named Larry and Mary Jane. Larry did some work with the National Guard which had a base near where I lived. Near the National Guard base was a rest area on Route 80. The rest area was a short cut of sorts to get from my neighborhood to the local supermarket and the Two Guys department store. My friends and I didn’t think much about the rest area, it was just a place to walk through that ran parallel to Essex Street, situated next to a Nathan’s Hot Dogs stand. My friends and I did not notice much.

One night I overheard about how the National Guardsmen raided the rest area. It seemed that there was a lot of undesirables loitering there doing unnatural acts at night. Basically a bunch of closeted and not so closeted men would drive there and cruise each other, having sex in the bushes. So the National Guard came in and harassed or busted a few heads open, all in the name of decency. I didn’t pay much attention to the violent aspect of what was said but the thought of sex with men in the bushes stayed in my mind.

One night while alone at home, I did wander over there and saw some things and even participated in some action. I enjoyed it a lot and likened it to being in the sexual revolution. While my classmates at Paramus Catholic were busy trying to unhook bras or even trying to get their girlfriends to ‘just give it a little kiss’ down there, I was getting blown by their fathers, uncles and neighbors. I figured that if what I was warned about was so much fun, that a few other places must have some similar things to offer to a horned up teenage boy.

So whenever I had the chance, I would check out these places I was told to stay away from. The Garden State Plaza had a public restroom underneath the mall in the subterranean concourse, next to Bambergers. It was a goldmine of sorts. And there was a system set up to warn the men there doing things with other men to cool it, someone was approaching. It was a very hot scene and through a system of one guy being a lookout, informing another lookout, a glance to the guy constantly washing his hands and someone whistling, doors were shut, men left hurriedly and in under 60 seconds it was like nothing was going on, just the smell of musk and man scents lingering in the air.

One time while going there, I stumbled into the vice principal of Paramus Catholic enjoying himself in a stall. I don’t think he recognized me (he was also a councilman in a neighboring town) but I certainly recognized him. There were crackdowns on occasion, mall security would come in every now and then and clear everyone out. One time, a former neighbor was working as mall security and noticed me as part of the horned up group of men zipping up on the way out. I didn’t think much of him then, he was a bully and treated his wife and kids quite badly.

All this while juggling school and work. Living a double life at age 16.

Mr. Impatient






My Guy


21 My Guy

I Lie Around

It’s been another day. Today was a Saturday and as far as I know it still is, though for some of you it is already tomorrow. Glad I did not have to wake up early for another round of Pakistani charades like yesterday. Who knew Bradley was so versant in Urdu?

Bill was up before I was and actually started to converse with me as I lay sleeping. I pleaded (read: snapped) at him to please let me continue sleeping. He should have known better, but still what he said was encouraging. He keeps saying he has my back and I certainly believe him. He knows what has been going on and has been able to make light of the situation.

I caught the bus as usual, rode into Manhattan. Near the bus terminal was the usual weekend flea markets and the avenue was filled with people headed to a food festival. I avoided that so I would not be late for work. My co-workers were Jerry Vale, Bradley and Zack. Jerry Vale was his usual effervescent self, Bradley just grunted and Zack to my surprise waxed effusive.

I set about doing the things I do, making sure items were in stock so the store would run smoothly. There were lots of fingerprints on the glass, doors and windows so I took care of that. Some of my favorite customers came in, some specifically looking for me and it was good to see them.

It was a busy day over all. I had three Asian women to deal with and as I finished their transaction I asked if they were Japanese and they said no, they were Korean and pretty. ‘You certainly couldn’t say that if we were Japanese!’ I nodded and then kept my mouth shut after thanking them as they headed to the door.

Lunchtime came soon enough and I decided to check it out. It was in Hell’s Kitchen which used to be dodgy, but now it’s like Chelsea now, meaning pretty gay. And things being what they are I of course ran into a former hook up, Ruben. He lived nearby as I remembered and wondered if it was a Freudian thing that got me there.

There must be something in the air, perhaps its spring fever since it finally does feel like spring, but I allowed myself to be seduced and went back to Ruben’s studio apartment. It was just as I remembered our previous encounters, lots of laughs, quite a bit of moaning and throbbing and I have to admit it is quite sexy when Ruben talks in Spanish during intercourse.

It’s like a Gomez/Morticia thing, with Gomez going bananas whenever Morticia would speak French. A few pile drives later and a quick jump in Ruben’s tiny shower and I was back on the street headed back to the cigar shack. Luckily I stretched beforehand so there were no Charlie horses to contend with though my shoulders did ache a bit from Ruben’s legs resting on them.

It was great to see Ruben once again and we exchanged numbers. His schedule is quite erratic, more than mine- and said anytime I wanted to stop by on my lunch hour- he was up for it both literally and figuratively as am I, even right now. A Five Hour Energy drink was purchased on my way back to the cigar shack so I would not have any flagging spirits throughout the rest of the day.

A few hours later and Bradley split first, then Zack with Jerry Vale and I manning the fort. It was a bit busy oddly enough before closing and I thought about paying Ruben a house call on the way home, but decided against it since I am working with Zack and Jerry Vale tomorrow. I did text Ruben and we might have a lunch date tomorrow, so that’s something to look forward to for sure.



Ruben Ruben Ruben (old modeling pic)


04 From a Buick 6