I got to work at around, like, 7:15, give or take a minute. Not something I want to do all the time, but good to know I could go to work at that time if I had to. Picked up 2 dozen bagels and some lox and cream cheese and I know I ordered butter but it didn’t seem to make it the bag. I thought I’d make do with what might be in the fridge, but it turned out not to be enough. That meant I had to run around Soho and search for butter. I bought a quarter pound for a buck twenty five.

I should’ve gone east instead of west. More residential eastward. It was hot and sweaty as I started to set up this meeting. I was drenched. It was quite muggy out. Luckily me being not so dumb after all had an extra t shirt. I took binder clips to my t shirt and pinned the clips to the wall in a dry deserted room, behind the door.

One of the visitors was Andre Harrell, founder of Uptown Records, notoriously once President of Motown Records, for a year when he didn’t really do anything but hype himself. He’s also responsible for giving Poof Daddy his first break. Then he fired Poofy and Poofy started Bad Boy Records. When Andre was overthrown he went to work for who else? Poofy. He looked nice and seemed humbled. No more Bentley’s for him. A yellow cab will do. He’s working for a good cause, The RED thing. Bono from some band is throwing his weight behind it as well. So you know it’s got to be big.

Of course, after laying out a spread of bagels and danish, it went mostly untouched. I put it in the kitchen with the other Friday treats, and it was devoured more or less within an hour. More tales from Felicia involving a tryst with a coworker and his wife. After a night of partying. It seems that Augusten Burroughs knew of what he was writing about when he wrote, ‘Dry’. I look like a prude next to these people. Apparently a lot of ideas are written on cocktail napkins at 1:00 in the morning.

Another surprise was the fact the owner of the company showing up in the office. People knew he was going to be in, no one knew when. When came around 10:30. Nice British gent. If he likes you, he likes you. If he doesn’t, he totally ignores you. I guess he liked me. I was ingratiating, but I certainly didn’t kiss his arse. He had a meeting and I ran out and got him some sandwiches and soft drinks. His ideas take place at 1:00 in the afternoon.

After the meeting he sat in, for lack of a better word, bullpen. He was the type to roll up his sleeves and getting dusty, rather than dirty. He’s a clean man that Alistair Whatnot. I had to leave earlier than usual to go see Philip Beansprout with Bill. It was a monsoon when I left work and hopped on a 1 train and it was marked as a 5 train. It was running local and was nearly packed. It was local all the tedious way up to Times Square, when it got even more crowded. That’s at the time the announcement said ‘Next stop 72nd street’. No more local stops. I couldn’t get out. I had no choice, it was up to 72nd street for me. Luckily they improved the station and I transferred. It used to be that you had to pay full price again to cross over to downtown. That’s where the MTA made their fortune I bet.

I made it to the session, Bill was inside talking to Phillip. About Bill’s nervous stomach. As in ‘I am Bill’s Stomach’. I sat and listened as time passed. Better time, than gas I suppose. We eventually started talking about issues that we are there to talk about. Sex mainly. It’s the sticking point so to speak. I won’t get into detail but Philip suggested we talk about these things out of session. I agreed and brought up the subject when we settled in at home. Bill sat there, uploaded a program on his computer and eventually went to bed, without saying one word.

Okay. Therapy tonight and oh what a night it was. Got a lot of things out in the open, namely sex. I’ve definitely come to terms with the open relationship thing, against my initial wishes but I’ve been busy and don’t want to waste my life waiting for something that doesn’t seem like it going to happen anytime soon. The surprising thing is we’re companions, partners, roommates, and friends even, but are we really lovers?

In the biblical sense, since we do love each other so very much. Just those 7”are noticeably missing. Like I said, I am comfortable with the open relationship. I wish it wasn’t open but I suppose it’s making the best out of a messed up situation. It’s like sitting in a comfortable chair when you’d rather stand. It’s not so bad when you think of it.

I also have to wrap my mind around the fact that I’m always going to be second to bus driving. That is his passion in life. Flesh and blood takes a back seat both literally and figuratively. He’s not going with me to see Philip Beansprout next week because it’s a big holiday weekend and he’s going to be driving. So I’ll be seeing Philip solo next week.

It was a strange walk home after the session due to what was said during tonight’s session. Bill is resolute in his ways and quite proud of it. He’s not going to change. He’s told me this many times in the past and over the past six years I can’t say that I really saw any major change.

He has certain issues with some suggestions I’ve made to spice things up, to rekindle our sex life yet he offers no suggestions of his own. So nothing gets done and we wind up seeing Philip Beansprout on a Friday evening. We definitely have different outlooks and it could stem from the fact that we came out of the closet at drastically different times. I knew when I was 13 and never doubted it at all. I think he might have really struggled with the fact that he was gay.

I mean, it wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for me, so to speak, but I knew. All my life plans were changed at 13. I don’t know what Bill’s story is and I won’t try to guess at it. But it is intriguing. Philip agreed with me on the fact that Bill doesn’t have any suggestions to start things up again, he’s content with the status quo.

On the walk home I told Bill I was willing to do anything, really anything to get him interested in me sexually again. He didn’t have any immediate ideas, and I wasn’t expecting any. But he knows that I am willing. Is he? I have an open mind, and if it’s reasonable I’m game. If not, then a drink might be in order beforehand.

The talk continued when we got home, lots of silences and deep soulful looking in the eyes. We talked about how he used to say that he doesn’t mind if I fooled around since he knows he has my heart and he’d be waiting for me in bed. But there is no guarantee that I couldn’t fall in love with someone else, and there’s no guarantee for him either.

The night I met him I didn’t go to the Men In Suits party thinking I was going to fall in love with some guy and want to spend the rest of my life with him. He could go out and find someone just like me but with that extra oomph that he feels is missing from me. And I could go find some guy that just released from jail.

Yes, relationships are hard work. And it’s worth it.