Category Archives: Shed a tear

I Don’t Care If the Sun Don’t Shine

It’s a Monday and it feels like a Sunday. Sunday was actually nice. It was Halloween which in Hoboken gave an excuse for grown ups to party in costume on Saturday night and for kids to do the same the next day.

The kids in Hoboken don’t knock on doors, they just go to the various stores and hit up shop owners for candy. Eventually the stores run out of candy and post signs on doors and windows saying just that. I went out in the middle of the afternoon, Washington Street crowded with kids and adults.

I missed the Ragamuffin parade, but still there were large groups in costume, going to parties or wherever. It was amusing to watch and I took some snapshots. Most of the action was on the boulevard so after walking to the post office, I opted to swing round back via the river.

I walked out onto Pier A, it was chilly but sunny as I enjoyed a cigar. Ahead of me were two teenage girls, one of whom turned out to be Ruby, Jim and Meghan’s daughter. She was having Halloween hijinks, the two of them dressed up like characters from Pokemon. After my time, for sure.

Came back home and just chilled out. Bill was headed to the gym and I made myself a nice dinner. Bill and I watched Bill Hicks Live, a compilation of some of his live shows. I totally missed the boat on Bill Hicks when he was alive, and only in the past few years have I ever really heard of him.

And that was from reading about him or seeing ads for a DVD or CD release in Mojo or Uncut magazines. The UK certainly took him to heart. Bill who loves watching stand up comedy hadn’t really seen Hicks’ act before but really liked it a lot.

Enough so that he went online to look up Bill Hicks on Wikipedia. Bill Hicks died at 32 from pancreatic cancer in 1994, in his parent’s home. Bill sussed out that my dislike for Denis Leary is because Leary stole bits of Bill Hicks’ act, sometimes word for word. My antipathy for Denis Leary seems validated.

Boardwalk Empire was on after Bill Hicks and after that Bill went to bed. I stayed up for a while, started watching Poltergeist when midway through I quit and went to bed.

I tried watching that Walking Dead show on AMC, but after the high intensity of Dead Set, this one seemed to be a bit plodding. Maybe it was a zombie script, and a zombie director. Perhaps this is post-Lost television, the hope that the series lasts a few years and they could have an unfolding plot.

It hasn’t really caught on, in fact besides Lost, all the other attempts for an episodic series have failed thus far.

Tonight feels like a Sunday night, feels like I have school tomorrow and homework to be done. Just thinking about work at the cigar shop is unnerving. I always have the feeling I’ve done something wrong.

I usually haven’t, but still I feel like the other shoe is about to drop. It usually gets better once I’m there. It’s all the scenarios in my head that run through my mind beforehand is what can be a real spoiler. Perhaps it’s just an unease about tomorrow, and it being election day. Don’t forget to VOTE people!

Juan is supposed to be in the area. I haven’t seen him since July, at Maxwells and then Rand & Lisa’s. He said he might stop by around 9:00 which could mean 10:00. He’s having dinner with his family, who he hasn’t seen since July as well. It will be nice to see him.





I’ll Always Love My Mama

Well here we are. It’s a new day, a new week. Actually the day is almost over. It’s 7:15PM. It’s been a long day. I slept late, not getting out of bed until 9:45 this morning.

I tried to stay in bed, but it was too cold. The disadvantages of a top floor apartment, it gets cold fast. Took out the air conditioner last night which made things somewhat less breezy, but without the heater on, it was pretty cold.

It was a long day yesterday and having had such a good time on Saturday at Rand’s party made for a slightly hungover day Sunday. Which of course, added to my despair and despondency.

I checked my schedule and today is my only day off until next Tuesday, giving me seven days of work, nonstop. I so want to get out of the cigar shop. Part of me says to buck up I can take it and I’m sure I can.

I’m just dreading next Monday when I am expected to partake in a Monday Night Football thing in the back room of the cigar shop. It’s a multi faceted problem. I hate football. It’s not going to end until around midnight and yeah, I’ll be paid for it.

But I probably not get home until close to 2AM. I’ll have to clean the shop and prepare it for the next day. Oh, and I hate football.

In all the years Monday Night Football has been on the air, I have never watched a game. In fact the closest I probably ever got to seeing a game was when Howard Cosell announced that John Lennon was murdered in Manhattan on December 8, 1980, and my mother yelled up to my bedroom what had just been reported.

Today I decided to do something. I went to Flash Tech, a computer store in Hoboken. I also applied at Yes I Do (a card shop, stationery store), Panera Bread, T-Mobile, Tunes, The First Provident Bank, Sears and Macy’s as well as Godiva in the Newport Mall. All through pounding the pavement in the rain.

Some of those places merely referred me to their websites to fill out forms online. Macy’s was a 9 person group interview. I think it went well, and hope it will offer me something besides angst.

I don’t know what’s worse, having no hope, or having hope. The hope thing is all I have left.

The job offer from that guy Ian in August seems to have faded away. I did contact him on the last day in September since he said I should hear something by middle or late September. He proffered a few more weeks since they hadn’t moved into their Manhattan offices yet.

I contacted Kerry, my late cousin Jackie’s daughter asking her if she knew of anything. Also sent a letter to my cousin Joe. He’s a vice-president at a big bank and I merely asked for something low level, in the mail room hopefully.

Kerry responded almost immediately since it was via Facebook messages, saying she’s keep her ears open. Joe hasn’t replied at all. Perhaps it’s because I contacted him via snail mail. So there’s my hope.

And I suppose there is more hope with what I applied for on the street and also online. Other than that, I guess I have to grow a pair and make the best of the situation I find myself in.

I have also been asked to come up with a concept with the shaving company near the cigar shop. Buy a box of cigars and get a free shave. Pay for a shave and get a few premium cigars? I don’t know.

I’m open to suggestions.

I’d be willing to split the 1/3 of 1% commission.

Just received a rejection from T-Mobile minutes ago. As soon as I can, I am dropping them as my cellphone carrier.

afternoon glories



Mom-Me June 1976