Category Archives: Shed a tear

I Am Loved

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Back at work today. Woke up to a maelstrom outside my window. Definitely a day to sleep in and how I would have loved to have done that. But no, some misguided sense of duty called and I just had to answer that call.

I granted myself about 15 extra minutes of sleep which eventually amounted to about 10 minutes. What I bargained with for those extra minutes I have no idea but something would come up eventually no doubt.

Last night I should have gone to see Lois DiLivio performing in a shop window on Washington Street, one of the few shops I did not apply to. I thought about going, and thought about not going but once I was settled in at home, it was extremely doubtful that I would head out again. My loss, truly.

Just one picture from Lisa Rigoux Hoppe’s camera made me realize that I should have at least made an appearance. Regardless, home is where I stayed, waiting for Bill to come home from the Nuyorican Poet’s Cafe, a celebration for Miguel Algarin.

By the time he came home I fell into the comfortable rabbit hole of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Yes, I own the super deluxe version but this was so comfortable and familiar that I opted to watch it.

Bill walked in, tired and happy to be home. He did some computer stuff on his iPad or Mac Book or possibly both before he went to bed. I stayed up and watched the Simpsons before I went to bed. I should have taken a melatonin like I did the other day and like I did a few months ago.

Things were going well for a while but lately I’ve been stressed and my sleeping has been a bit fitful, so a melatonin tablet is on the menu.

Got a text from my brother Brian this morning as I was getting ready to go to work. He was 2 blocks away. I would have loved to have met up with him, but no, it wasn’t in the cards. He did warn me about the maelstrom and told me to be careful and I told him the same.

I walked up to Washington Street, to the bus stop and called Bill as I waited. He was his usual effervescent self and I was the usual grouchy baby on the other end. After getting off the phone with Bill I decided to call my brother Frank to see how he was.

It ended badly once again with Frank last week and figured I might catch him at a moment when songs from Sweeney Todd weren’t being sung. The songs weren’t being sung, but he had no time as he was heading out the door for an appointment.

He did mention that he was worried about me and I told him I knew that. I didn’t say it was from Annemarie telling me.

Soon I was at the cigar shop working alongside the Bradley. Let’s face it, there is no love lost between us. It was sort of fun working at the cigar shop when Raymond and Don were working there, but they’re no longer around and the only fun comes from Sean who works part time.

It was a long day and there was the Big Smoke event going on a few blocks away this evening. The Big Smoke to-do is a show where cigar makers as well as scotch makers hand out free cigars and samplings of scotch all for the admission of $250.00 in advance, $265.00 at the door. Some cigar makers did stop by the cigar shop and blessed the staff with free cigars which was quite nice.

Marcus hung around the cigar shop most of the afternoon making things a bit uptight. He eventually left, leaving Sean and the Bradley and myself to man the shop. And it’s been not as busy as it’s been the past few weeks.

The Bradley left later than usual hanging out with David Dexterport, a fairly regular customer. I have to admit, I enjoyed chatting with David Dexterport in the past but now I’ve been superseded by the Bradley. That’s the way things turn out I suppose.

As I got my ducks lined up to close the store and make that 10:30 bus the cigar shop door opened and I thought to myself, ‘Wow, that guy looks just like Marcus.’ It was Marcus. He was coming back from the Big Smoke event with yet another cigar maker who blessed Sean and myself with cigars once again.

I flew down to the bus terminal, a few steps removed from my closing the store since Marcus was there to finish what I could not do since he was staying behind. Made it to the bus terminal, next to last passenger before the doors closed.

And now here I am, at home in Hoboken on the mainland.

Dedicated to Jet Watley.

I Don’t Care If the Sun Don’t Shine

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It’s a Monday and it feels like a Sunday. Sunday was actually nice. It was Halloween which in Hoboken gave an excuse for grown ups to party in costume on Saturday night and for kids to do the same the next day.

The kids in Hoboken don’t knock on doors, they just go to the various stores and hit up shop owners for candy. Eventually the stores run out of candy and post signs on doors and windows saying just that. I went out in the middle of the afternoon, Washington Street crowded with kids and adults.

I missed the Ragamuffin parade, but still there were large groups in costume, going to parties or wherever. It was amusing to watch and I took some snapshots. Most of the action was on the boulevard so after walking to the post office, I opted to swing round back via the river.

I walked out onto Pier A, it was chilly but sunny as I enjoyed a cigar. Ahead of me were two teenage girls, one of whom turned out to be Ruby, Jim and Meghan’s daughter. She was having Halloween hijinks, the two of them dressed up like characters from Pokemon. After my time, for sure.

Came back home and just chilled out. Bill was headed to the gym and I made myself a nice dinner. Bill and I watched Bill Hicks Live, a compilation of some of his live shows. I totally missed the boat on Bill Hicks when he was alive, and only in the past few years have I ever really heard of him.

And that was from reading about him or seeing ads for a DVD or CD release in Mojo or Uncut magazines. The UK certainly took him to heart. Bill who loves watching stand up comedy hadn’t really seen Hicks’ act before but really liked it a lot.

Enough so that he went online to look up Bill Hicks on Wikipedia. Bill Hicks died at 32 from pancreatic cancer in 1994, in his parent’s home. Bill sussed out that my dislike for Denis Leary is because Leary stole bits of Bill Hicks’ act, sometimes word for word. My antipathy for Denis Leary seems validated.

Boardwalk Empire was on after Bill Hicks and after that Bill went to bed. I stayed up for a while, started watching Poltergeist when midway through I quit and went to bed.

I tried watching that Walking Dead show on AMC, but after the high intensity of Dead Set, this one seemed to be a bit plodding. Maybe it was a zombie script, and a zombie director. Perhaps this is post-Lost television, the hope that the series lasts a few years and they could have an unfolding plot.

It hasn’t really caught on, in fact besides Lost, all the other attempts for an episodic series have failed thus far.

Tonight feels like a Sunday night, feels like I have school tomorrow and homework to be done. Just thinking about work at the cigar shop is unnerving. I always have the feeling I’ve done something wrong.

I usually haven’t, but still I feel like the other shoe is about to drop. It usually gets better once I’m there. It’s all the scenarios in my head that run through my mind beforehand is what can be a real spoiler. Perhaps it’s just an unease about tomorrow, and it being election day. Don’t forget to VOTE people!

Juan is supposed to be in the area. I haven’t seen him since July, at Maxwells and then Rand & Lisa’s. He said he might stop by around 9:00 which could mean 10:00. He’s having dinner with his family, who he hasn’t seen since July as well. It will be nice to see him.